


Free Fall

by Haggledore



Series: Any Which Way [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Violence, Mutual Pining, Romance, Sex, Slow Burn, but can be read on its own, part of a series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:07:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 62,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25116613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haggledore/pseuds/Haggledore
Summary: It has been ten years since Loki and Tony broke up. Ten years since they have spoken to each other, have even seen each other. Now they find themselves meeting again under tragic circumstances that leave them both reeling. Both wondering. But just as they begin to reconnect, the world seems destined to pull them apart.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Any Which Way [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/259942
Comments: 62
Kudos: 70





	1. Chapter 1

It was hot. Too hot. The air hung thick and heavy over the sea of black. 

Far too inappropriate weather for a funeral, Tony thought, as he pulled into one of the only available spaces left in the unsurprisingly crowded carpark. 

He could recognise Thor from a distance, glowing mane of blonde hair caught carelessly in the gentle breeze. Tony got out of his car and made his way through the gathered crowd towards the friend he had not heard from for over a year. 

Before he made it that far he felt a hand on his arm.

“Even at a funeral you have to make an entrance.”

He knew the voice and smiled. Clint.

“It’s a rental,” he replied, accepting the hug his oldest friend offered.

“I didn’t know there was a Porsche rental place in our hometown, especially one with a 2020 plate.”

“Quick as a whip as always Natasha,” Tony said, hugging her too. “So maybe it isn’t a rental. Just a short-term purchase.”

“What are you going to do? Abandon it in the graveyard?” she replied.

“Natasha,” Steve reprimanded. 

They were all here already. To be expected. They had always been better at timekeeping than Tony, even for formal events. But he was loath to admit that there were other reasons for his hesitation about attending. And those were the real reasons for his delay. 

“To have that kind of money,” Clint said, looking up wistfully to the clear blue sky above.

“Hey, I have offered so many times. Especially now,” Tony said.

“No charity,” Clint replied. He moved to wrap his arm around Natasha’s waist and Tony noted the sizable bump that pushed against the tight fabric of her dress.

“And no more talk of money,” Steve said. “This is a funeral.”

Like we could forget, Tony thought as he turned away to look back across the crowd. He could still see Thor at a short distance and making a quick gesture to his friends to let them know where he was going, he headed over.

Thor looked the same as always. Hair washed and dried to perfection, clean cut beard, piercing blue eyes. But there was pain in them now. When Thor laid eyes on Tony he didn’t say a word but drew him into a hug. 

“Thank you for coming. I wasn’t sure if you would.”

“I wouldn’t miss this.” Tony let out a heavy sigh. “Frigga was always so kind to me. When me and Loki were… Even after then. Every birthday and Christmas there was always a card waiting at my door.”

“She always thought very highly of you. Even after you and Loki broke up. She saw how good you were for him and I think part of her, I think part of us all, thought you two would find each other again.”

“Some things just aren’t meant to be,” Tony said. 

It had been a long time since he had thought about that. But he couldn’t lie and say it had been a long time since he had thought about Loki. He always found his mind drifting towards the tall, black haired man, wondering what he was up to, where he was living now, whether he was with anyone. It wasn’t a jealousy thing. Too many years had passed for jealousy to come into it. It was more a general curiosity, and a more recent realisation that he missed him. Or rather he missed the version of Loki he knew. Ten years had passed since they split up and ten years was a long time to wonder if a person was still the same as you left them. 

“He knows I invited you,” Thor said to his relief. 

“Where is he?” 

“Round the side there. He doesn’t do family gatherings.”

“I know,” Tony said, looking in the direction Thor pointed. “I remember.”

He headed towards the place, moving carefully through the crowd with his head bowed. So the car may not have been a bright idea but he still didn’t want to attract too much attention to himself. Steve was right, it was a funeral. 

There was no mistaking Loki when he finally made it around the corner. Long slender frame, jet black hair, pale skin, his hand held by another. Okay the last bit was new but hardly unsurprising. It had been ten years for goodness sake.

The pair looked round as he approached. The stranger looked surprised for a moment then hid his reaction well behind a steely expression that gave away nothing. But Loki was like a stone. He had always been good at stoicism but even at his own mother’s funeral he had taken added precaution and had his eyes hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses so Tony had no idea what he was thinking.

“Stark,” Loki said. The word was jarring coming out of his mouth after this long a time. “Thor said you were coming.”

“Yeah, hi,” Tony said, for once in his life feeling self-conscious especially under the gaze of Loki’s assumed-to-be boyfriend. “I’m really sorry for your loss. Frigga was wonderful.”

Loki looked to the stranger next to him. “Would you give us a minute?”

The man nodded and with a final squeeze of Loki’s hand he departed around the corner out of sight. He didn’t say anything for a while. There was a bench nearby and he made his way to it and sat down. Tony followed. 

“How are you doing?” It was a stupid question he knew but he honestly could not think of anything else to say. 

Loki let out a long sigh and fiddled in the inside pocket of his jacket producing a cigarette and a lighter. He lit it with practised precision and took a drag.

“Do you want one?”

“No thanks. I didn’t know you smoked.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” he replied.

Tony had no right to be stung because Loki was right. They hadn’t spoken in ten years, they hadn’t even been in the same room since then. From that respect it was a very clean breakup. The ties were cut, all contact severed. 

Loki turned towards Tony and although it couldn’t be seen through the dark glasses he was wearing, his expression softened.

“I smoke when I’m stressed,” he said honestly. 

“If you smoke when your stressed then a day like this you should have a crate of cigars stashed somewhere.”

Loki huffed a short laugh. “You haven’t changed.”

“No,” Tony agreed. They sat in amicable silence for a few more seconds. “But I have.”

Loki nodded. 

The time was ticking on and the day was somehow getting even hotter. It would be time soon and they would all file into the room where a family would say goodbye to a wife, a mother, a friend. Tony felt like an imposter attending a funeral for a woman he hadn’t seen in many years. He wondered if Loki knew about the birthday and Christmas cards. He imagined his fury at his mother’s meddling but then another image popped into his head of a kind soul laying his head on his mother’s shoulder by the light of a fire crackling away. He remembered a hand stretching towards him and taking his own, drawing him down beside them.

_“I wish you boys didn’t have to go tomorrow.”_

_“The Christmas break is about to end, we need to get back.”_

_“I know but I’d love just one more day like this.”_

So would I, he thought sadly.

The service was beautiful. Truly it was perfect. Tony had hung back as everyone filed in and made sure he found a seat at the back. The others joined him there. Mostly they were all there to support Thor but they all remembered the kind woman of their youth who was always there with freshly baked goods, a warm hug, a kind word of encouragement, and they all wanted to pay their respects to those memories. 

Loki sat on the front row with Thor between him and Odin. The mysterious maybe-boyfriend sat in the row behind and occasionally placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He had taken his sunglasses off now but from this angle Tony couldn’t see his face. 

At the wake Loki remained largely separate. His now-assumed boyfriend kept close to his side and they occasionally shared words but mostly just stood in silence. Thor went over a couple of times but their interactions didn’t last long. Tony kept his distance with the others who sat together on a round table nursing hot cups of tea and coffee. 

“Are you and Loki still close?” Tony asked.

Natasha took another sip of her tea and then replied, “Yeah we keep in touch. He has been really busy with work recently so we haven’t been able to see each other and call as much…and then Frigga fell ill.”

Tony wanted to ask where Loki worked but he thought he better not. Too much interest would only arouse a suspicion that need not be aroused. 

“Does it feel weird, you know, seeing him again after this long?” Clint asked.

“I guess,” Tony said. “Under the circumstances. A lot has happened since we were together.”

They all fell silent then. To say a lot had happened was more than an understatement.

From a distance Tony watched Loki separate himself from the man beside him and head for the back door. Excusing himself from the group, he got to his feet and followed. The smell of smoke hit him as he walked through the door and he quickly shut it behind him before it permeated the room they had left. 

“I haven’t seen you for ten years and now I can’t get rid of you,” Loki said.

Maybe we shouldn’t have left it for ten years, Tony thought. Instead he took off his jacket and said, “I’m gunna go put this in the car. Want to join?” Back out under the sun and in seconds the heat had become almost unbearable. 

Loki didn’t reply but he pushed himself off the wall and they began to walk. 

“So, who’s Mr Tall Dark and Handsome?”

Tony was pleased that he got a second huff of laughter from Loki then. 

“His name’s James Barnes. He’s a good friend of Steve’s.”

“And yours by the looks of it.”

“Not jealous are we, Stark? Keeping tabs on me at my own mother’s funeral.”

“Just exceptionally nosey and in need of some gossip,” Tony said.

“I don’t think your life is lacking any gossip.”

And well. He wasn’t wrong. The tabloids were always obsessed with him. What he was doing, where he was going, what he was wearing, who he was with. It was never-ending. 

They had reached the car now. The metal was hot to the touch as he opened the door and threw his jacket onto the passenger seat. Tony caught Loki giving it the onceover but he surprisingly didn’t make any comment. 

Nothing was said for a few minutes. The quip about the funeral seemed to have jolted Loki’s memory back to the tragic reality he was living. And well. What was there to say? Too much time had passed without a word, without even a sighting of each other. Tony hadn’t been able to attend Natasha and Clint’s wedding for reasons he didn’t like to dwell on. He had seen pictures since and there was Loki smiling widely beside the bride and groom. Handsome as ever. Happy. Had he been missed, Tony wondered when he looked at those pictures. Had Loki thought of him that day? 

Everything felt too heavy. A reunion at a funeral. It could have been funny if it wasn’t so hopelessly sad.

Tony glanced up to Loki’s face and was shocked to see tears in his eyes.

“Loki-“

“Don’t,” he said harshly. “I’m fine.”

Tony sighed. “You are so far from fine.”

He moved to place a hand on his arm but the other man turned away. 

“I will be. It’s just today. Today is too much, all these people and _that family_ ,” he spat the last words. He took a deep breath, letting his head fall forward. This time when Tony tried to rest a hand on his arm he didn’t pull away. “How did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“How did you get through? You lost both of your parents at the same time. How did you do it?”

“Exactly the same way you are doing it,” Tony replied softly. “Look, Loki, there isn’t a right way to grieve but you have to let yourself feel it. One day you’ll be fine and the next you won’t be able to get out of bed from the pain of it.”

“B-but I can’t do it.” 

And now he was crying. Tony tightened his hold on Loki’s arm as he sagged against him, tears streaming down his face.

“Yes, you can. I promise you can. Everything you are feeling is okay. The sadness, the confusion, the anger, the regret. Your mum was an incredible woman and…” 

He was at a loss of what to say. This was all wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Now he could see those eyes, those beautiful piercing green eyes, that had been hidden behind dark lenses all day. There was so much pain in them that it hurt to look. And Tony hated it. Because it was a look he had seen once before though he hadn’t realised exactly what it meant at the time. But now he knew. That time he had turned and walked out of the door, leaving Loki and everything they had shared behind him. Now he knew. Those had been the eyes of a man whose heart was breaking. 

“Look, do you want me to get someone. That James guy?” 

“No,” Loki managed, straightening up and wiping his face. “I’m fine.”

“Says the man who just made a solid attempt at drowning us both in his tears.”

“Shut up Tony.”

And perhaps the reprimand would have stung if not for the realisation that Loki used his first name. 

“You should get back or you’ll be missed. You know how Thor can get.”

“All too well,” Loki said with a watery smile. “Aren’t you coming?”

Scuffing his shoe against the gravel of the carpark, he replied, “I think I might head off. It’s been a crazy day and I think you need to go spend time with your family. Don’t roll your eyes at me. Fine, if not for them then for Thor and your mum.”

With that Loki reluctantly nodded. To Tony’s frustration he would not let him leave without saying goodbye to the others. But as he headed back to the car for the second time he wasn’t at all reluctant to admit to himself that it had been good to see them all. 

Before he left he went to find Loki one more time. 

“I’m going to be in town for a few days so here’s a card with my hotel and number. If you need anything.”

Loki took the card without protest and put it into his pocket. As Tony turned to leave, he said, “thank you. And not just for the card.”

Tony smiled and nodded but didn’t say anything more.

Back in his car he rested his forehead against the steering wheel. It had been a rough day. Rough enough to need a drink which is exactly what he did when he arrived back at his hotel. Undressing out of his suit, he threw it carelessly onto the bed before stepping under the cool jet of water from the shower. It was such a relief to wash the heat and stress of the day off himself. 

The hotel room was light and airy, a perfect counter to the thick heat outside. Tony settled himself against the headboard with his towel draped loosely around his waist. He supposed he should call Pepper. He hadn’t checked his phone all day and he was sure to have endless emails, texts, reminders and missed calls. 

He fished his phone out of his jacket pocket. The screen lit up illuminating a screen full of notifications. With a sigh he threw it carelessly to the end of the bed. As soon as the screen went black it lit up again with an incoming call but Tony ignored it. He was in no mood to talk to anyone. Well, not just anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the end of Tipping Point I posted a little note saying I had plans for a sequel and though I didn't expect it to have taken quite this long, here finally is the first chapter for Free Fall. I hope you enjoyed and decide to join me in this new adventure. Until next time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely responses to the first chapter. I hope you all enjoy this one too x

He hated the sun. He was far too pale for it. It made him angry to see the sunlight gleaming through the window. It was completely inappropriate for a day like today. He had wanted rain, he had expected it. Thick clouds, drizzling rain, an irritating wind that whipped at their bodies as they crowded outside. But what made him angriest of all was that his mother had loved the sun. She would have loved to have gone for a walk in a park and enjoy the warmth of the day on her skin and smell the flowers that bloomed along the path. Loki was so angry that he, a lover of rain and darkness, was here to live through a stunning day of sunshine that his own mother, who would have loved every second of it, was deprived of. 

A knock at the door broke Loki out of his reverie. He took a few swift steps and pulled it open. There was Thor standing tall in a neatly pressed suit with a small, strained smile. As soon as he saw Loki’s blank expression, the smile faltered.

“It’s time, brother,” he said.

Loki nodded and followed him out the door. 

In the car, he gazed out the window as trees and cars and people flashed by. They were all enjoying their day in the sun. Perhaps not the ones on their way to work. But even those he was jealous of. Just to have a normal day and not have to think about anything out of the ordinary. Thor tried to make conversation but when he only received nods or one word answers he soon desisted. 

James, though he preferred Bucky, was waiting for them when they pulled up. He greeted Loki with a brief hug that was not reciprocated. There was a look of hurt on his face but Loki didn’t much care. Today wasn’t about Bucky’s feelings, he had only met Frigga once but he had wanted to come to support Loki. At the time he thought it would be nice to have the other man there but now, recalling the conversation he overhead but two days before and the argument that ensued, he wished he had not come. He pushed his sunglasses further up his nose and stepped away. 

The carpark was filling up quickly and a crowd was starting to gather. Natasha and Clint were already there and Steve joined soon afterwards. Words felt thick in Loki’s mouth as he greeted them and tried to make conversation. In the end he made an excuse and moved away from the crowd. He missed the sympathetic looks his friends gave him as he walked away and he was glad of it.

To Loki’s annoyance Bucky followed him. 

“Please don’t avoid me,” he said.

“I am not avoiding you,” Loki replied. “I am avoiding everyone.”

“I want to be here for you.” Bucky took Loki’s hand in his.

“Are you not here with me right now?”

“You know what I mean.”

At that moment there came a noise from around the corner and there was Tony Stark. Perfectly tailored suit, immaculate beard, shoes shined. All he was lacking was the cocky smile that adorned almost every tabloid and magazine cover. 

“Stark,” Loki greeted, working desperately hard to not show how hard his heart was beating. “Thor said you were coming.”

He couldn’t work out what Tony was thinking at a distance but even as the man stepped closer he still struggled to read his expression. That was a blow, he used to be so good at that.

Bucky tightened his grip on his hand but at a few words from Loki asking for a moment alone with Tony, he left. As soon as he was gone Loki felt himself relax just a little. There was something comforting about being close to Stark again. He exuded calm in a crisis. 

They talked about nothing as Loki smoked. He was glad for the distraction for his hands to stop himself from fidgeting. He did not want to show the man who broke his heart just how fragile he was. It had been ten years. Ten years of pain and confusion. Upset and regret. Anger and resentment. Wondering and waiting.

But Loki really couldn’t deal with all those feelings right now. As he sat down waiting for the service to start, he pushed the past to the back of his mind. Sadly, that did not last long because at the Wake Tony followed him outside again.

“I haven’t seen you for ten years and now I can’t get rid of you,” he said, hoping he was able to slip enough genuine emotion into the sarcastic quip that Tony would get the hint and leave him alone. 

But Tony didn’t say anything. He fanned himself and took off his jacket. 

“I’m gunna go put this in the car. Want to join?”

Loki’s immediate thought was no. He had come outside to be alone and his stubborn heart couldn’t let that go so easily. But then again, maybe the emotionally confusing reappearance of a long-lost ex was just the distraction that he needed to forget the other emotionally draining aspects of the day.

Of course, Tony asked about Bucky. It was hardly surprising and Loki was sure if the roles were reversed he would have asked the exact same. The thing is there wasn’t too much to say about him. Or rather there was too much to tell in that moment. And the stuff with Bucky was yet another thing on Loki’s ‘Do Not Talk Or Even Think About’ list for the day. 

As they approached the car Loki worked hard to hold in a scoff. Brand new Porsche, not even a single speck of dust or mud dirtying the gleaming exterior. 

Neither of them spoke for a while, both lost in thought. Tony’s brow creased and Loki noted the lines in his face that hadn’t been there when he last saw him. Worry lines, age spots, wrinkles. Ten years was a long time. 

It was then that he felt a wave of emotion wash over him and he was helpless to stop it. That brief moment of weakness. That moment of dwelling on the past. Of lost moments, lost laughs, lost memories. The man he assumed he would have grown old with and here they were together again after ten years apart, now almost strangers. He wondered what his mother would say if she were here. It was such a stupid thing to wonder because if she were here they most certainly wouldn’t be together. 

His eyes were brimming with tears. He turned away in hope that Tony wouldn’t see but the small moment jolted him out of his reverie and he glanced up into Loki’s face. Tony spoke his name then with such a sincere tone of affection and sympathy and it was almost too much to bear. 

“Don’t,” he snapped. “I’m fine.”

But Tony was right. He was so far from fine. 

He told Tony that the day was too much. That part was true. All the people being around was also true but it wasn’t the family that was bothering him. They were here for Frigga, not for him. Loki may not love them, he may not even like many of them, but they were Frigga’s family and they had a right to mourn and to say goodbye and he wouldn’t be so bitter and selfish as to deprive them of that. 

Tony had lost both his parents at the same time. Maybe it was cruel of Loki to ask him to relive that grief now but he needed to know how he got through. How did he survive each day knowing he would never hear them speak again or see their faces? He didn’t believe he could do it. Through everything Frigga had been there. She had chosen to love him when no one else had and had supported him through everything. Natasha was there for him when he and Tony broke up but it was his mother who really picked up the pieces.

That was the moment he lost it. He couldn’t hold back the sobs any longer. Tony held his arm tightly and he leant into the touch. After all this time Loki still remembered the familiarity of his touch and it brought comfort to him. Part of him wanted to look at Tony and see if he felt the same, that there was still a memory there for him too, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He had been wrecked enough for one day.

They returned to the hall soon after with Tony looking to depart. Before he did he sought out Loki one more time and handed him his card with his hotel and number scrawled on the back. Loki pocketed it with a thank you that he truly meant. Despite not wanting Tony there to begin with, he had turned out to be a godsend and, in all honesty, he was sad to see him leave. 

“What was that?” Natasha asked, making Loki jump.

“What was what?”

“You and Tony outside and then him coming over and giving you a present. I expected you to avoid him like the plague today.”

“We both know Stark’s stubbornness knows no bounds. If he wants something, he usually gets it.”

“And today he wanted you?” she smirked.

“Don’t be crude, Natasha.” But he smiled despite himself. It was nice to feel wanted even if it was just one of her stupid remarks. Then again, why would Tony have sought Loki out a number of times if he didn’t want to see him? “He gave me his card.”

Natasha took it from Loki’s hand eagerly and scanned the information.

“Fancy hotel, no surprise,” she scoffed. “And his number! Booty call if ever I saw one.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Loki said, pocketing the card again. “He was just being nice. I’m not going to even text him let alone drop by his hotel.”

“Shame,” Natasha said. “You could do with something to put a smile on your face.”

Loki ignored her, partly because she was being ridiculous and partly because Bucky had just approached them and he really didn’t want to be asked any questions. He was sure Steve would have let slip at some point that Loki was the ex of world-famous billionaire Tony Stark but Bucky had never actually asked him about it. Then again, what did it matter if Bucky did ask? Tony was an ex and Loki was sure that Bucky soon would be too.

The hall was almost empty now and Loki was thankful that his conversation with Natasha had put enough people off from saying goodbye. Odin had gone, Thor explained. He was feeling too tired and wanted some time alone. He assured Loki that he would see him back at the house and make sure he was okay. Loki nodded in reply.

He had chosen to stay in a hotel rather than join his brother in their old family home. He wasn’t ready to return to his childhood bedroom and not hear the soft sounds of his mother cooking in the kitchen or dusting the many picture frames that adorned the walls. 

“I need some time too,” he said. 

“I’ll go with you,” Bucky said.

Clearly he did not get the memo that Loki meant he needed time _alone_ but he was frankly too tired himself to argue. 

“Text me when you get back to your room,” Thor said to Loki, but he was sure the comment was actually directed at Bucky with a ‘make sure he gets back safely’ hidden in his words.

An hour later and they found themselves in a crowded bar. Loki was grateful for the noise, it was good for drowning out his thoughts. Bucky fidgeted in the seat opposite, taking large gulps of his pint then setting it down for a second before picking it straight back up and taking another couple of swigs.

“Will you just say what you have got to say,” Loki said eventually.

Bucky looked at him for a second in mock confusion but on seeing Loki’s expression he quickly dropped the act.

“I didn’t want to bring it up today.”

“But…” 

“But,” Bucky sighed. “We need to talk about it.”

“There’s nothing to say. You are leaving for somewhere halfway across the world and I am staying in New York. I can’t go with you anymore than you can stay here.”

“So that’s it?” he asked.

“That’s it,” Loki replied, taking the last sip of his gin and tonic.

Bucky reached across the table and took his hand. “I don’t want to leave you like this.”

“We knew it was going to happen sooner or later. We just hadn’t factored in that my mother would suddenly fall ill and die or that you would try and hide you leaving from me.” His harsh tone made Bucky flinch. “I don’t want your pity.”

“I’m not pitying you. I just want to be here for you.”

“I’m not getting into a long-distance relationship with someone just because they feel bad and want to comfort me. We both knew this was going to happen, we just didn’t know it would be under these circumstances.”

“And you’ll be okay?” Bucky asked, squeezing his hand.

“I am always okay,” Loki replied. 

“What do you want to do now?”

“Rip the band-aid off. I always find that the longer the goodbye, the more painful it gets.” 

That wasn’t entirely true. He had barely been able to say goodbye to his mother and the agony it was causing him was unbearable. But he didn’t want to drag this out with Bucky, he didn’t want to end the night with an awkward goodbye with the alcohol cooled in their veins. Much rather it be now as the gentle hum of the gin warmed his body. 

“Do you want me to go?” Bucky asked quietly.

The bar was a racket around them but Loki still managed to hear him clearly through the noise.

He nodded. There was a lump growing in his throat and he was worried that if he spoke his voice would crack. 

With a sad sigh Bucky got to his feet. He walked around their table and stood before Loki. He took a few seconds just to look into his face and the other man looked right back. Then he placed a gentle kiss on his lips and another on his forehead. 

“Make sure you text Thor when you get back.” 

With that he turned on his heels and disappeared into the crowd. 

People jostled around the room. It was starting to get really hot. The music was getting louder. Loki continued to sit at his table, staring aimlessly into the bottom of his empty glass. Time was getting on but he was in no mood to head back to his depressing hotel room with its whitewashed walls and sickly green curtains. 

Instead he went to the bar and ordered another gin – a double this time. It was gone in minutes and another one was ordered and quickly polished off too. He knew he shouldn’t be drinking so much. He was well aware that as his vision started to blur and his stance started to waver that he should call it a night, order a taxi and head back, dropping Thor a quick message.

But he had had such a shit day. 

It hadn’t been love. He was sure of that with Bucky. Seeing Tony again had reminded him of all the emotions he had locked away deep inside of himself. He could still remember the rush, the comfort, the contentment of being in love. With Bucky it hadn’t been love. Maybe one day it could have been. He had lost so much recently that he felt like he was drifting through an abyss with nothing to anchor him into place.

Loki stumbled on a barstool, throwing out his hands to steady himself. As he straightened up his hand brushed against his pocket and felt the rigid shape of a small rectangular card. He pulled it out and through hazy vision he was just able to make out a line of digits.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long delay. I have been finishing my Masters degree and needed to take time away from writing to concentrate on that. But now my dissertation is submitted and here is another chapter for you all. Thank you for all the continued support, the kudos, the comments, the bookmarks! 
> 
> I saw a comment asking me to clarify the timeframes between this story and Tipping Point. Free Fall is set 10 years after Tony and Loki broke up which was during their 3rd year of university. So Free Fall actually takes place about 12 and a half years after Prom Night which is where we left these two in Tipping Point. Hopefully this chapter helps to shed a little light on this and if not I promise future chapters definitely will!

It must be some cruel irony, Loki thought, as he found himself lying in a strange bed with a pounding headache and the vague memory of clambering ungracefully into a Porsche the night before.

He blinked a couple of times in the dim light of the room. Thick curtains kept most of the light out but a thin gap in the middle allowed a beam of light to cut across the duvet and up the opposite wall. Loki rolled over as he tracked the beam until his gaze settled on a table with ten chairs. Only one was occupied. 

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty,” Tony said with a grin. 

Loki groaned and covered his face with his hands. 

“I made a complete arse of myself, didn’t I?”

“Not a complete arse,” Tony laughed, getting up and passing him a glass of water which he accepted appreciatively. “You mostly kept mumbling that you have a meeting on Tuesday and you couldn’t be late to the point that you tried to open the door of the moving car. Thankfully I had the child locks on.”

Feeling himself grow hot, Loki buried his face once again in his hands. 

“I do have a meeting on Tuesday,” he said, his voice muffled.

“Then aren’t we grateful that it is Thursday today.” 

The mention of the day brought Loki back to his senses. Yesterday was the funeral. The day he buried his mother. Today was the day after. The first day he had to fully accept that she was gone for good. A gravestone now stood as evidence of her life; the cold hard stone reflective of the cold hard fact that she was not coming back.

And what a first day it had turned out to be waking up in your ex’s hotel room with very little memory of how he got there. Great.

“Thor is going to kill me. He told me to text him when I got back last night. I bet he already has the police patrolling the streets checking wheelie bins and bushes.”

Tony snorted into his mug of coffee. “Yeah…” he hesitated. “About that. After you got here last night and had passed out on the bed your phone kept ringing and I tried to wake you but you were flat out. Anyway, I thought, you know, to avoid the bushes and bin searches, I sent Thor a quick text pretending to be you saying you had got back okay.”

Loki could visibly see him steeling himself for a telling off and for a brief moment he felt the anger bubbling up inside himself at such a stark invasion of his privacy. No pun intended. But as he saw the look on Tony’s face he felt the anger melt away into relief. 

“Thank you,” he said. 

“I thought I was going to be in some serious trouble there,” Tony joked, though he looked relieved all the same.

Loki smiled a little. “You were but you have also saved me a huge telling off and a very awkward conversation that I am not particularly in the mood to have about where I actually ended up.”

“And hey, if anything at least this situation has taught you more than anything that you should probably change your phone passcode from the one you were using back in high school.” 

Despite the amount of embarrassment Loki suffered in that moment at having been discovered that his technological security was severely lacking (something very painful to admit to someone so advanced in the area as Tony bloody Stark) he couldn’t help but be surprised that after all this time Tony still remembered his passcode. 

He vaguely remembered mumbling the four digits to Tony after a particularly wild night that had left him barely able to remember his own name let alone his phone’s password. Tony’s phone had died but he wanted takeout and Loki had been far too stubborn to roll over in bed and unlock the screen himself. It had taken him a second to remember exactly what order the numbers came in and as they finally clicked into place he had drifted off to sleep. He had been unpleasantly woken up an hour later by a loud pounding on the door and Tony’s excited _whoop_ as the pizza arrived. 

“Speaking of awkward conversations,” Tony said, interrupting Loki’s thoughts. “How come you called me last night and not Barnes?”

Of course that question was inevitable but it didn’t mean he welcomed it any more than if it was asked right out of the blue. 

“James and I are no longer together,” Loki settled on. Best to keep the answer short and uncomplicated. Well, it would have been if Tony hadn’t been one to wheedle every last detail out of a person. 

“Shit. Yesterday really was a bad day for you.”

“Yes. Thank you Stark,” Loki shot back with a glare.

“Sorry,” Tony said, realising that perhaps his comment wasn’t entirely sensitive, if at all. “So, what happened?”

“I broke up with him,” Loki replied shortly. 

Tony’s eyebrows raised and for a moment he didn’t say anything. He tapped his fingers absently on the screen of his tablet that lay on the table beside him, it having faded to black a few minutes before.

“Any reason why?”

“Of course. I’m not the kind of person to just turn up at someone’s door and break up with them without good reason,” Loki snapped. 

Loki saw Tony shift slightly in his seat and felt a tiny sense of triumph. It had been a very low blow. After all it had been ten years since Tony had turned up at Loki’s university accommodation without warning and had ended their relationship in a few minutes as though they hadn’t been together for almost three years. But it had happened. And Loki would be lying if he wasn’t the kind of man that got a slightly sick pleasure from hurting someone even just a tiny ounce of how they’d hurt him.

Tony turned back to his tablet and the screen flashed back to life. He began to tap away leaving Loki to stare at the side of his head, able to just make out slight crease lines on his forehead in the dim light. 

Loki didn’t know what to do. He finished the glass of water and placed it carefully on the bedside table. He wondered what had happened last night. He knew he had called Tony but what happened when they got back? Tony was dressed in jeans and a soft, faded t-shirt. Had he slept in those clothes? In the same bed as Loki? The opposite side of the bed was neatly made, the corners of the duvet tucked under the mattress. 

“Where did you sleep last night?” Loki asked, breaking the suffocating silence.

“I had some work to do,” Tony replied, not looking up from his screen.

So, he hadn’t slept. Now Loki felt terrible.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

At that Tony looked up and gave him a small smile. 

“Really I did. I’m giving a talk tomorrow at our old school. Thought I should actually do some prep for once instead of making it up as I go along like I usually do.” After a pause, he added, “Hey, do you want to come along?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I don’t particularly want to go alone but Pep is stuck in the city and it’d be nice to have a friendly face there.”

“I don’t know,” Loki replied hesitantly, sitting up straighter and swinging his legs round so he was perched on the edge of the bed. 

He had been pleased to discover he hadn’t stripped himself bare in his inebriated state of the night before. Clad in his boxers and now exceptionally crumpled shirt, he spotted his trousers folded neatly on top of the chest of draws beside the door. 

“Think about it,” Tony said casually.

Loki did think about it. As he stepped under the warm jets of the shower in Tony’s room he wondered whether it was a good idea. On the one hand it seemed ludicrous. They were exes having only just reunited after not even being in the same room together for a decade. There was so much history. So much still unsaid Loki unwittingly realised after his snapped comment. And his mother had just died. He had agreed to go back to work the next week even though his colleagues said it was far too soon. Maybe he should take some time for himself and prepare for the return.

On the other hand, what harm could it do? History was exactly that, history. A snippy comment here and there didn’t mean anything. It was just one afternoon, one invitation. Loki didn’t need to see Tony again afterwards, that was if Tony even wanted to see him again anyway. It was probably just a polite offer, a nice distraction perhaps from the weight of grief. A visit to their old school. Exes to acquaintances. Completely harmless.

He got dressed in the steam filled bathroom. Before he left the room, he wiped the mirror enough to see the sorry state he was still in. His hair was now washed and dried hastily with a towel but he looked exhausted with dark bags under his eyes courtesy of drink and a poor night’s sleep. His shirt was still awfully wrinkled but there was nothing he could do about that. With a heavy sigh he hung the towel back on the rail and unlocked the door.

“Feel better?” Tony asked.

“More awake,” Loki replied. “And at least I don’t smell of tequila anymore. I can’t say the same about your bed though.” His apology was waved away before he could even say it. “I really should be going.”

He grabbed his phone off the table then collected his tie from the bedside table, folding it and slipping it into his pocket. As he headed for the door Tony got up from the table and followed. The door was opened and Loki walked through into the brightly lit hallway. There was only one door opposite making up just two rooms on the whole floor. A lift waited at the end of the richly carpeted hallway attended by a passive-faced bellboy. 

Loki turned back to thank Tony but was interrupted.

“Don’t worry about it honestly, I’m glad I could help,” he shrugged. “And hey, you’ve got my number now so if you ever need anything.” His voice drifted away and then he smiled a little. “Look after yourself, Loki.”

He moved to close the door as Loki made to turn away but then Loki turned back. 

“What time is your talk tomorrow?”

“Twelve.”

“I’ll be there,” Loki said.

“Forget that, I’ll pick you up at Eleven. Text me the address.”  
Loki walked out of the hotel in a slight daze. Tony had tried to offer him a lift back to his own hotel but Loki had refused. He needed the walk back to clear his head.

The next day, unfortunately, it wasn’t any clearer. 

Unlike the weather, however, that was once again cloudless and the sun was blazing down. Reluctant to expose too much pale skin to the elements that were clearly very much against him, Loki had dressed in another pair of black trousers he had packed. He paired it with a pale blue shirt but chose to forgo a tie. It was a speech at his old school not a meeting with the Queen of England. 

Surprisingly Tony pulled up exactly at Eleven and Loki slipped into the passenger seat, greeting him easily. It was odd the familiarity of the drive. Though they weren’t approaching the school from the direction of either of their two old houses, the routes still converged and they found themselves travelling on roads together they had covered hundreds of times before. 

Loki was struck with a jarring sense of deja vu as Tony parked up in the shadow of their school. It looked exactly the same as when they had left it all those years ago. There were the rusting gates that Thor used to wait for him by so that they could walk home together. There was the cracked square of pavement that Natasha had tripped on one day that sent her flying into Loki and they had ended up in a heap on the floor. There was the back entrance to the hall that Tony and he had snuck through at their prom to have some time alone. Tony had pushed him against the wall and kissed him until his lips were sore and neither of them had any breath left. He had taken Loki’s hand in his and whispered something into his palm. He had closed Loki’s fingers and sealed the fist with his own. _A Secret for later_ he had said. 

A man stepped up as they got out of the car who Loki assumed was the principal. It would be an unreasonable expectation to assume that all the staff that had taught them would still be there. 

“Mr Stark, we are so honoured you have come to talk to our students today,” 

“It’s my pleasure,” Tony replied, shaking his hand and accepting greetings from two other members of staff hovering behind the principal. 

Loki felt himself melt into the background as Tony stepped forward to join the trio into the building. Then he felt a hand on his arm and saw a smile that was so alien and yet so familiar. “Come on,” Tony said, eyes bright. “Don’t want you to miss me do my thing.”

And he had to admit Tony was right. Loki stood to the side of the stage as the speech went ahead. He could peak round the curtain just enough to see the hall filled with students and teachers all with faces full of awe as Tony walked on stage. Then the applause took over. Tony raised his arms, half a gesture of modesty to quieten them down but equally an incentive to keep cheering. 

His presence on stage was electric. Quick wit, humour, fascinating intellect, simple delivery. Loki couldn’t take his eyes off the man as he paced the stage. A screen appeared out of nowhere and the hall gasped as 3D images were projected above their heads, taking apart one of Tony’s creations piece by piece before easily slotting back together. 

“Of course,” Tony said. “Though it is hard for me to concede, today isn’t all about me.” Loki snorted along with everyone else. “Without the encouragement I received right here in this school I wouldn’t be where I am today. Don’t waste your education guys because these are the days that will matter later. Have fun, mess about, God knows I did. But don’t waste the opportunities available to you now. Which brings me to my final announcement. I will be creating a grant fund to support every single final year student in their first year after graduation. You guys are the future and I believe in the world you will come to create. Thank you.”

There was tumultuous applause. Everyone was on their feet. Tony bowed and beamed and waved to the crowd as he slowly made his way off stage. 

“Impressive,” Loki nodded.

“Glad I can still impress you,” Tony replied with a wink.

Loki felt his stomach jump and a faint flush creep up his face. Thank heavens it was dark in the wings. Before he could say anything witty back, however, one of the trio who had greeted them when they arrived pushed in.

“Mr Stark I am sorry to say but one of our students has live-streamed your speech and the entrances are now crawling with Press. We are doing what we can to control the situation but there doesn’t seem to be much we can do.”

“A hazard of the job,” Tony said. He turned to Loki. “Want to hide out for a few hours or face the music?”

“After the announcement you gave I don’t think they will be giving up any time soon.”

“Head first into chaos it is then.” He shook hands with the Principal again. “Thank you for letting me speak to your students. You have all the details of my offices to keep in touch and please don’t hesitate to do so.”

“Thank you so much Mr Stark. Today has been invaluable for our school and we are so grateful for the grant scheme you have generously launched.”

Tony waved his words away. Loki politely shook their hands too and the pair said a final goodbye at the front doors before they were thrown open and they descended into chaos. There were cameras flashing and voices shouting from all sides. Loki felt bodies press against him as they squeezed through the crowd. If Tony didn’t have a firm hand on his wrist he would have definitely gotten lost in the sea of people swarming them. They managed to fight their way into the car and thankfully the roar of the engine was enough to force the crowd back as Tony reversed out of the parking space and sped out of the gates. 

Barely a minute passed before a screen flashed to life on the dashboard. _Incoming call: Pepper Potts_. Tony declined the call immediately. A second later Loki felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw five, no six, messages from Natasha. By the time he got it unlocked he had received another three. 

_UM!_

_Is this YOU??!!_

The followed a screenshot of a Breaking News story with a picture of Tony and a slightly blurred black haired individual close behind him.

_I thought you were back in the city?_

_I thought you had work to do?_

_Why on earth didn’t you tell me about this_

_Did you really go home the night you and Bucky broke up?_

_Because leaked information from Stark’s hotel says that he had company the night before last_

_What are you doing?_

Loki read over the messages with a sick feeling in his stomach. How could he not have expected this to happen? He was a complete idiot. He knew Tony’s reputation, he knew his fame, he knew that the paparazzi were obsessed with finding out every single tiny detail of his life. How could he not have predicted this?

His phone vibrated again.

_Are you okay?_

“I should have warned you how bad that was going to be,” Tony said, his eyes fixed on the road. When he didn’t receive a reply, he spoke again. “I’ll drop you off at your hotel.”

“Thank you,” Loki said, his gaze fixed on his phone.

He typed out a couple of words then deleted them. He tried again.

_I took a couple of extra days off. I’ll call you later._

He clicked send and turned the screen off. The world was a blur outside the window. Clouds were starting to gather making everything look faintly grey. It was going to rain and as Tony pulled into the carpark beside Loki’s hotel the first drops had started to fall. 

“Do you need me to do any damage control? Pay all the newspapers to stop printing the pictures?”

“What?” Loki snorted at the ridiculous suggestion. “No, not at all. No one will even know it is me unless they know me really well and even if they do, so what? Are genius billionaires not allowed friends?”

Tony shrugged. “You looked really stressed out. I should have brought security like Pepper said. She won’t let this one go for a while.”

“She is your personal assistant.” Loki wasn’t sure what made him say it. It wasn’t even a question because he already knew the answer. 

“Yeah,” Tony said. “Not sure how she’s put up with me for all this time but…” His voice trailed away.

“Probably because you let her.” Loki stared at the rain now hammering against the windows. “Thank you for inviting me today.” 

“Thanks for not making me go alone. And hey, if you’re ever wanting to dip into the life of the rich and famous again then give me a call. We can have dinner sometime.”

Loki gave him a small smile and a nod as he opened the door of the car. “Goodbye Tony,” he said, turning away and allowing himself to become victim to the cruelty of the pouring rain.


	4. Chapter 4

Two weeks since the funeral and twelve days since Loki had last seen Tony Stark. The media storm had died down very quickly. It turns out no one much cares about the blurry handsome stranger behind Stark when said billionaire has just pledged millions to his old high school. Still, Loki had been pleased that at least one tabloid had called him handsome. 

His phone call with Natasha could have been worse too. She demanded to know everything and Loki gave her just that. How he got drunk and did something very stupid. How he sobered up and potentially did something even more stupid. How he went through with said stupid decision and ended up being accosted by paparazzi. 

“But why did you agree to go in the first place?” she had asked.

“Because I felt bad for drunk dialling him and dragging him out in the middle of the night to save me from drowning myself in tequila.”

“Just say thank you. Maybe an apology card? But don’t agree to see him again when he is the most famous man in America and before you start yes, I am including the president in this. I said famous not infamous. And for another thing he is the ex that broke your heart!”

“Ten years ago.”

“I remember it vividly.”

“I’m an adult, ‘Tasha, I can look after myself,” Loki sighed into the phone.

“If you say so. I’ll get the dustpan out ready to sweep up the pieces.”

“It was one day. Okay one night and a day. And besides, we are both back in New York now, he’s probably already forgotten all about me again.”

Loki had been thankful for work to bury himself in when he had gotten back to the city. Though everyone was wary the first day he entered the office and stayed largely out of his way except for the morning, midday and afternoon tea runs. They knew he was always in a better mood with a steaming mug of tea in his hand, even better a hot mug of cinnamon and ginger. After the first week things started to return to normal and Loki was grateful. 

That was all he needed. Normality. A routine. 

His phone buzzed on the desk beside him. Absently, he clicked on the notification as he hurriedly finished up the note he had just begun. Only when he placed the lid back on his pen did Loki read what the message said.

_Coffee? 10 tomorrow?_

Not a harmful suggestion. Then he caught who had sent the message. Tony Stark.

Loki had saved his number to his phone the night before Tony’s speech after he had texted him his hotel’s address. He had not expected Tony to return the favour, let alone actually contact him again.

This has got to be a joke, he thought, as he tapped out a reply.

_I am in a meeting then._

_I should be too. Offer still stands_

Loki snorted at that. The audacity of some people.

_Difference being I actually care about my job_

_Touché._ A few seconds passed before another message arrived. _What time does it finish?_

_11.30_

He had no idea why he was even entertaining the idea. Why on earth would Tony Stark want to have coffee with him? But the curious, mischievous side of himself that had been laying dormant for so long was starting to awaken and he was reluctant to stop it. 

_Drinks at 12?_ Tony had even gone to the trouble of adding an emoji of a cocktail glass.

Loki hesitated for a split second then typed out _Lunch at 12, drinks another time._ He didn’t bother with a question mark because he somehow already knew what the answer would be. 

_I’ll pick you up. Let me know where._

Natasha would be furious, that was a given. But if that was the inevitable reaction then he didn’t necessarily have to tell her? Maybe Loki did need a routine, to really get back into the swing of work, to get a sense of normality back after the chaotic few months he had just experienced.

Then again maybe he needed the exact opposite. Maybe he needed a distraction and a couple of bad decisions thrown in for good measure. And that is exactly what he told himself as he shook hands with all the attendees of the meeting and politely excused himself from his associates the next day. 

“Do you ever do discreet?” Loki quipped as Tony pushed the passenger door open for him from where he sat in the driver’s seat of another ridiculously expensive car. 

“Don’t agree to lunch with a billionaire if you can’t handle the stick,” Tony retorted. To emphasise his point he shifted gears quickly and sped off down the street. As soon as they hit a junction he was forced to slow and their drive adopted a more leisurely pace from there on. “Good meeting?”

“Worth skipping coffee for.”

Tony smiled. “But average enough to be convinced to have lunch with me after.”

“Your words not mine.”

Tony laughed openly at that and Loki was surprised at how familiar the sound still was. Deeper than what he remembered but nevertheless it stirred within him familiar memories of happier times. Or at least simpler times. 

“So what do you actually do? Because I’m picking you up,” He glanced back down the street through the rear-view mirror. “Outside a lawyer’s office but you’re not dressed like a lawyer. Do you need a lawyer? Are you committing crimes?”

“Stop babbling,” Loki rolled his eyes. “No, I am not a criminal. I am joint CEO of an organisation and we needed to check over some finer details before we commence with our next plans.”

“Shame. You have the tall, dark and handsome look that would definitely suit a dastardly criminal.”

Mental note, Tony was as flirtatious as he had always been. Not necessarily dangerous but something to definitely keep an eye on. No one gets the accolade of playboy for nothing. 

“Seriously though,” he said, as the waitress left after taking their order. “What is your organisation?”

“It’s called Yggdrasil. We work with those from disadvantaged backgrounds, helping to provide skills and opportunities for people that might get passed by. Particularly we have worked with adopted children and those that have come through the care system. We are meeting with our lawyers because we are hoping to expand and create separate departments to work exclusively with particular minority groups and those that face discrimination.”

“That sounds amazing.” Loki could hear the admiration in his voice and his face grew hot. “And appropriate.” Loki shot him a sharp look. “You know what I mean. It sounds perfect for you.”

His expression softened. “Thank you. To do this next venture though we need investors so from next week we will be organising as many pitches as we can get.”

“I’ll invest.”

“What?”

Their food arrived then. A plate of steaming vegetables and quiche was placed in front of Loki and a perfectly cooked steak in front of Tony, completed by a basket of fries to share. They began to eat in silence, Loki with a slight frown on his face and his eyes fixed on his plate. Tony’s mind was wandering, wondering about everything he had just learnt about Loki and everything he had guessed about him in the long time since they had been together. 

“I will not accept your money,” Loki said eventually, taking a sip of water.

“Then pitch to me.” At Loki’s incredulous look, Tony continued, “I’m serious. Sounds like a great idea to me. You need investment. I have money to burn. And if you have such a problem just taking the money then pitch your ideas to me.”

Loki’s frown deepened as he chewed slowly on a carrot. Perhaps this lunch had been a terrible idea. Rather than proving an easy distraction from the mess that already was his life, he was finding himself even more confused and conflicted than he had been before. 

“I will speak to my colleagues,” he eventually replied.

“Excellent,” Tony beamed. 

Well it was safe to say Loki’s office were ecstatic when he returned from an exceptionally long lunch break and broke the news that Tony fricking Stark had become a potential investor. Confused at first by how on earth the two knew each other and how Loki had managed to keep that one quiet for so long, Loki swiftly deflected their interest onto the project at hand. One, albeit very rich, investor wouldn’t be enough and they still needed to sell their ideas to Stark to begin with. 

When he finally got home that night, completely exhausted and with a headache just starting to make itself known, he collapsed on the sofa right on top of the small stack of files he was carrying. His keys dug painfully into his side but he didn’t much care. At some point he must have drifted off to sleep because he found him jerking awake sometime later at the sound of a key turning in the door.

“You have no reason to be that tired. You haven’t been wrestling with pre-schoolers all day!”

Loki rolled his eyes and looked up. “You have no evidence to prove your claim.”

Darcy raised an eyebrow. “Want to bet?” With that she pulled out her phone that had been smothered in fluorescent pink paint. 

For the briefest moment Loki considered telling her the truth about his day. _I raise you having lunch with the ex-love of my life Tony Stark. Oh and he offered to finance my next business venture._ He almost laughed out loud at the reaction he would get. Darcy was one of his best friends in the world and like Natasha they had gone to school together. She had been one of the first to realise Loki’s affections for Tony and pushed Tony into admitting his feelings in return. Like Natasha, she was also there to pick up the pieces when things all went pear-shaped. Unlike Natasha, however, Darcy had not recognised Loki in the background of Tony’s recent Press frenzy, too busy attempting to hide every media mentioning his name from Loki’s earshot or sight. She was a good friend. But soon after they broke up Loki realised he would have to get used to hearing Tony’s name very often for the rest of his life so her attempts to shield him were futile. A flaw of living on planet Earth, it seemed. Even more so now that Loki was electively having lunch with him. 

“You win. Does it still work?”

“I’ve got no idea. Apparently leaving your phone in a locked desk draw is not enough to prevent determined children obsessed with the permanence of paint from getting to it.” She sighed. “I’m gunna take a bath. You can order us something nice. I earned it.”

She disappeared out of their living room and a few seconds later Loki heard the bathroom door close and the familiar twist of the lock. He flopped back down onto the sofa and stared up at the whitewashed ceiling. Taking out his phone, he opened JustEat but as he was scrolling through the endless options for takeout he received a text. He was unsurprised to see who it was from.

Wanting to not give away just how boring his own private life could be, Loki didn’t reply straight away. He selected Darcy’s favourite Chinese and wondered vaguely just how much she would kill him once he finally told her about his potential new investor.

******

Pepper thought it was weird. Of course she did. In some ways he understood. Telling one ex he was having lunch with another ex probably wasn’t a sensible idea. But then hiring your ex as your personal assistant probably wasn’t either. So here Tony Stark was, returning from lunch with Loki to his penthouse where Pepper perched on one of his two ultramodern, wholly uncomfortable sofas. 

“You’re late.”

“I’m always late. You should be more worried if I was on time,” Tony replied, walking to the bar and pouring himself a small scotch.

“You weren’t late to pick up Loki.”

Well that got around to the point far quicker than he was expecting. He was actually quite impressed. Unfortunately, he had no reply so he simply took a sip of his drink.

Pepper stared at him sternly and then her gaze softened. “Tony, what are you doing?” There was genuine concern in her voice.

“Nothing.”

“I don’t believe you. You’re always up to something. And usually someone always ends up getting hurt.”

“If you’re referring to last week in the lab that explosion was a total accident.”

“You sent a huge electrical current through a tiny wire! What did you expect to happen?” Tony shrugged with an attempt at an innocent smile. She shook her head. “Look, this just seems so out of the blue. Inviting Loki to the speech was one thing, a good distraction and a kind thing to do. But inviting him for lunch too? Maybe give him space to grieve?”

“It isn’t about that,” Tony shot sharply.

“Then what is it,” Pepper pleaded. 

He walked over and flopped down on the sofa opposite her. Draining the remaining scotch in his glass, he swallowed heavily and looked up. “I don’t know.” 

That was the truth. In the two weeks between they parted and meeting for lunch, Tony had wondered endlessly why he was itching to see Loki again. It wasn’t that he missed him, it had been far too many years for that. It wasn’t jealousy. He didn’t need to know about the nitty gritty details of Loki’s life now. They were worlds apart and yet there was something drawing him in, calling him back again and again. Call it curiosity. Call it a morbid fascination. 

Sensing a dead-end, Pepper didn’t push the subject anymore. “You missed your other meeting of the day. I brought these papers over for you to sign.” She gestured to the three neatly lined stacks on the coffee table between them. 

“Thanks.”

The scrape of pen against paper was all that could be heard in the room. Stark Tower was tall enough that no traffic noise could permeate the echoey space that made up the penthouse suite. Not that Tony enjoyed silence but he very much doubted that Pepper wanted a blow by blow account of his lunch date so he remained quiet. 

As soon as the elevator closed on her back as she examined the papers in her hands, Tony swiftly rectified the deafening silence with a brief command that was immediately followed by AC/DC blared through the hidden speakers in every corner of the room. He kicked up his feet onto the coffee table and settled himself against the back of the sofa. 

“Friday, bring up everything you can find on Yggdrasil.”

A projected screen appeared before him opening an infinite number of tabs. The top one featured an intricate illustration of a tree with a thick trunk, an impressive canopy of branches and a tangle of roots at the base. The caption read ‘Yggdrasil: an immense mythical tree that plays a central role in Norse cosmology, where it connects the Nine Worlds. Yggdrasil is attested in the Poetic Edda, compiled in the 13th century from earlier traditional sources, and the Prose Edda, written in the 13th century by Snorri Sturluson’.

Tony smiled as he read, a memory stirring. 

_The curtains were drawn lazily so a strip of the starry night outside could still be seen from where they lay on Tony’s bed. Their slow breathing and the occasional whispered words were the only sounds breaking the peaceful quiet. They both lay on their backs, their fingers entwined. Tony’s gaze was fixated on the twinkle in Loki’s eyes as he starred out at the night sky._

_“When I was a child,” Loki began softly. “My mother would tell me stories about the universe. She told me about a great tree at the very centre of it all that connects all the realms together. All our lives are intertwined like the branches and the roots of the trees she would say and I could tell she believed every word. Farcical I know and yet I cannot help but wonder as I look up at the stars where these tales came from.”_

_“What’s the tree called?” Tony asked, tightening his grip on Loki’s hand._

_“Yggdrasil.” And he smiled._

_“That’s pretty.”_

_“It is rather, isn’t it,” Loki agreed. “It’s foolish but I do wish I could go up there. Explore every corner of the universe and come back wiser. Surely there is life up there.”_

_“Maybe one day you will.”_

_“Don’t be so ridiculous,” he laughed, shoving Tony’s arm. “You are the scientist, not I.” Tony smiled softly, aching to pull Loki closer. Loki finally turned his head to meet his gaze. “Why are you staring at me?”_

_“Because I love you.”_

_Even in the dark Tony could see Loki’s eyes widen. “You have only said that once before,” Loki whispered._

_“I didn’t know you were counting.” His heart beat quickened in his chest as Loki leaned closer and captured his lips in a sweet kiss. “If I said it every time I thought it, it’d be the only thing I ever say.”_

_“You’re ridiculous,” Loki said, leaning closer. “And I love you too.”_

_“Both duly noted,” he mumbled, taking Loki into his arms and stealing another kiss from his lips._

For a company that helps connect communities and bring people together, the name was a perfect choice. 

“Friday, sort results mentioning Loki by name or Yggdrasil as organisation.”

The screen immediately changed, bringing up fewer results this time. Tony siphoned through and found the main webpage. He skimmed over the information and he had to admit he was impressed. Over his now long career as business owner and philanthropist he had come across an endless number of organisations all pledging to help those in need with a vow to improve the future socio-political landscape of America. Some had succeeded, others had failed and Tony had remained largely uninvolved in the whole process. 

But now, as he read over Loki’s manifesto, his previous accomplishments, his awards for goodness sake, he felt a growing urge to invest more than just his money. Yes, it had been a spur of the moment decision to offer to invest in the project. Perhaps it was the past haunting him and the need to make something right between Loki and himself, or maybe it was just that he had the money to give. He could feel those motivations changing as he clicked on page after page, article after article until finally he came to an exclusive interview with a local newspaper. A picture was attached with five individuals and in the very centre was Loki.

He didn’t recognise any of the other faces so paid them no mind but even as he was reading he couldn’t help his gaze drawing back to the top image where Loki was happily smiling with his colleagues. He felt a pang in his chest.

All these Press cuttings and search results and not one had permeated Tony’s perfectly crafted bubble of privileged detachment. Pepper had told him once that he was blind to the world around him except for what he wanted to see. He was starting to think she was right. Since he and Loki had broken up he had thought of him often but never actually seen him, heard from him, even heard mention of him. But fame comes at a price. Especially for those around you and whilst Tony could easily block out anything that he didn’t want to hear or see, Loki would not have had that same luxury. 

Tony couldn’t begin to comprehend how painful it must have been to continually hear about your ex and see them on every front cover of a newspaper or magazine or top story on the News. He rubbed his hands over his face and released a heavy sigh. 

Pepper was right. What the hell was he doing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been planning a lot of what is coming. Prepare for angst, frustration, sadness, and any other emotion you can think of! I will be updating tags and characters etc. as I go. Stay tuned for more updates and thank you as always for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Tony really wished he could say that his internet escapades stopped after he read the interview. An hour later he was lost in a rabbit hole searching each member of Loki’s team up individually. He had tried Loki first obviously but had quickly discovered he maintained a low profile outside of his organisation. No public Facebook page and, though Tony knew he could rectify that in seconds, he didn’t think hacking into his account was probably the sanest thought he had ever had. 

The first he searched was named Sif. She was one of the founding members of Yggdrasil. A quick skim over the public information on her Facebook page revealed that she had gone to the same university as Loki. That must have been where they met. Loki had never mentioned her. Not that he could remember anyway. She had a soft smile but rather hard eyes, straight brown hair hung a couple of inches past her shoulders, and she stood with straight-backed confidence.

Next was Volstagg. He beamed at any camera that pointed his way it seemed. He was short, round, with an impressive ginger beard. Besides Loki, he could find the least out about Volstagg. He had no education or place of birth registered on his page. Mostly it was full of pictures of himself helping others, volunteering in soup kitchens and working in a thrift shop. 

The third of the group was Hogun. His expression was the most serious in the picture from his position on the far left of the frame. He was Asian with short, cropped black hair and a shaved face that made him appear a good few years younger than he probably was. There was something in his eyes and in the slight grimace hidden within his small smile that suggested a darkness or sorrow to his character. Tony recognised the expression all too well and quickly switched to the final member of the group, a shiver running down his spine.

Fandral stood the closest to Loki. His smile was all teeth and he oozed charm. Blonde like Thor and with a similarly boyish charm, Tony couldn’t explain why out of all of them this man got under his skin the most. It took less than a minute for Tony to discover that he had an account on every social media and they were all painfully public. He completely bypassed his TikTok account, thinking he could live without ever witnessing that. Instead he scrolled through his Instagram. Tony’s suddenly felt his heart contract. There was Loki. Not in one image but in many and all in different stages of professionalism to downright casual in sweats and an old t-shirt. They were clearly very close. 

“FRIDAY, shut this down,” he gestured vaguely at the screen before him.

The sun was finally setting over the horizon and the city was starting to come alive. Streetlamps glittered in front of his eyes in varying shades of yellow and gold. As Tony blinked he could still see an imprint of them emblazoned on the inside of his eyelids. 

On the one hand, he thought he should probably give Loki the rest of the day to think over the proposal. He might not even have mentioned Tony’s offer to his colleagues yet. On the other hand, Tony had never been one for patience. 

_So when am I getting to see this pitch?_

Short. Sweet. A little breezy but with serious intentions laced carefully within the casual wording. He nodded and poured himself another drink, swallowing it in two gulps. That was followed by another before he wandered off in the direction of his bedroom still holding his phone. 

It wasn’t until late the next morning that he finally received a reply. Not that he had been counting the hours. As soon as his head had hit his pillow, he had been out like a light and hadn’t awoken until the sun was beaming through the blinds in his room. Despite being blackouts even they weren’t powerful enough to fully restrict its rays invading the room.

Tony fumbled with his duvet, tugging it over his head with a groan. “FRIDAY,” his call was muffled by the fabric wrapped around his head. “What time is it?”

“10:52. Would you like me to switch on the coffee machine?”

“Yes. Bring up all notifications too.” Might as well get all the complaints of appointments he had missed this morning out the way first. 

“Here are your emails, missed call logs, and personal text messages organised by time received and urgency as specified by sender.”

Unsurprisingly all messages and calls missed from Pepper were at the top of the list marked with the label ‘life-threatening’. Tony snorted as he played the first voicemail. 

“Tony, it is 10 and you were supposed to be here ten minutes ago so we could brief before you go into this meeting. I have told them you are very sick and unable to make it into the office. Please keep a low profile for today so I can do damage control in your absence. Oh, and when I get hold of you, I promise your life will be under threat.” 

There was always a meeting. Always something to be thinking about, worrying over, taking up valuable space in his brain that could be employed easily on some other wonderous project. Fame and wealth were all well and good but they came at costs to his freedom to invest time and energy into himself. His very surname was cursed with the burden of expectation and he had already made countless decisions since taking over as CEO that had rocked the boat. To his contractors, employees, and associates his tardiness was another fault explained away by arrogance. 

That opinion seemed to be ever-growing in popularity in recent years. But there had been a time where, lost in his research, fixated to the point of obsession on a new project, that his tardiness was a positive attribute of his endlessly endearing personality. It had been a long time since anyone had viewed any of his personal projects in such a way. So long in fact that Tony had lost the enthusiasm to share them. When he was late for anything he was immediately written off as a rich, spoilt man born into privilege that he used to shirk responsibility. What was the point in arguing against anyone who had so clearly already made up their mind?

“Delete all notifications,” Tony said as he rolled out of bed and padded towards the kitchen.

“You have four more messages from Miss Potts in which she poses threats to your health and well-being along with one text message with a response to a question you posed yourself. Are you sure you want to delete these?”

Pepper was nothing if not persistent. But the other text peaked his interest. “Delete everything from Pepper and bring up that reply.”

His order was met with silence but as he picked up his phone he could see that all notifications had been erased except for a reply from Loki. With a steaming mug of fresh coffee in his hand, black no sugar, Tony settled on one of the stools at his kitchen island and opened it. He glanced quickly over his question from the previous night, asking when he would be able to see the man’s business pitch. 

_Bold of you to assume my colleagues accepted your invitation._

Tony snorted and tapped out a reply. 

_I call bull. They were thrilled, weren’t they?_

He was halfway through his first mug before he received a reply.

_I wouldn’t want to boost your ego… but yes._

Smiling now, he replied instantly. 

_Name a time and a place._

Loki’s answer came through in less than a minute this time. 

_I’m very busy this week but I have this afternoon free. I understand it is short notice._

Tony hesitated, Pepper’s threats echoing in his head. 

_I’m housebound today, doctor’s orders. Come by the tower this afternoon, I’ll give you clearance to come straight up._

There was no need to say which tower. When your name is plastered across the top of the most distinct high-rise in the middle of Manhattan it isn’t exactly hard to miss. 

_Not contagious I hope._

_Just a precaution. You’ll be fine._

The difficulty with not expressing an explicit time of arrival meant that Tony was on edge for the rest of the morning and early into the afternoon. After sending explicit orders down to reception to allow Loki access to his penthouse, he found himself torn between sitting still and doing nothing and losing himself in plans for his new invention. For some time he was able to distract himself with mindless scrolling on his tablet but the irresistible itch to reopen the blueprints became too much and he soon succumbed to the pull of his lab on the floor below. 

Lost in the rhythmic beats of his music pounding through the speakers, Tony missed the warning call from FRIDAY that his company was in the elevator on his way to the penthouse. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he screwed his face up in concentration. He continued to tinker away until his music was unceremoniously cut off. 

“What the hell-”

“Your company has been expectantly awaiting your appearance for ten minutes, sir. I would think it unwise to leave him any longer.”

“Company? I… Shit.”

He sprinted out the lab. Skipping the elevator completely, he hurdled up the small staircase that was hardly ever used two stairs at a time before he skidded into the main living space where Loki was hovering, shuffling the papers in his hands.

“I am so sorry!” Tony scrambled to apologise. 

Loki’s eyes raked over him and he was suddenly very aware of his laboured breathing and ruffled, sweaty attire. 

“Don’t worry yourself. We didn’t specify a time and I should have sent a message announcing my arrival. I left the office in a rush and forgot that you would likely be indisposed.” 

“With work,” Tony assured him.

“Indeed.” He spoke with a definite note of formality that made Tony cringe inwardly.

“How much time do you have?”

“My colleagues cleared my afternoon schedule to ensure me sufficient time to carry out the pitch.”

“Excellent,” Tony beamed, attempting to ignore his flat tone and the irritating way he emphasised he was only there at his colleagues’ insistence. “I’m going to quickly jump in the shower because all I can smell is metal and grease and I dread to think how that might mature throughout the afternoon. I imagine it would be very off-putting.” His attempts at humour met deaf ears. “Just make yourself at home. Set up whatever you need to. FRIDAY, fire up the coffee machine and I’ll be back in max ten minutes.”

He didn’t give Loki enough time to respond before he was already out the room and undressed, throwing himself under the warm stream of water. There wasn’t enough time for him to think through exactly what he was going to say to Loki when he returned except for another apology. But seeing how well the first one was received he was slightly hesitant and for everything that Tony Stark was, he was never hesitant. 

“Much better,” he said loudly into the room to announce his presence. “Got completely lost in work and forgot the time.” 

Dressed now in a fresh pair of jeans and comfortable t-shirt, one of the least faded of his extensive collection, Tony joined Loki on the sofa where he had chosen to set up. 

“Yes, your personal assistant explained to me how unreliable you can be once you succumb to the pull of a fresh idea.”

Tony was dually bewildered, firstly by the mention of his personal assistant because Pepper was definitely not present but he assumed that FRIDAY must have introduced herself in his absence and given Loki further verification that tinkering in his lab had been the only thing Tony had been doing prior to his late appearance. Second by Loki’s clear change of mood from closed-off stoicism to actively engaging in conversation after a mere few minutes apart. Still Tony wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Coffee?”

“Please,” Loki nodded, gaze once again fixed on the papers before him. A laptop was open on the coffee table with a PowerPoint presentation already loaded. “Dash of milk and one sugar. Do you have a projector I could use? After the talk you gave I figured I didn’t need to bring my own. You seem sufficiently equipped in all manners of technology.”

Sufficiently equipped might just be the understatement of the century but Tony let it slide. For now. Instead he was focussed on the addition of milk and one sugar to Loki’s coffee order. He could have sworn he always took his coffee black and bitter, the same way Tony drank his own. 

“Of course. FRIDAY, do your thing.” With a careless flick of his hand, Tony watched Loki’s eyes widen as his presentation manifested before him from a projector that he couldn’t identify anywhere in the room.

“How-,” he trailed off, tentatively slipping his hand through the projection that stretched out before him. 

“I could explain but it would take up too much time of the afternoon that is supposed to be about your business pitch not mine.” Tony handed a mug to Loki who accepted it gratefully, taking a sip before placing it on the table. “Ready to start?” He settled himself on the opposite sofa to where the PowerPoint now hung suspended by seemingly inexplicable means. “And don’t worry about changing the slide. Just flick your hand towards it and it’ll change,” he added as an afterthought.

Looking entirely uncomfortable, Loki straightened his spine and directed his attention at Tony. Despite his expression he spoke with confidence and soon all hesitation melted away as he was lost in his explanations.

“You already know the basics of Yggdrasil and our founding purpose to provide opportunities and experiences to those individuals that can often be lost or overlooked by a capitalist system fixated on worth dictated by privilege. My four associates and I all share the same ambition to help others and though we have all faced discrimination in one way or another, we want to be able to use our privilege to benefit others less fortunate.”

Tony’s stomach clenched at the thought of the discrimination Loki had faced and half hoped, half feared that that truth would be revealed. But Loki skipped right over his own experiences, instead briefly discussing the sexist system intent on freezing Sif out of any job that had potential for her to be promoted in, forcing her to maintain menial roles she was vastly overqualified for. 

“We plan an extensive expansion of the Yggdrasil we have now, founding specific departments that deal exclusively with minority groups, run by people that have been through similar experiences and who understand what they are talking about. For example, we do not intend to hire a white, middle aged man to discuss the transgender experience in modern America, rather we hope to employ someone with appropriate experiences. The same principle applies to the BAME and the rest of the LGBT communities, and with our interactions with the care system. 

“That brings me onto our six-point plan, or as it has been dubbed, the F.R.I.G.G.A initiative.” Tony smiled softly as Loki continued undeterred. “Focus on the explicit issues we intend to tackle. Recruit appropriate and committed individuals, expanding the team. Investigate best practice for the new directions we want to take Yggdrasil, including, but not limited to, entering into sponsorships, meeting with local officials before expanding outside of the state, extending our outreach programme in schools. Garner a significant following. Guide intensive sessions for educational purposes aimed specifically at adults. Achieve the beginnings of change between communities of people who have experienced neglect, and recognition from authorities of the disparities between privileged experiences and minorities. Focus, Recruit, Investigate, Garner, Guide, and Achieve. 

“We are unable to embark on this initiative without investors who are willing to give our organisation the chance to make a difference that will hopefully extend past this city and this state. I hope you will consider what I have proposed to you today and thank you for taking the time to listen.”

The projection disappeared and silence reigned. It was broken by the sound of Tony bringing his hands together in a lonely round of applause. Loki managed a small smile.

“Your ideas are incredible,” Tony said at last. 

“My team’s ideas,” Loki corrected modestly, settling himself on the sofa opposite. 

“Whatever,” Tony refrained from rolling his eyes. “I’m in. Hundred percent.” Ever unwilling to shatter his stoic demeanour, Loki sighed, leaning forward with an unreadable expression on his face. “What? I know ecstatic might be a stretch but I thought you would at least be pleased.”

“I am happy.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Loki hesitated, shifting in his seat. When he spoke, his words came out quiet, his tone reserved. “I do not want you to say yes for any other reason than that you believe in the project.” Tony nodded slowly. “What I mean is that I do not want our past playing a part in this.”

It was the first time their relationship had been explicitly mentioned. Tony found it an oddly jarring experience to hear Loki mention that time with so much contempt. 

“Loki, I promise this is purely business. I like your ideas and believe in them. I have the resources to help you if you will let me give them.” He allowed Loki a few moments for his words to sink in. But his impatience soon got the better of him and he promptly cleared his throat. “So?”

“Yes. I accept your investment. No strings attached.”

“Just platonic strings,” Tony countered with a grin.

Loki rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the smile that followed. He had just received confirmation of investment from one of the richest and most famous men in the world. By rights he should be over the moon. 

With a free afternoon ahead of him, Tony easily persuaded Loki to stay for a celebratory drink. They were delayed somewhat by Loki’s insistence on calling his office to let them know of his success and from what promised to be a brief conversation turned into a twenty-minute blow by blow account of everything that had happened since he had walked through the glass front doors into Stark Tower. 

Tony hovered in the kitchen to provide the other man some space as he shared his achievement. He caught the odd word from the conversation but he largely ignored what was happening on the sofas in favour of scouring his kitchen for the bottle of champagne that he had hidden in here somewhere. It wasn’t his preferred drink by a mile and had only bought the bottle in the first place to celebrate Pepper’s birthday. She had broken up with him a few days before and instead of impulsively smashing the bottle against a wall which had been his original plan, Tony had buried it at the back of one of his cupboards that he hardly ever opened. 

It was only appropriate that a bottle that symbolised the end of one relationship was used to mark the blossoming of another, right? Platonic, of course. 

The pop of the cork startled Loki as Tony re-entered the main living space. He eyed the bottle of champagne but politely accepted the glass offered to him. Tony settled himself beside Loki, leaving enough space between them as an awkward silence fell. 

“Are you sure you’re okay with this? Us working together?” 

“I am okay,” Loki replied, staring fixedly at the neat stack of papers still laying on the coffee table. 

“Great.” Tony tipped his glass towards Loki. “To being okay.”

Loki lifted his eyes to meet Tony’s and clinked his glass against the other. “To being okay,” he repeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far these chapters have remained largely consistent in length but I do think they will be getting longer as the story continues to progress. Thank you as always for the continued support and for the comments, I love reading them!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, my lovelies!

There was so much to organise. Loki had vastly overestimated his abilities to cope with endless amounts of paperwork that frankly all seemed very tedious. Was a word between adults not enough these days to secure a deal? Judging by the current political climate in every country in the world that was clearly not true. Even so Loki was sick to death of documents to proofread and sign and fax over to Stark’s offices for him to agree and then sign. And that in itself would be far easier if he could get through to the man himself but his communications desk was built like a fortress with a maze growing in front in order to confuse and divert anyone wanting to get close enough to have an important conversation.

Loki supposed that Tony had encouraged him to contact him personally to get the formalities completed more quickly but that offer of a bypass was enough to convince Loki that the interactions would be anything but formal. No. He wanted to do this properly. If that meant sitting for hours on end on hold to Stark Industries’ information desk then so be it.

To his own reluctant surprise, he hadn’t heard from Tony personally since the pitch and their agreement was struck. Being the CEO of a global company with multiple different factions to take care of on top of endless board meetings and researching for new ideas to pursue and innovate the country meant that his schedule was very full even before his philanthropic work. Loki hadn’t given it much thought before. As far as he was concerned, the less his brain dwelled on Tony Stark the better.

Unfortunately, the entirety of his career currently relied on the cooperation of said billionaire which made it increasingly difficult to have a moment to himself without the man popping into his head. Bastard.

“Thank you for calling Stark Industries. Now choose from the following options. Press One for visitor’s information and to arrange a booking, press Two for Press related enquiries, press Three for IT support, press Four for complaints.” Loki snorted at that. Maybe if he selected Four this process would progress a lot quicker. “Press Five for affiliate information, or hold for all other enquiries.” 

He pressed Five and waited. The line rang for thirty seconds or more before someone picked up.

“Hello, the Affiliates Department. Tracey McCall speaking, how may I help you?”

At last a real person! 

“My name is Loki Odinson from Yggdrasil. We are currently in correspondence with Stark Industries regarding investment and I am waiting for a selection of paperwork to be returned to me with the correct signatures. Would you happen to know how far away this is from completion?”

“If you will just bear with me a moment, Mr Odinson, I will see what I can find out for you.”

His ears were suddenly filled with a horribly familiar melody as he was placed on hold. It was clearly ACDC’s Back in Black but the heavy beats had been replaced by the screech of a violin and sweet melody of a piano. Perfectly acceptable music to be on hold to and so very obviously Stark’s influence. 

“Hello, are you still there?” Loki confirmed that he was. “Great. I am to patch you through to someone who will be able to help you.”

Was it just him or could he sense her grin through the phone? It didn’t matter because the line cut out as his call was transferred. It only rang for two beats this time before the receiver was picked up.

“Stark Industries. The most generous and handsome man speaking, how may I assist you today?”

So that was why the woman had been so pleased to patch his call through. 

“Is no one in your offices capable of answering a simple question?”

“Hey now, that’s my staff you’re criticising,” Tony chastised but Loki could tell he was amused.

“Why haven’t you signed my papers?” Straight down to business.

“I have signed your papers, Mr Odinson.” If Loki insisted on being boring at least Tony was going to have some fun. “Maybe if you didn’t avoid calling me directly you would have had them back in your pretty palms, bound in the most expensive card I could convince Pepper to buy and on their way to your lawyers.”

Loki sighed, irritated. “Stark,” he said warningly.

“I will have them ready at the front desk for you to pick up in an hour.”

“Thank you.”

“If you do ever feel like letting your hair down a bit you know where I am. Office work can be seriously dull.”

“Good bye, Tony,” Loki said.

“Smile, Loki. I promise it won’t kill you.” And with that he hung up.

Loki had always known Tony was infuriating. Hell, it had been one of his annoyingly endearing traits that had attracted him to the man initially. Now it was anything but and yet as he put down his phone, he couldn’t help the smile creeping onto his lips. Tony was right, he should definitely be smiling. Everything was really starting to fall into place and besides the incessant flirtation which Loki could easily ignore, their new partnership was working out rather well.

He half expected Tony to be waiting for him in the lobby when he arrived to collect the papers but surprisingly the hall was deserted. The collection was handled in a matter of moments. All he had to do was confirm his name and date of birth, flash his ID and then the receptionist disappeared into a back room where they were being safely stored until his arrival. 

Those invisible projections that Loki still couldn’t understand filled up much of the glass surrounding him causing the windows to take on a translucent sheen that allowed him to just glimpse the shapes of people passing by. He glanced up at one as he waited for the receptionist to return. There was Tony in the middle of what looked like a very important meeting. 

Every participant at the table was dressed in a crisp suit or smart dress. Tony was sat at the head of the table and was clearly lost in some longwinded speech that had the others eating out of his palm. All except one, the strawberry blonde woman to his left who tapped away on a tablet with a passive expression on her face. Pepper Potts was as beautiful as ever, far more so than Loki ever remembered her from school. She held herself with grace, her hair tied back in a simple yet elegant ponytail. 

“Your papers, Mr Odinson.”

The voice jolted Loki back to himself and he took the folders hurriedly, thanking the receptionist before he turned and walked swiftly out of the building. It was an odd sensation being faced with so much history in one go and however much he tried to convince himself that he wasn’t at all bothered by it, he couldn’t shake the sense of foreboding that followed him out of the glass doors and into the thick air of Manhattan beyond.

“Did you see him?” Loki could barely get through the office door without being bombarded.

“No, I didn’t see him. He was in a meeting.”

“I think we should invite him over,” Volstagg said, taking the papers that Loki offered him. 

“And why would we do that?”

“Because it is polite,” Sif chimed in. “It would be great for our image too. There is going to be a press release about Stark Industries’ investment anyway so why not take advantage?”

“I suppose so,” Loki agreed reluctantly. 

He went straight to their little kitchen and boiled the kettle. For himself a mint tea, Volstagg a coffee with plenty of milk and sugar, Sif a black coffee with two sugars, Hogun a builder’s tea, and for Fandral, well he was shockingly absent. 

“Where is Fandral?” Loki asked. He had wondered why it had been suspiciously quiet when he had returned. 

“Something about lunch, a Subway, meatballs, and then I think he mentioned stamps? Honestly after he was going on for five minutes I just told him to get out before I threw him out.” Sif shook her head. 

Steaming mug of tea in hand and with his colleagues equally satisfied, it was time to get back down to business. “Those papers can be sent straight to the lawyers this afternoon. Have you made much progress on other investors?”

“We have been in contact again with a few. A couple seem genuinely interested and want to arrange meetings but a few were big fat nos. Hopefully the press release will help that situation though, I mean if such a huge company is willing to back us then that is a massive incentive for others to get involved.”

There was a crash at the door and they all looked up to see Fandral bounce through, a bag from Subway in one hand and a wooden box in the other. They all stared at him as he stepped into the room, careful not to bump into any desks or knock any paperwork over. A far cry from his spectacularly ungraceful entrance mere moments before. 

“Good afternoon gentleman, lady,” he imitated a bow at them each in turn. “I bought you all cookies.”

“You think we will forgive your tardiness through your generous gift giving that is clearly intended as a bribe so that we won’t be angry with you,” Loki said, rolling his eyes.

“Naturally,” Fandral grinned. “And because I knew you wouldn’t be won over by sweet treats I bought you your own present.” His fingers quivered with excitement as he handed over the box. 

Loki glanced at him briefly before he took the offering and slipped open the clasp. Inside was filled with white tissue paper. Pushing it gently out of the way, he uncovered a beautifully carved piece of wood. He took it out of the box and examined the piece in his hand. 

“I figured we need to look professional and what says professional more than a stamp carved with our logo. There is an ink pad at the bottom. Also, I know you love old things so I thought what could be better than letting you personally stamp our logo onto documents and papers. What do you think?”

Fandral really was a charmer. It was a shame it hadn’t worked out between them. 

“It’s wonderful, thank you.” He really meant it.

The others were all busying themselves with the discarded bag of cookies making far more noise than necessary. Most likely to drown out the somewhat sentimental and wholly awkward exchange between Fandral and himself. Still he appreciated the gift even if other motives were carefully woven within the man’s professional explanation. 

“Hey,” Volstagg called, his mouth full of half chewed cookie. “How do you feel about inviting Tony Stark here to see our offices?”

“Great idea,” Fandral replied, turning away from Loki and stretching out on his desk chair. “I’ve always wanted to meet a certified genius in person.”

“So, this is happening?” Loki clarified.

“Make the call,” Sif confirmed.

He was thankful that his desk was set the furthest away from the others. Mostly because all the filing needed to live somewhere and that somewhere happened to be in all the cupboards surrounding his desk. No one else could bear to work in the claustrophobic corner but Loki didn’t seem to mind. In this moment he was grateful for the relative privacy as he clicked the call button next to Tony’s name. 

It was no surprise to Loki that he agreed to the proposal immediately. Maybe he really needed to stop being so sceptical about Tony’s motivations because he seemed genuinely interested and invested in the project far past the simple act of providing funds. Tony had always been overzealous and unpredictable and now he was coming to the office in two days’ time to see the office space and meet the rest of the team. They really needed to get some cleaning done.

With a heavy heart Loki returned home to his flat that night knowing that he couldn’t keep his new partnership hidden from Darcy any longer, or Thor and Natasha for that matter. He wondered briefly whether Tony had already informed Clint. But that couldn’t be the case because Clint could not keep his mouth shut and if Natasha knew she would already be banging on his door demanding answers. 

The heavy aroma of Italian food reached his nostrils as he locked the door behind himself. The gentle bubbling of a saucepan was audible from the living room and two glasses of wine were already prepared on the table. 

“I figured we should celebrate your success,” Darcy said, striding back into the room, damp hair clinging to her smiling face. “One investor in the bag and I have been looking for an excuse to open this bottle for ages.”

How he had managed to get this far without revealing who the investor was was a mystery to Loki. Still he gladly accepted to wine and settled himself at the table as Darcy dished up the spaghetti and meatballs. 

“I need to tell you something.”

“That’s horribly ominous. Could you at least let me finish my wine first to lessen the blow?” Her tone was teasing.

“It is about the investor,” Loki began as she took a sip from her glass. “It is Tony Stark.”

Darcy choked. Coughing and spluttering, she drank more wine in an attempt to sooth the sudden irritation, not having had the foresight to place a glass of water on the table as well. 

“What?” she managed, voice strained.

“It’s fine. Honestly, it is great to have such a renowned investor and-”

“Loki,” she whined, extending the ‘I’ far longer than necessary.

“It is just business,” he assured her.

“Nothing is ever just business when you used to fuck the person you are doing business with.” Loki stared at her and she shrugged. Returning to her spaghetti, she popped an entire meatball in her mouth before saying, “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“I really do. It’ll all be fine.”

“And if not, angry sex with an ex is usually fantastic.”

“Darcy!”

She winked at him and downed the rest of her wine.

That could have gone a lot worse. One down, two to go.

******

Clint lounged on the sofa, one leg dangling over the arm and his other foot brushing against the floor as he tapped away on his phone. His head rested in Natasha’s lap beside the very sizable bump stretching against the fabric of her shirt. It was exactly one month until her due date. Her fingers carded through Clint’s hair and the other hand stroked gentle circles around her belly. 

Their tranquillity was interrupted by the sudden vibration of Clint’s phone. He sat up so fast he almost flipped himself off the sofa onto the floor. Natasha snorted as he struggled to stay upright.

“It’s Tony,” he said, mouth agape.

“Answer it,” Natasha insisted.

“But he hasn’t called me in months.”

“And you haven’t called him either,” she rolled her eyes. “What’s your point?”

At that moment Natasha’s phone came alive, vibrating in time with Clint’s from where it rested on the arm of the sofa. 

“It’s Loki,” she said, surprised. She pressed the green button floating in the centre of her screen and dragged it upwards. “Hello,” she said, a smile immediately forming on her lips.

“What is going on?” Clint mouthed, ignoring his numb hand from where his phone continued to vibrate. 

Natasha gestured furiously for him to answer the call, her glare murderous even as she adopted her sweetest tone for one of her oldest friends. Clint turned back to the name still showing on his screen and finally tapped to answer it. 

“Hey, how’s it going?”

Everyone drifts after they leave high school. Clint was sure that was just how things were supposed to be. So it hadn’t been too much of a shock when Tony started to slip away from him as they started their first year at separate universities. Tony also had a boyfriend who was living on the other side of the country to him and that definitely couldn’t have been easy. Natasha and he had been just over an hour’s drive from each other which made the whole distance thing infinitely easier. 

Tony and he had still texted often and called when they could. Both made new friends and that was okay too. Especially because at the end of the day they always had each other. Something had changed, though, when they moved into their final year of study. Perhaps it was the breakdown of Tony and Loki’s relationship and the close friendship between Natasha and Loki made him feel he needed to distance himself from Clint too. Maybe it was the ever-growing pressure at the prospect of taking over his father’s company. To this day Clint didn’t know the reason. 

After graduation Tony seemed to disappear off the map and yet he was magnified in the public eye. Photographed and obsessed over in every magazine and newspaper but the calls and texts stopped entirely. Then everything fell apart. Clint still remembered reading the first headline at two o’clock in the morning that his best friend from school had been kidnapped. Those months had blurred into obsessive scouring of the internet for any news at all and sleepless nights hoping and praying that at any moment he would be discovered safe and unhurt with one of his shit-eating grins firmly fixed on his face.

Since Afghanistan things had never returned to how they were. It was weeks after he came home before Clint heard a word from Tony himself. It was over a year before they saw each other in person. And it was a rarity these days for Clint to receive a call from him at all, yet as soon as they were both on the line together it was as though no time had passed and there was no distance between them at all. Like they still lived streets away from each other in the suburbs, bitching about their history homework. 

“Fabulous as ever,” Tony said cheerfully. “So, you know you’re like Rhodey to me. A second Rhodey, basically family. Except you are the less responsible version and always encourage me to do stupid things.”

“I can’t say that’s entirely true,” Clint replied, letting himself out of the patio door into the dark garden. He shivered as the night air touched the exposed skin on his arms. 

“One hundred percent is,” Tony countered. “Anyway, get ready to learn my newest stupid decision.”

“I am on the very edge of my seat,” he said sarcastically, pacing around the wooden table and set of chairs. “Get it over with, you are far too dramatic for your own good.”

“I like to build the suspense.”

“Consider the suspense built now just tell me.”

Tony took and breath then spoke in a rush, not pausing once to draw in any more air. “Loki and I had dinner and he told me about his organisation and I said I would invest and he said no so I said pitch to me and he said okay and he pitched to me and I offered to invest again and he said are you just doing this because of our history and I said no and he accepted my investment and now we are sorta very much working together.”

The silence that followed his proclamation was broken by a low whistle from Clint. “Still not the stupidest thing you have ever done.”

“Really?” Clint couldn’t help but laugh at the genuine surprise in his friend’s tone. 

“Yeah, I mean if you had slept with him and then he had accepted your offer then maybe. But then again, I still think I would be judging Loki more than you. The man has class that you just don’t have so to do something like that would ruin his image completely.”

“I’m classy!” Tony insisted. “I’m a billionaire.”

“Money can’t buy everything,” he snorted. “So, what happens now?”

“I’ve just been invited to his office on Thursday to meet his colleagues. All fine but there is this one guy, he’s called Fandral and-”

His next words were drowned out by a long groan from Clint. 

“I am going to stop you right there. I really don’t think Loki wants any input from you in his life except in a purely professional manner.”

“But-”

“No buts,” Clint said firmly. “He will eat you alive.” 

“You know I don’t even think I would mind, have you seen how good he looks? I thought puberty was kind to him but his twenties have been exceptionally giving.”

“I actually cannot listen to this. It is like I am back in high school again and you’re crying over him because you thought he was with ‘Tasha.”

“Says you who was also moping after we saw them at that café.”

They were both laughing now. Clint wiped his eye and glanced back towards the patio doors where the light from the living room was shining through. He could see Natasha sitting on the sofa with her phone glued to her ear, her expression reminiscent of his own a few minutes ago. Clearly, she was having a very similar conversation. For half a second, he considered telling Tony that Loki had called Natasha at the same moment he had phoned but on second thoughts that was a recipe for disaster. 

“Informing you about Stark Industries’ surprise investment of Yggdrasil?” Clint said as he returned to the warmth of the living room. He nodded to Natasha’s phone where it now lay on the cushion beside her. 

“Really throws a spanner in the works for our godfather plans,” she nodded.

Clint flopped down beside her, taking her hand in his. “Or maybe it is the perfect plan. We snuff it and they take over as sole carers of the baby. Give is a couple of months and they will be back to together. Happily ever after.”

“Except we would be dead in this scenario of happily ever after.”

“True,” Clint conceded. “Well we already know this can only go one of two ways. Crash and burn or kiss and make up. Fifty bucks they’re at it by Christmas.”

“Double or nothing they are by Thanksgiving.”

“Deal,” he said, shaking Natasha’s offered hand.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy November! The final conversation in this chapter is one of the initial moments I came up with that inspired me to return to write this sequel so I really hope you enjoy this update. As ever thank you for all your support, it means the world x

The press release was scheduled for the following Monday after Tony’s visit to Yggdrasil’s offices which made perfect sense. Excellent photo opportunity and at least he would be able to see for himself exactly what he was getting into before it went public. Pepper was being a gem as ever, inviting the more trustworthy journalists and explicitly banning those not welcome. Tony had had enough run ins with New York’s tabloids to know which columns could be trusted and which to avoid like the plague.

“I know you don’t think this is a good idea but you could at least attempt to hide it from your face,” he said to her as he adjusted his tie in the mirror of his bathroom.

“I think it is an amazing idea if it didn’t involve you and your ex-boyfriend,” Pepper replied. “Come here.” He turned towards her and she stepped into the room, swatting his hands away from where they were still fiddling with the fabric around his neck. She untied and retied the tie, flattening it against his chest before adjusting his collar. “I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”

“No one is going to get hurt, Pep,” Tony assured her, admiring his appearance in the mirror once again.

“But Loki doesn’t know the truth,” Pepper began, heart thudding as Tony braced his hands on either side of the sink. She could see his knuckles tighten as she continued. “You can’t expect to work together and not have your past come up. Don’t you think after all this time he deserves an explanation.”

“The past is the past,” he said eventually, eyes closed now against his reflection glaring back at him in the mirror. “I don’t want to hurt him anymore.”

“It’s your call. I just think he has a right to know and maybe it’ll give you the closure you need.”

“I don’t need any closure,” Tony snapped. “This is a business investment to support an organisation I believe in. Nothing more.”

“Okay,” Pepper sighed. She placed a tentative hand on Tony’s tense shoulder as his arms continued to frame the sink, knuckles now white from his tight grip on the porcelain. “Happy will be outside with the car in ten minutes. Let me know how it goes.”

With a final pat on his shoulder and a peck to his cheek, she left him alone in the bathroom. 

Fifteen minutes later he was in the car with Happy and heading towards Loki’s offices. His head was full of Pepper’s words urging him to tell the truth. Reluctant though he was to admit it, he knew she was right. Why did she always have to be right? 

Little did he know that a few miles away Loki was in much the same situation as he, mulling over similar warnings he had just received from Thor. Why could no one let the past lie? But as Loki thought over his adoptive brother’s words, the more he realised just how sensible his suggestions were.

“I want this to work out for you, Loki, more than anything. You deserve it. But I don’t think it will work with that conversation hanging over you.” He had tried to argue against Thor but to no avail. His protests were swiftly interrupted. “You don’t want to go into this with any bad blood and don’t you still have questions about what happened?”

“I suppose so,” Loki admitted bitterly. 

He was still too much of a coward to admit the part he played in their breakup. His stomach gave a jolt at the thought of having to bring up that memory again, the one he had strived to bury for so long. The one that had weighed on him so heavily in those months that Tony was missing, captured and bound in a country half way across the world. Even though they hadn’t spoken in almost a year it hadn’t made it any easier. Deep down some part of him was still convinced it had been all his fault. 

Now he tapped his foot absently against the cool laminate floor as they awaited Tony’s arrival. A very select group of journalists had congregated outside ready to greet the billionaire, enough to raise some interest from passers-by but not too many to encourage them to stick around for the show. It wasn’t that Loki didn’t like having his photo taken or being the centre of attention, on the contrary. It was more that he never expected to share this moment with Tony. They hadn’t been together quite long enough for the Press to get wind of their relationship. Not until the man graduated and took over as CEO of Stark Industries did the tabloids jump on him as the newest eligible bachelor on the scene and the latest victim to become cannon fodder for the headlines. 

The cameras started to flash and an excited murmur went around the room between his colleagues as a flash black car pulled up outside. A well-built man with thick shoulders stepped out of the driver’s side and opened the passenger’s door. Tony stepped out in one fluid movement, a pair of dark square glasses balanced on his nose and a grin firmly in place as he stepped comfortably in front of the flashing cameras. Loki’s stomach clenched uncomfortably as Tony took off the glasses and their eyes met through the window. He liked to think he managed a smile before the look was broken. 

Sif and Volstagg rushed to the door in time to pull it open for Tony and welcome him inside. Remembering the text he had sent the night before, Loki stepped up and welcomed him with the friendliest, most sincere smile he could muster. 

_My colleagues think we are old school friends. Please play along tomorrow._

The reply had been instant. 

_Don’t worry I am an excellent actor._

“Good to see you again, Loki,” Tony said, shaking his hand enthusiastically whilst shooting him a look that clearly said _see, I am amazing_. It took Loki an incredible amount of willpower not to roll his eyes.

“This is Sif,” Loki introduced as Tony shook each hand in turn. “Volstagg, Hogun, and Fandral.”

His brain was working far too fast to pick up on how much shorter Fandral’s handshake was in comparison to the others. He let the others lead the way on the tour around the building. They were acting like Tony was a shiny new toy they had finally been given permission to play with and Loki couldn’t bring himself to deny their joy. 

Tony seemed mostly engaged with Sif which hardly came as a surprise. She was beautiful, charismatic, fiercely intelligent and unabashedly herself. Loki could already read the headlines in his head as the pair continued their conversation. 

“How did you get involved with the project?”

“Loki and I were in a couple of modules together at university. There was a heated debate in one seminar which led to him giving this amazing speech, completely improvised, defending low-income families and criticising our society for creating a system that perpetuates poverty. It was so impressive. The guy he spoke up against didn’t even know where to look afterwards. I caught up with him afterwards to say well done and we got talking. A couple of late-night drinking sessions and hungover breakfasts later and the initial idea for Yggdrasil was born.”

Tony glanced over to Loki who was filling the kettle in the nearby kitchen. Though the man put on a good show of being busy, Tony could tell by his stiff spine and the angle of his neck that he was listening to every word Sif said. 

“Very impressive,” he commented, ensuring his voice was loud enough to carry. “He was like that in high school too. Very passionate, always ready for an argument.”

“I can imagine,” Sif laughed. 

“Coffee,” Loki said, interrupting their conversation and shoving the mug towards Tony who accepted it with a grin.

He was loath to see Sif and Tony share a look before he took an initial sip. Though this was the best-case scenario coming together in front of him, he couldn’t help hesitate as Thor’s words echoed back to him over and over again. Wasn’t there a saying about dumb blondes? Sadly, Thor was really proving that that stereotype didn’t apply.

“So, talk to me,” Tony began, settling himself on the edge of Volstagg’s desk. “Where do you go from here. What’s the plan of action? How’s my money going to be spent?” 

It was frustrating how unbelievably comfortable he was in a space he had never entered before. Damn his retched confidence that only served to put Loki more on edge than he already was. 

Fandral, stretched out on his own desk chair as always, swivelled round to face Tony. “I think first we are going to treat this one to a three-course meal with the most expensive bottle of champagne we can find.” He beamed up at Loki where he was leaning against his own desk. “A congratulations for not only having a very famous friend but for also convincing said friend to invest in our little project.” 

“In his defence, I didn’t take much convincing,” Tony piped up.

“Loki’s natural charms striking again I see.” And there were those perfectly white teeth shining his way again. Loki felt himself grow hot under the joint weight of Fandral’s and Tony’s stares.

“Something like that,” Tony replied slowly, his gaze moving from Loki’s face onto Fandral’s.

“To be serious for a moment, we intend to move to a bigger office space. Somewhere we can have separate rooms for each department we hope to open. Once we have the space secured we can begin expanding and hiring more staff. Your investment will go towards affording the rent and paying wages of those we are looking to hire. It will also help expand our advertisement campaign and provide us with enough money for the resources and transport so we can do more talks in schools.”

Silly when appropriate and serious when necessary, Sif was a lifesaver. 

“I have a couple of events scheduled in the coming months. Some formal, others informal but are still good places to network. If you are interested I can provide details and get you onto the guestlists.”

“That would be fantastic,” Volstagg said.

“Very kind of you, Mr Stark,” Hogun spoke for what seemed like the first time since he had arrived. 

Even Tony looked surprised. “Please just Tony,” he insisted.

“Tony,” Hogun nodded, managing a small smile.

The remainder of the tour took hardly any time at all. Their office space was small to begin with let alone with five desks squeezed in and endless filing cabinets. The whitewashed walls were hardly anything to be desired and the laminate flooring had certainly seen better days. Thankfully they were situated on a side street so little road noise penetrated the walls of their ground floor office. It wasn’t exactly comfortable but it did the job for them. 

Loki’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He slipped it out far enough to see a text from Darcy.

_I Just got thrown up on by a devil child. How’s your day going?_

He snorted with laughter. No matter how much Darcy complained about her job, he knew she absolutely adored all those children and would never be satisfied doing anything else. 

“Something funny?”

Loki jumped as Tony spoke close to his ear. He had managed to extricate himself from the others and drift over to Loki’s lonely desk at the back of the room. 

“My roommate,” he explained. “She isn’t having a good day.”

“Shame she doesn’t have a wonderful, charming, well-groomed celebrity to cheer her up. Speaking of which, how is your day going?”

“Funnily enough that is what she just asked.”

“And your answer?”

“Yet to be decided.”

Tony’s eyebrows raised causing wrinkles to appear on his forehead. “Would a drink change your mind?”

“By the sounds of it you owe me a three-course meal,” Loki quipped, green eyes meeting dark brown. 

“Don’t forget the champagne,” Tony smiled. “Do you all want to get a drink?” He called to the others.

No surprise they all jumped on the offer and soon enough they were all settled in a booth at a far too fancy cocktail bar that Loki hadn’t even known existed until this very moment. 

“Don’t you ever get sick of people fawning over you?” Sif asked as the waiter moved away from the table, leaving behind a golden bottle in a crystal bowl full of ice and six tall stemmed glasses.

On their way to the bar, Tony had been recognised countless times but thankfully it had been a short enough a walk to avoid too much of a commotion. Clearly, he was well known in this establishment because as soon as the group were through the door, curtains were pulled across all the windows and a burly security guard stepped up to the door where a gaggle of people were already trying to kid their way inside just to catch a glimpse of him.

“You get used to it,” he replied, popping the cork of the bottle and pouring a glass for them each in turn. Was it a coincidence that Fandral received his last and a significant few centimetres less in his glass than the others? Loki didn’t have the mental energy to dwell too hard on it.

By the looks of Fandral’s disgruntled look as he took a sip of the golden liquid, he definitely had noticed. Loki really had enough stress to deal with without these two trying to one up and get back at each other for reasons that he couldn’t even understand. Or perhaps he could understand perfectly and once again Thor’s words were coming back to him for about the fifth time that day and they were becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. 

With the curtains drawn the sole source of light was a beautiful chandelier that hung high above their heads casting long shadows across the floor. The circular booth provided even more privacy, a singular heavily shaded lamp placed in the very centre of the table. In the dim light Loki could hardly make out Tony’s expression from across the table. He had thought it was a good idea to keep a few bodies between them but now he was exactly opposite the man and couldn’t help meeting his eye every few minutes no matter how hard he tried to concentrate solely on his half full glass on the table before him.

Two bottles of champagne and a substantial amount of time later Hogun bade them all goodbye with a polite thank you to Tony before he headed towards the security guard and disappeared through the door. Next to leave were Sif and Volstagg, both jolly from the drink and ready for some fresh air. That left Loki alone with Tony and Fandral as an uncomfortable silence settled between them.

“Best friends from school. So, what happened?” Of course, Fandral would choose the very worst topic on Loki’s list of conversations he would rather avoid.

“Not best friends,” he corrected automatically, earning himself another unreadable glance from Tony.

“Just friends,” Fandral nodded, looking wholly unconvinced. He took a sip of his drink and placed the glass carefully back on the table. 

Tony made a gesture to the waiter and in a matter of seconds a double scotch was placed in front of him.

“Champagne isn’t my preference,” he said before draining the glass.

“More for us then,” Fandral said, taking up the bottle and emptying it between Loki’s glass and his own. “This fell out of your pocket earlier by the way. I didn’t want it to get lost.”

He felt his face get hot again as Fandral brought up the carved stamp from under the table and placed it in front of Loki. Before he could move Tony had already snatched it up and was examining it closely.

“You would have your logo etched into a stamp, wouldn’t you,” he chuckled. “Next it’ll be a wax seal.”

“Now there’s an idea,” Fandral said thoughtfully, taking a few sips of his champagne until the glass stood empty.

“It was a gift,” Loki said, taking it out of Tony’s hand. 

“Very thoughtful.”

Fandral seemed to expand with the compliment, overjoyed by the sarcastic touch in his tone. “Why, thank you,” he preened. 

Tony looked over to him and Loki wished the room was just a little brighter so he could see the expression on his face. Years ago, he would barely need to glace at the man and know exactly what he was thinking. They had been so in tune that Loki could pick up the slightest shift in his body language. But now, a metre apart across a table, he didn’t have a clue. He could feel a longing rising in his chest. To comfort, to understand, to escape. He couldn’t decide which. The afternoon was going nightmarishly wrong.

Another scotch appeared on the table and Loki wanted to leave. Thankfully Fandral had decided that he had made their time quite uncomfortable enough as he gathered himself together and made to stand.

“It was lovely to meet you, Tony. I look forward to working with you.” He stuck out his hand and Tony shook it. “And Loki, I’ll see you tomorrow. Bright and early.” He placed a hand on his shoulder, letting it linger slightly longer than necessary. Then he was gone.

Barely seconds passed after he disappeared out of the door before Tony opened his mouth.

“That Fandral guy, he seems-”

“Stop talking,” Loki interrupted automatically.

“I was just going to-”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“He just seems very friendly. That’s all.” Tony held up his hands in a placatory gesture.

“Just finish your drink so we can go.”

“If you want to go I am not going to stop you. I am more than mature enough to sit and have a drink by myself.” His tone was still playful but Loki picked up the slight hint of annoyance hidden within his words. “But if you insist on staying, I have a question.” Loki knew he was going to regret this. He should have left with Hogun. “Why bother to lie to your colleagues that we were friends in school when you deny it when they bring it up?”

“I didn’t deny it,” Loki sighed.

“I gather Fandral isn’t the smartest cookie in the jar but even he could tell that something more was going on when you practically shouted that we were just friends.”

“I didn’t shout,” he replied moodily. He fiddled with the stem of his glass, refusing to meet Tony’s gaze which he could feel was firmly fixed on his face. “And I wasn’t lying. We were friends at school.”

Tony burst out laughing. He clutched at his sides dramatically as he guffawed until he caught sight of Loki’s disapproving expression and sobered a little. Not enough to not comically wipe an invisible tear from the corner of his eye.

“Why can’t you just tell your colleagues the truth?”

“It would complicate matters too much,” Loki said curtly.

“So now I am just a complication,” Tony sighed dramatically.

“No. You’re just drunk.”

“What’s the deal with you and Fandral?” He asked, ignoring Loki’s comment. “He is so clearly into you it is almost painful to watch. Is he a complication too?”

“That’s enough,” Loki snapped, his temper getting the better of him.

“I’m only trying to be a _friend_ ,” Tony laid special emphasis on the word. “I’m trying to look out for you.”

That was it. Loki knew it was coming. All day he could feel the anxiety and stress building up inside him and now he was ready to explode. How dare Stark waltz into his life, offer to support his career and then have the audacity to comment on his personal life. How dare he make comments and laugh at Loki for trying to set some professional boundaries between them. Thor had been right, he needed to talk about this no matter how uncomfortable it would be. Right now, Loki didn’t care how it would reflect on him, bringing up one of his most painful and shameful memories. He was sick of Stark sitting on his high horse, flirting with the past yet having no intention to deal with it.

“I don’t need you looking out for me,” he spat, eyes flashing as he glared at Tony. “You forfeited any right to say anything about my relationships and my life the night you turned up at my dorms and told me you didn’t love me anymore.”

That wiped Tony’s smug smile off his face. He seemed to shrink in on himself, his crisp suit suddenly looking too big for him as he leant backwards away from the smooth surface of the table.

“Loki, I don’t want to talk about this.”

The use of his first name so easily, so casually only served to infuriate Loki even more. Perhaps the alcohol pumping through his veins wasn’t helping either but, in the moment, it didn’t matter. He was livid with the man in front of him and wanted him to hurt. Hurt like Loki’s heart had been doing ever since that night and ache like it had since Tony rounded the corner at his mother’s funeral and interrupted his life again. 

“You broke my heart and you sit there smirking and making jokes about a man who you know nothing about. So what if Fandral likes me? So what if I like him too? So what if we go on dates and kiss and fuck? It hasn’t got a damn thing to do with you, Stark.”

He must have touched a nerve because when Tony spoke this time his voice was shaking.

“You broke my heart too.”

“But I didn’t break up with you.”

“No, you just cheated on me instead.” 

Loki recoiled as though he had been slapped. There it was. The truth he had been so desperate to avoid for so long was finally back to haunt him.

“It was one kiss,” he said weakly, his hand shaking against the stem of the long empty glass in front of him.

“It’s still cheating,” Tony all but shouted. Thankfully the bar was largely unoccupied and the closed walls around their booth prevented his voice carrying too far. 

“Maybe I wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t been so emotionally unavailable,” Loki retorted, determined not admit defeat. “You barely spoke to me those last few months before you ended it. For all I knew you had someone on the side keeping your attention because I know for a fact I wasn’t the centre of it.”

“That’s not true,” Tony whispered. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“How would I know? As soon as you left I never heard from you again. All I got was my stuff returned to me in a box through the mail a couple of weeks later. Not even a note inside. Not that it matters anymore, what’s done is done, but by the looks of it you are still as selfish and arrogant as you were back then.”

At that Tony got to his feet, his expression set and his posture resolute. Without another word or a single glance back, he walked out of the bar, leaving Loki alone in the booth surrounded by empty glasses.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick CW: this chapter begins with details of a panic attack. If you want to avoid that then skip down to the line beginning "He rested his forehead against the glass as they drove slowly towards Stark Tower"

He couldn’t breathe. There wasn’t enough air in the atmosphere to satisfy his aching lungs. Tony gasped for breath over and over again, his heart racing in his chest as he emerged into the fading daylight of the city. 

Thankfully the rumours that he was inside the bar had died away and no one was waiting to ambush him outside. He headed down the street before ducking into a side alleyway, fumbling for his phone in his pocket. 

“Happy, come pick me up,” he managed to say into the phone. His shaking hands got the better of him and the device clattered onto the pavement before he could hear the man’s reply.

Being the genius he was he had built in an effective panic button to his watch. As he stooped to pick up his phone, he tapped the glass surface on his wrist twice, sending off his exact location to Happy’s satnav. It wouldn’t be too long before he located Tony and he could finally escape the oppressive alleyway he was residing in.

He wrenched at the tie around his neck, tugging it over his head and throwing it away. His breathing was still erratic and his vision started to blur as he sank to the floor. With his hands pressed against the cool concrete, he felt more grounded. His chest continued to constrict almost painfully and his lungs felt empty. He panted with the effort of drawing in enough air to satiate their desperate need for more. 

A hand touched his shoulder and he jumped wildly even from where he was kneeled on the pavement. There was Happy staring down at him with great concern. His lips were moving but Tony couldn’t understand what he was saying. The traffic noise from the next street sounded so far away. All he could hear was a high-pitched buzzing. 

“Tony, you’re having a panic attack. I need you to listen to me. Focus on my voice.”

None the words made sense. It was all just muffled sounds and the air was too close and thick and Tony wanted to not be here anymore but his legs refused to support his weight.

“Tony, look at me. Try to focus on me,” Happy said, moving his hands towards Tony to get his attention but not close enough to make him withdraw any further.

Finally, his words started to get through to him. Tony followed Happy’s actions, breathing in as the other man did and exhaling after a few seconds. Very slowly the pain in his chest started to ease and the sounds of the city returned to him. He was shivering from his position on the cold stone and he allowed Happy to help him up and stumble into the car where he collapsed into the back seat.

“Back to the tower?”

“Please,” Tony managed weakly. 

He rested his forehead against the glass as they drove slowly towards Stark Tower, unfortunate victims to the evening rush hour in the city. His breathing was normal now but he was left feeling exhausted. 

“What happened?” Pepper demanded as soon as the elevator opened up into the living room of the penthouse.

“Nothing,” Tony replied, immediately pouring himself a whisky from the bar.

“Because you normally send out a distress signal when you’re having a casual drink. What happened?”

“Panic attack,” he mumbled, shuffling off towards his bedroom with a half-full tumbler in his hand, the click of Pepper’s heals following close behind. “I’m fine.”

“Tony,” she protested.

“I’m fine, Pep,” he said firmly. “I just need some sleep.”

They both stopped outside of his bedroom, Pepper staring at him with great concern and Tony faking a smile. 

“I’ll be back in the morning,” she said eventually. “Call me if you need anything.”

Tony nodded and shut the door of his room behind himself. He mustered enough energy to strip out of his shirt and trousers, his tie forgotten in the alleyway as they had left, and collapsed under the covers. 

It was pitch black in the room when he awoke some hours later. Fumbling in the dark he located his watch and discovered that it was ten past three in the morning. Still feeling exhausted but knowing he would never get back to sleep now that he was awake, he shuffled towards the kitchen and prepared himself a cup of coffee.

Some minutes later, with the steaming cup and the wonderful aroma of fresh coffee filling his nostrils, the memories of the day before finally started to come back to him. He sank onto one of the stools surrounding his kitchen island and stared out of the huge expanse of glass that made up one wall of his penthouse at the shining lights of the city below. 

Loki had been right. He had been a complete prick. He would like to blame the alcohol but he had been drinking long enough to know a glass or two of champagne and a few double scotches were not enough to finish him off or push him over the edge into completely irresponsible behaviour. The way that Fandral acted around Loki got under his skin, he couldn’t explain why. He was convinced it wasn’t jealousy. He had been convinced anyway. But knowing now how Loki felt about their breakup, how strongly he resented Tony, he couldn’t help but wonder whether it was jealousy after all. It was ridiculous. Completely uncalled for. Yet it fitted perfectly in the mess of a puzzle that was his life.

It wasn’t jealousy at Fandral for clearly having feelings for Loki, nor was it the realisation so much that there was either some history between them or some well buried feelings that Loki was hiding. More jealousy of Fandral’s position in Loki’s life. Clearly a great colleague, a trusted friend, able to joke and laugh and treat him the way he should be treated. Everything that Tony forfeited that night all those years ago. 

Regret crept into his chest as he thought back to the look on Loki’s face last night as he mentioned the kiss. Tony had thrown it in his face because the man’s words had triggered something in him that he had convinced himself he was no longer repressing. He forced his eyes to remain open as images of a cold, dark cave flashed back to him, threatening to overwhelm his senses. His heart beat rapidly against his ribcage and he rubbed a hand roughly over his chest where the jagged scar still remained. 

Pepper was right, Loki deserved the truth. He just wasn’t sure he was ready to give it yet. But he could give something, a piece of the truth. And an apology. 

******

Sunday was the one day a week that Loki kept totally free from work. He liked the freedom of having a day to himself to get up when he wanted, eat whenever he liked, go wherever he wanted, and only speak to people he actually wanted to talk to. 

As he shuffled around the kitchen, pouring cereal into a bowl and adding milk, he thought again of Tony. His mind had wandered onto the man a lot since his dramatic exit a few days before. Loki could understand that he had probably touched a nerve but the Stark he remembered would never walk out on confrontation. Hell, he thrived on awkward conversations. So Loki could not work out what had happened to make him get up and walk. A strong urge had gripped him a few times to bite the bullet and text Tony asking what was wrong, at one point he was very close to phoning him. But something at the last minute always pulled him back. Either Darcy’s intervention, the tug of work, or his own apprehension of actually getting the answers he sought.

Now it was Sunday. Rest day. No more thoughts of work absolutely meant no more thoughts of Tony Stark either and with some effort he managed to force his brain onto happier things, like flopping down on the couch with his breakfast and a new book he had been dying to start. Stretched out in a pair of tapered black sweats and a comfortable royal green pullover, he took a bite of his breakfast and savoured the peace before Darcy bounded back through the door in a couple of hours.

A knock at the door half an hour later disturbed his tranquillity. Assuming it was another delivery for Darcy who, despite being on a teacher’s salary, could apparently afford to treat herself every day of the week, he finished the page he was reading before getting up and unlocking the door.

“Hi,” Tony said, shifting from foot to foot.

“Hello,” Loki said, hiding his surprise well.

“I need to talk to you. Mind if I come in?”

Loki stepped back and Tony followed him in, glancing round the room as he did so. In attempt to stop his rising anxiety that genius, playboy and ex-boyfriend Tony Stark was standing in his living room, Loki headed to the kitchen to boil the kettle. 

“Should I bother to ask how you know where I live?” he called, adding a spoonful of coffee to each mug. 

“Probably not,” Tony said, appearing in the doorway behind him. 

And there was the charming smirk that Loki was so used to. He noted how quickly it vanished as soon as Tony broke eye contact and turned back towards the cramped living room. His eyes were surrounded by dark shadows and as he took the mug that Loki offered him, his hands shook. Clearly something was the matter. Enough to drag him out of his ivory tower on a Sunday and bother Loki in his own flat. 

“What did you want to say?”

Tony didn’t answer immediately. He continued to stare around the room in front of him, taking in every aspect from the warn navy blue couch, the lack of a television, and the extensive piles of books in one corner of the room.

“Have you considered shelves?” Tony asked, picking up the volume on top of one of the teetering piles and flicking through its pages.

“You didn’t come all the way here to give me decorating tips.”

“I’m just thinking a couple of shelves round the walls would really open the room up, clear this space on the floor and then you could actually get a TV, which is a point, why don’t you have a TV?”

“Waste of money,” Loki replied shortly, unwilling to indulge the man any further.

“Really? Because I-”

“What is it you wanted to say, Tony?” he interrupted.

The sound of his first name seemed to jar Tony back to himself and he immediately lost all the confidence he had been exhibiting mere seconds before. The guilt that Loki had been repressing set in again as he watched him settle himself carefully on the edge of the couch. He crossed his legs but it did nothing to hide the restless bounce of his foot against the carpet. Something was definitely wrong and Loki was starting to realise that he was definitely, at least partly, responsible.

“I want to apologise,” Tony said eventually, forcing his eyes up to make eye contact with Loki.

“Good,” he replied briskly, taking a seat at the other end of the couch and turning to face him. “Because so do I.” Tony stared at him in bewilderment. “But you speak first.”

“Okay,” Tony said, surprise still written on his face. “Well, I just think, we can’t work together with _this_ hanging over us and I want this to work out. For both our sakes.”

“And by _this_ you mean…”

“I mean the entirely uncomfortable, horribly painful, anxiety-inducing conversation about the whats, hows and whys of our breakup.” 

Loki nodded. At least they were on the same page. Positive start.

“I know you have a problem keeping your mouth shut especially when it comes to your opinions but I need you to let me speak first and then you can scream, shout, punch me in the face or kick me out, whatever you feel like doing.”

Irritated by the accusation, even more so by the fact that it was a hundred percent accurate, Loki deliberately kept his mouth shut and nodded again.

“First, I want to begin by saying I was an idiot, both on Thursday and ten years ago. I am pretty sure I have been an idiot since the day I was born looking at the evidence I have now but I want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for coming back into your life at the worst time imaginable and then agreeing to work with you, although that one is half your fault too, and I’m sorry for acting like a dick about Fandral. You’re right, I don’t have a right to talk about your personal life even if I do think that guy is majorly sucking up to you in a painfully obvious way.” At a glare from Loki he immediately changed tack. “But of course, that is your business to sort out and if you want to date him then you can and if you want to punch him in the face and give him the finger, you will also have my full support.”

Reluctantly, Loki let a smile curl on his lips. “I think buried somewhere in there was an apology and I definitely agree with you on being an idiot since you were born. That one is self-evident.”

Tony seemed to relax a little then, sensing the tension in the room ease at Loki’s more casual tone and the expression on his face.

“I’m sorry for thinking I could work with you without the past coming up. I thought I was over it but seeing you again has made me realise there are definitely some things we need to work through and answers I need before we can move on. And, though I do not owe you an explanation at all, Fandral and I did date but I ended things. This was almost a year ago now and we have remained good friends. I believe he wants something more but that is something I cannot give him.”

“Why not?”

“Irrelevant,” Loki shot him a look that discouraged him from pursuing that line of enquiry. Loki sighed then and a serious expression once again took over his face. He straightened his spine and turned to meet Tony’s gaze. Releasing a heavy sigh, he said, “But we are still skirting around the real issue here.” Tony nodded, eyes fixed on Loki’s face as the other continued to speak softly. “Why did you leave?”

“I panicked,” Tony said immediately. “I don’t like thinking about that part of my past very much, not about you or…or what happened.” 

“No,” Loki whispered, eyes closed now. “Why did you leave _me_? Ten years ago.”

The air thickened as he spoke and Tony shifted uncomfortably beside him. 

“Loki-”

“Because all this time I have been convinced you didn’t love me anymore and I convinced myself I was okay with that. I have blamed myself all this time thinking it was because of that one stupid kiss and I need to know, am I right? Am I? Did you leave because you didn’t love me anymore?”

******

No one should look that good in casual sweats, Tony thought as Loki opened the door. It would be maddeningly off-putting as he tried to initiate the most uncomfortable conversation he had had in years. But then again, he couldn’t exactly ask him to go and change. That would definitely make the situation much worse. Still, if this was the last time he was ever allowed in Loki’s presence at least he would be left with a nice mental image to soften the blow.

Now he was at the most painful bit of all and he knew he needed to find the words to explain. He owed Loki the truth as the man sat before him attempting to hide the tears welling in his eyes and the definite shake in his voice. But as he opened his mouth to finally speak the words he had only told one other person in the world, he bottled it.

“You aren’t to blame, Loki. And you are not right. I was still hopelessly in love with you before you kissed that guy and afterwards too. I loved you even as I knocked on your door and broke up with you.” He paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. “It hurt when you told me what happened but you’re right too that I had been distant and uncaring. It was stress keeping me away from you and that’s the reason why I ended it.”

“But why?” Loki asked desperately. “You were passing every exam with a hundred and ten percent.”

“Stress at life after uni. The pressure of taking over my father’s business, not even being sure that was what I wanted to do. The expectation for me to follow in his footsteps and all the privacy I would lose once I did.” He itched to take Loki’s hand in his but he held back. “I had no intention of breaking up with you when I came to visit. It was supposed to be a surprise for us to spend some time together. But as I saw your door I thought about that guy again and I thought how much better your life would be without me in it.”

“That wasn’t your choice to make,” Loki murmured, eyes fixed on a point just to the left of Tony’s thigh. “You should have talked to me.”

“Yeah I should’ve. World’s biggest idiot, remember?” 

Silence fell as they were both lost in thought. A half-truth was good enough. That is what Tony kept repeating to himself as his heart continued to hammer in his chest. He had believed Loki was better off without him but that wasn’t because of fame it was because of fear and Tony would have done anything humanly possible to protect the man he loved. Had loved, he corrected himself. 

“I thought you had gotten bored,” Loki began quietly. “That my aspirations were not high enough, my brain not smart enough, my inheritance non-existent and my connections limited.”

“Don’t be so stupid. Look at what you have achieved,” Tony said forcefully. “I hate that I missed out on this amazing project you have created. You. Your brain. Your wonderful damn brain inside that far too pretty skull.” 

Loki huffed a laugh and his lips curved into a little smile. “And you don’t hate me for what I did?”

“No, Loki, I have never hated you. I was angry, upset, heartbroken for a little while, but I never hated you. Hell, we have all made mistakes. You only need to switch on the News to see mine, maybe if you had a TV,” Tony laughed then quickly sobered. “Sometimes we have to face our demons.”

“And I’m yours?” 

“I’m the demon,” he smiled sadly. “You’re the one that got away.”

For once that was the whole truth and Tony believed every word that came out of his mouth. The fact that he was still unable to say exactly what happened just proved his point even more. He was a demon leaching on the positive lifeforce that was Loki. He had crept back into his life and was determined to stay. Maybe more like a parasite than a demon. Either way, he hated himself for indulging in the selfish pleasure of having Loki back in his life. 

Just has Tony started to be consumed by the negative thoughts taking hold of his brain, he was startled back to himself by the feel of Loki’s body against his. The man had shifted forward and pulled him into a hug. 

Loki spoke softly against the collar of his shirt. “It’s been far too long to still hold any grudges. Can we just start again, as friends?”

“I’d like that,” Tony grinned, bringing an arm up around his shoulders before Loki pulled away a few seconds later, a shy smile on his face. “And as my first act as your new friend, I have a surprise for you. Get in the car.” Frowning, Loki opened his mouth but Tony swiftly interrupted him. “Nope, don’t want to hear it. Get your butt outside.” 

“Can I at least change first?”

Reluctantly, Tony agreed. Only because he knew it would make matters extremely uncomfortable if he admitted how much the loungewear made his imagination run wild. As Loki disappeared out of sight, a key twisted in the lock and a mess of brown curls bounced through the door.

“Holy shit, Loki, there is the poshest car outside. Brand new plate and you should see the leather seating inside and –” Darcy’s mouth fell open as she spotted Tony beaming up at her.

“So, you like my car?” 

She continued to stare comically for a minute. When she spoke again her voice was unnaturally high. “Tony. Hi. Long time no see. Love the car, the interior is-” She pressed her thumb and forefinger together in the shape of an ‘o’. “You’re looking great. Is Loki here?”

“In the bedroom,” Tony said, placing a hand over his chin in an attempt to hide his grin. 

“In the…bedroom,” Darcy repeated, eyes darting from his casual position on the couch to the closed door of Loki’s bedroom and back again. “I’ll be right back.”

She hurried off down the short hallway and disappeared through the door Loki had gone through a few minutes before. There was a scuffle, a thump, and Darcy’s attempts at whispering that easily carried through the closed door to where Tony remained in the living room, thoroughly enjoying the entertainment. 

“Tony Stark is in our apartment.”

“Yes, I know.”

“How did I not know?”

“Because you were out.”

“You should have warned me.”

“I didn’t know you would be back so early.”

“If ever a famous ex turns up unexpectedly just assume you should always say.”

“Noted.”

“Why is he here?”

“I’ll explain later. Can I please finish getting changed?”

“Where are you going?”

“Tony has a surprise for me.”

“Take my pepper spray.”

“I’m not taking your pepper spray.”

There was another scuffle, a bang, then the door opened and Loki appeared, buttoning up a soft grey shirt that was tucked into a pair of black, slim fit jeans. Darcy followed him out with a disgruntled expression on her face, shoving a cylindrical shape into the back pocket of her own blue jeans. 

“Shall we go?” 

“Yeah,” Tony nodded, mouth a little drier than it had been before Loki had left the room.

The drive was quiet but not unpleasant. Loki gazed out of the window looking extremely put out by Tony’s evasiveness regarding their destination. But as Tony explained patiently for the fourth time in ten minutes, it would defeat the point of the surprise if he told him exactly where they were going. Tony distracted him with talk of Darcy and Loki revealed that they had been living together for a little over three years now. They had lost contact for a few years but stumbled across each other again just when Loki was looking to move and Darcy was in desperate need of a roommate to help with rent. 

It was funny how connected Loki still seemed to be to their high school days. Living with their old friend, still best friends with Natasha which obviously brought the added bonus of Clint, the fact that Thor was Loki’s brother and that he and Jane were now married. Sadness crept through him followed closely by the unpleasant prickling of regret as he recalled all the attempts his friends had made to reconnect with him after the incident and how he had ignored every single one. There had only been three people he had wanted to hear from at that time and one was Rhodey who flew out to meet him as soon as he heard the news, Pepper who was there as his plane landed back on American soil, and the other one had never picked up the phone. Not that Tony could blame him. But trauma and heartache easily festered into bitterness and it was in that state that he dwelled for a long time after.

They pulled up outside a five story, red brick building with gold-tinted glass doors that lead into a marble floored foyer. An impressive staircase of the same marble led away to the left of the entrance with banisters that were elegantly carved into a spiral. Tony couldn’t help but grin at Loki’s slightly awed expression as he held the door open for him. An elevator with glistening doors stood in the middle of the wall to their right, engraved with intricate golden borders. Directly opposite them was a plain wall painted a rich ruby red that perfectly complimented the gold within the doors and swirling patterns within the marble.

“What are we doing here?” Loki asked, eyes tracing up the beautifully crafted staircase leading to the upper floors.

“You need a new office space,” Tony shrugged, striding off into the centre of the room. He threw up his arms. “Welcome home.”

“You can’t be serious,” Loki almost chocked, eyes wide and fixed intently on Tony. “I can’t accept this.”

“I’m an investor now, right? This is me investing. No worries about rent or bills because this building is part of Stark Industries’ trial run of clean energy so all of those expenses are covered. No one is using it and I’d rather it not go to waste. I can already see the cobwebs in the corners.” 

He laughed as he saw Loki squint to see the cobwebs before he cottoned on to Tony’s playful tone. Loki frowned and sighed, running a hand through his black hair. 

“But this building is so-” He struggled to finish, searching frantically for the right word. “Classy.”

“Thanks?” Tony replied, unsure whether Loki’s hesitation was a compliment. “I know the Press doesn’t print it but Tony Stark can do classy. Let me take you out and I’ll show you.” He winked. 

“Not what I meant,” Loki waved away his flirtatious comments. “Do you not think maybe it is too big of a step up for Yggdrasil? The office we are in now just passes as basic, this would be a huge leap.”

Tony’s face softened as he realised why Loki was holding back. He took a step forward, forcing the man’s attention away from the details of the room and onto himself. “The man who stood in front of me at my apartment and pitched to me didn’t hold back. He didn’t hesitate. He knew what he wanted and he got it. You believe in your ideas and what you have created. This office is just the next step in a long career that awaits you. Don’t hold back now, you’ll regret it if you do.”

Loki’s green eyes glittered as Tony stared up into them. His expression was unreadable but Tony prayed that his words had made their way through. The doubt, the worry, the fear. They had all crippled Tony at some point or another on his own endeavours to rebrand Stark Industries as a force for positive change and not as a regressive warmongering money machine that perpetuated violence. So many people had stood in his way, some very literally and very forcefully but Tony had managed to succeed despite their attempts. He knew why Loki doubted himself, why he was so afraid of stepping off of the path he had crafted to allow someone else to help. Tony just hoped that some of the trust they had had for each other so long ago still remained. Or that he would at least be given the chance to earn it back. 

“Okay, I accept.” As soon as the words left his mouth Tony let out a whoop of joy and smile broke out on Loki’s face, eyes sparkling as joy radiated from him. 

If Tony was feeling brave he would have taken him by the arms and shaken him before pulling him into an embrace but the sound of Loki’s phone ringing interrupted his internal pep talk. He received a mouthed apology as the call was answered and he watched as the smile slowly slipped then vanished completely off of the man’s face.

“Okay, okay. I’m on my way. I’ll be there as soon as possible. Bye.” Tony wasn’t given time to ask what was wrong. As soon as Loki lowered his phone he turned to him, eyes wide. “Natasha’s gone into labour.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A much longer update and so many questions still left to answer! I love this chapter, Tony's internal struggles, Loki working through his heartbreak, Darcy being Darcy, I hope you all feel the same and I cannot wait to see you all next time x


	9. Chapter 9

Tony’s reaction was immediate. In seconds they were back in the car and pulling out into the slow-moving traffic of New York City. Still Tony was no idiot and knew how to outmanoeuvre the masses and soon enough got them free from the throng of traffic and onto more clear roads. Loki was grateful for the swift change of scene, not just for his desperation to see Natasha. 

So much for the restful Sunday he had had in mind. Their conversation in the flat had been difficult enough. Begging for the answers he had wanted for so long and receiving a watered-down version of what he needed to hear. He could tell Tony was hiding something. The way his face had contorted as Loki asked him why he had left and how Loki had been convinced he did not love him anymore. His expression had been so raw. Voice cracked and broken. Loki could believe that the pressure had got to him. No one was invincible from stress, not even Tony Stark’s genius and sarcasm. But that reason alone would not have stopped Tony from talking to Loki and would certainly not have been the catalyst of their breakup. He was hiding something. 

But things felt better between them now. Calmer. Loki had faced his transgression and that guilt and shame he had lived with for so many years had finally started to lift from his shoulders. Tony forgave him. Tony hadn’t fallen out of love with him for that. And in the office block that he had just been gifted by the man, he could have sworn the air crackled between them. There was excitement in their relationship again. Anticipation. 

Maybe some secrets could stay buried. Things were good now.

“What about your love life?” Loki said, interrupting the silence that had settled between them.

Tony snorted, eyes fixed on the road as he indicated to change lanes. “I thought you didn’t want to talk about that stuff?”

“You know about mine well enough now. You met James briefly and Fandral, it’s only fair if you return the favour.”

“An eye for an eye situation, eh?”

“Exactly, except now you owe me two eyes.”

“Well then I don’t think I should be the one driving,” he smirked and Loki’s lips twitched. “Most recent for me was Pepper.”

“And,” Loki prompted, turning in his seat.

“Pepper.”

“You can’t say the same name.” 

“You should come up with better rules for your game before you play,” Tony teased. “Come on, don’t be a sore loser, who was before Fandral?”

Loki sighed but reluctantly answered. “Sigyn.”

“Woman?”

“Yes,” Loki said defensively. “A beautiful woman. She moved to Iceland.” He deliberately urged Tony to continue before the man could ask any questions. “Your turn and if you say Pepper again I will throttle you.”

“Don’t like the answers don’t play the game. Simple.” God, the man was frustrating. “You, by the way.”

“What?”

“Before Pepper it was you. I haven’t been in a relationship with anyone else. I’ve only been in love twice and even then, I’m not sure I was in love with Pep or if it was just friendship manifesting as something else.”

“Oh…” Loki said lamely.

Thankfully Tony seemed to sense the awkwardness he had created and quickly worked to rectify it. “However, one-night stands are another matter entirely.”

So they were back to the easy conversation and a comfortable atmosphere they had achieved back in Loki’s apartment. The hospital was over an hour away and Loki enjoyed the pleasant drive even as his nerves increased the more time passed. He had promised Natasha he would be there for her every step of the way and here he was over an hour away, trying desperately to get to her as soon as possible. Then again it wasn’t his fault that she had gone into labour early. 

Trees whipped past the windows, the skyscrapers of New York City giving way to large detached houses surrounded by expansive gardens and cars parked neatly in front of garages. Loki wondered vaguely at the lives passing them by. Children played in the parks whilst the parents conversed on benches. Everywhere there were people walking dogs, chatting on phones, heaving laden shopping bags back to their cars. What must it be like to have your life all figured out? Natasha and Clint had figured theirs out. Both had careers, Natasha was now on leave and Clint intended to take over once she was ready to return to work. They were married and now having their first child. They had been together over a decade now. 

Then there was Loki. He was still figuring out his career. Single and not quite sure he was in the mood to mingle. Still mourning the fresh loss of his mother and a fraught relationship with his father. He did have Thor at least. Although the man irritated him beyond words he did always have Loki’s back no matter how reckless in actions or cruel in words he could be. He also had some wonderful friends but increasingly he was starting to feel a hole forming within himself and he could not figure out how to fill it. The closer they got towards the hospital, the more the hole started to expand until it consumed his body with a dull ache that had him closing his eyes and resting his forehead against the smooth, cool glass of the window.

Clint was waiting outside the main entrance as Loki rushed around the corner. Tony dropped him close by and pulled away to park the car.

“We still have time,” Clint said quickly, noticing the frantic expression on Loki’s face. 

“How’s she doing?” Loki asked as he hurried after him into the elevator. 

“As expected. Ready to rip my head off.”

“So, she’s doing perfectly?” he laughed.

“Exactly,” Clint nodded with a smile, leading the way down a bright white hallway before turning into a room on the right.

Natasha was propped up against a sea of plush pillows, a thin sheen of sweat across her forehead and weak smile on her face.

“Please make it stop,” she whined, reaching out towards Loki who accepted her hand and sat beside her on the bed. “I feel like my vagina is going to explode.”

“Afraid I can’t help with that, dear,” he said, tucking a stray strand of damp hair behind her ear. “Hopefully you won’t have to wait too much longer.” His phone vibrated and he pulled it out to check the message. “What ward are you on?”

“D-3. Room 23. Why?”

“Tony is on his way up,” Loki replied absently, tapping away on the screen.

“Tony is here,” Natasha and Clint said in unison.

Loki looked up to see their shocked expression. “Yes. Is that a problem?”

“N-no,” Clint said. “I was going to call him, I just didn’t think he would come.” 

“Well it was an accident we were together in the first place.” Natasha raised her eyebrows. “Tony was in the middle of surprising me with a new office.”

“What?” Her eyebrows nearly disappearing into her hairline.

“Knock knock,” came a voice from the door as Tony sidled into the room. Somehow in the short time since Loki left him he had managed to locate a shop and purchase a large balloon emblazoned with ‘congratulations’ and decorated with little pink and blue hearts. 

Clint’s face hardened slightly at the sight of him but at a warning look from Natasha Loki kept his mouth shut. With four of them the room quickly became claustrophobic and that tension was only heightened by the atmosphere between Clint and Tony. It was clear that Tony had picked up his friend’s hostility too because he hovered uncomfortably by the door until he excused himself suddenly to get a coffee.

“Go after him,” Natasha said immediately, as soon as the door was shut.

“You are giving birth to our child, I’m not leaving.”

“If you don’t sort this out I will kick you in your special place so hard that you’ll maybe start to realise how painful childbirth can be. Go.”

Grumbling under his breath, Clint got to his feet and flounced out of the door, shutting it a little harder than necessary behind himself.

“What was that about?” 

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Boys being boys. Clint’s offended Tony never contacts him, the only time he has done recently was to talk about you and now that you have just turned up with Tony in tow, I think it has touched a nerve.” At the expression on Loki’s face, she quickly added, “don’t worry, it’s not your fault. It’s been like this for years, Tony will drop in and then drop back out just as easily. Clint wanted him here but, like he said, he didn’t think he would come.”

Loki continued to stare at the door, mulling over Natasha’s words and wondering whether he had inadvertently created a very awkward situation. 

******

Clint knew that Tony would have preferred a half-decent coffee from the café on the ground floor but he really didn’t want his friend to be recognised here, partly for Tony’s benefit but mostly for his own. They made do with the very not decent coffee from the machine at the end of the hallway, Clint’s own topped up with milk and a handful of sugars and Tony’s black as always. 

“Do you want a Mars bar?” Tony asked, eyeing the vending machine beside them.

“No thanks,” Clint answered. “Get ‘Tasha one, they’re her favourites.”

The coins tinkled as they were pushed through the slot then he pressed the buttons and the chocolate bar fell to the bottom where Tony stooped down to collect it. He shoved it into his pocket.

“You’re mad, I get it.”

“I’m not mad,” Clint sighed. “Just surprised. Don’t hear from you for most of the year then _bam_ Loki’s back in your life and now you’re back in mine.”

“Sounds like you’re mad,” Tony shrugged, sipping his coffee.

“Maybe I am. I don’t know.” He walked a couple of paces back towards Natasha’s room then turned back. “Hell, yeah I am mad. You pushed us all away. We tried and you didn’t want to know. After Loki and after you came back from Afghanistan, we all tried to be there for you and you pushed us all away.” When Tony didn’t answer, he continued. “You know what I think happened? I think when you got kidnapped and came home you realised you didn’t trust anyone anymore. Pepper managed to fight her way through to you but the rest of us didn’t stand a chance. I don’t blame you. God I can’t even imagine what it must have been like but all we had were newspaper articles and TV features, you gave interviews a few months later but you couldn’t return my calls. That shit hurt.”

“I really fucked up.”

Clint barely heard his muttered words. “And it wasn’t like you disappeared altogether. It was like you got lost but didn’t want to find your way home. I was there, Tony, I was trying to be there for you. You could have trusted me! I know it was under the worst circumstances but seeing you at Thor’s mum’s funeral, it felt like old times again, all of us back together.” 

“I hate that I pushed you all away,” Tony interrupted before he could say anymore. “I was a mess and you’re right, I didn’t trust anyone. I threw myself into work and I tried to make the world a better place because I had just been shown how truly fucking shit it could be. I hate that came at the cost of you and ‘Tasha and Thor and Steve and Bruce. I missed your wedding.”

Clint’s expression softened as he saw the anguish on his friend’s face. He rested a hand on Tony’s shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze. “Yeah but you’re here for the birth of my kid and that’s pretty cool.”

A small smile appeared on Tony’s face. “I wouldn’t have missed it.”

“Sorry for not calling you. I’m glad Loki brought you along.”

“I mean the man is thirty and can’t drive, I think I did more of the bringing,” Tony laughed as they stopped outside Natasha’s room, his hand on the doorknob. “I’m sorry.”

“I know, mate,” Clint nodded. “Now I really need to get back in there.”

Once again reminded of the severity of the situation, Tony threw the door open. Loki was perched on the bed still, his face contorted as Natasha squeezed his hand in a vice-like grip. She muttered curses between her panted breaths, her other hand clenched in a tight fist.

“Contraction?” Clint said, moving gingerly around the bed, settling down on her other side.

“Fuck off,” she hissed.

“Thought so.” His comment was met with a glare from Natasha and Loki. 

A nurse came in to check on her progress and informed them that it was going to be a very long night as Natasha was still dilated the same amount as when the last check had been performed. In fear of and in sympathy for his wife, Clint insisted that Tony and Loki take his keys and spend the night at his house. If it was going to be a long night there was no need for them all to hang around. It would definitely be more stress for Natasha too if three over-tired, grumpy men were her only company rather than just one.

Tony and Loki made their way back to the carpark as the sun was beginning to make its descent over the horizon. The sky became awash with pinks and purples as they speeded away from the hospital. By the time they were pulling up on their friends’ drive the sky was like a Van Gogh painting as the deep blues and purples of the clouds swirled against the backdrop of scarlet and gold. 

Though he had the keys, Tony stood back once he had unlocked the door letting Loki walk in first. He was still feeling hesitant after his talk with Clint and the thought of barging straight into the man’s home after he hadn’t set foot in it in years really didn’t sit right with him. Instead he entered like a stranger, taking in every detail as he had done at Loki’s apartment earlier that day. Was it still the same day? God, Tony was tired.

“What do you want to eat?” Loki called from the kitchen, having walked in as comfortably as if it was his own house. 

“I’m not hungry,” he replied absently, his eyes focussed on the picture frames covering the top of a set of drawers in the living room. 

There were Natasha and Clint beaming away on their wedding day. It was raining but someone was helpfully standing out of shot holding an umbrella over them. They didn’t seem to mind at all. Another next to it was a candid shot of them both laughing and right there next to them was Loki looking equally as ecstatic and carefree, dressed in a wonderful grey suit with a dark green pocket square that matched the shade of his eyes. But it was the next frame that really made his stomach clench and his throat constrict. The four of them in varying states of awareness as the camera was pointed at them. 

Frigga had taken the photograph the summer they had reunited after their first year away at university. Clint eyes were fixated on the camera, perfect smile firmly in place. Natasha was mid eye-roll next to him, her own smile more natural as she tried not to laugh at her boyfriend. Then there was Loki with his legs pulled up to his chest on the couch and Tony curled up against him, his head resting on his shoulder. Loki’s head was tilted towards Tony, eyes open and crinkled at the edges. They always did that when he was smiling. The expression on Tony’s face could barely be called a smile. His eyes were closed, lips turned up slightly at the edges and his hand holding tightly to the man’s beside him. Contentment. That’s the word he would use to describe it. 

“You need to eat something.” He jumped as Loki spoke behind him. He hadn’t heard him come into the room. When he didn’t say anything back, Loki tracked his gaze and saw which picture had the man transfixed. His expression softened. “They asked me if I wanted them to take that picture down after… But I liked it too much.” He stared at it a few seconds longer. “What good will it do if we only ever remember the bad stuff?”

You’re right, Tony thought, still focussed on the picture. Instead, he said, “pizza. Let’s order pizza.”

Loki looked at him in a way that clearly said he knew what Tony was doing. But instead, he replied, “yeah. With extra mushrooms.”

Like Tony could ever forget his gross pizza order. 

Once they had eaten their fill, both turned in for an earlier night. Loki found spare towels in a cupboard upstairs so they could freshen up, neither having thought to pack anything before they had rushed off that morning. At Tony’s insistence, Loki took the bed in the spare room while he settled himself on the sofa bed in the living room. 

It had been a very odd day, he thought as he switched the lamp off and plunged himself into darkness. So much had happened with very little time to process anything. Just yesterday he had been putting all the paperwork in place to gift Loki an office he was not expecting, as he himself fought against his repressed memories threatening to overwhelm him. He had thought bringing up that history was going to be one of the most painful things he had ever done but Loki had made it easier and Tony was very grateful for that. The man had every right to hate him and yet somehow here they were, sleeping under the same roof, sharing again in the creation of memories for their best friends. 

Sleep was quick in coming to Tony. It wasn’t long after he closed his eyes that he felt his thoughts begin to quieten and the tension in his spine melt away as the comfortable cushions enveloped his weight. It had been weeks since he had fallen asleep so easily. So long in fact that Tony didn’t even realise it himself because he was already sound asleep. 

The tranquillity was broken all too quickly by the sound of thundering down the stairs and the sound of Loki skidding into the room. With his eyes still closed Tony could pretend to be asleep and hopefully he would go away. But as the silence that followed after his entrance dragged on for several minutes, Tony had the jarring but not totally uncomfortable feeling that he was being watched.

“You know, you could just ask to join instead of dreaming about it from a distance,” he said lazily, pulling the duvet back and giving Loki the best smirk he could muster for the early hour that it was.

Loki cocked an eyebrow, deliberately dragging his eyes up and down Tony’s body that was hidden under the covers. Damn, Tony had forgotten the man could give as good as he got. “As tempting as that offer is,” he said in an oh so sweet voice. “I actually came here to discuss work.”

“Hmm?” Tony hummed absently, shifting into a sitting position. 

“The press release. It’s here.” Now Tony could see how much Loki was attempting to rein in his excitement. He was practically buzzing where he stood at the foot of the sofa bed. 

“Okay, lay it on me.” He barked a laugh as Loki skipped over with his phone already unlocked and ready with the corresponding tabs open and settled himself beside Tony. “I take personal offense that you do not own a StarkPhone. This screen is tiny, how do you not need glasses already?”

“I wear contacts,” Loki deflected easily. “And your tech costs a fortune.”

Taken aback by the sudden knowledge that Loki had to wear glasses, information that, in his weak state of waking in the early hours of the morning, sent his imagination running wild. But Loki’s excitement at the steady stream of articles flooding his newsfeed was enough to distract Tony’s wandering mind. 

Headline after headline. Article after article. He knew a press frenzy when he saw one. Clearly his attempts to invite a select few journalists along on his personal visit to Yggdrasil had been in vain. Of course, they had sold out their story to the highest bidder because what newspaper, tabloid, magazine or network wasn’t clamouring for any news of the billionaire inventor who had been maintaining an oddly low profile for the past few months? 

Notifications were flooding Loki’s screen. As fast as he swiped them away two more would take their place. Tony recognised some of the names that flashed up. Obviously, his co-workers at Yggdrasil, Fandral definitely more than the rest, Darcy’s name appeared a couple of times, Thor’s too, Steve once, but the rest he did not know. 

“Are you happy with what they’re saying?” Tony asked.

“It’s looking really positive. Apparently, the office is already being flooded by callers and there is a little crowd gathering outside. I cannot wait to show them the new building because we are all sick of people staring at us on the ground floor.”

“I mean I can see why,” he smirked, bumping his shoulder against Loki’s.

“Does _this_ ever stop?” Loki asked, gesturing broadly at Tony.

“Nope. You’re stuck with it.”

He sighed theatrically, black hair falling forward to frame his pale face. “Tis but a burden I must bear.” 

“Alright, Shakespeare. Now get out of my bed because I wanna get dressed seeing as you insist on waking me this early. Have you heard from Clint yet?”

As if on cue, Tony’s phone started to ring on the table. Usually he had it silenced but Clint’s was one of the few numbers he had placed as emergency contacts so no matter what it would always ring loudly for him. He quickly snatched it up and after a few quick words he was on his feet and gesturing for Loki to get ready quickly because ten minutes later they were speeding towards the hospital to meet their friends’ new baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little note from me to say that updates over the next couple of weeks may be a little slower. Those living in the UK will know we are back in lockdown but my job is in hospitality and I am currently still working. I also have an exam coming up as I'm working towards a promotion and really want to do well. And in the next couple of weeks my dad is having surgery so a lot is happening!
> 
> Thank you as always for reading and a special thanks to those kudosing and commenting, they really mean so much to me!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a CW for this chapter but I have included it in the endnote because it gives away a lot of the more shocking moments of this chapter. If you are worried though definitely scroll to the end first before reading.

“He’s beautiful,” Loki whispered, cradling baby Cooper to his chest. His eyelids fluttered over blue eyes and he wiggled momentarily before relaxing into Loki’s gentle grip. 

“Yeah,” Natasha sighed. She looked exhausted yet radiated pure joy as she beheld her baby in the arms of her best friend. 

He really didn’t want to cry. He had promised himself that he would hold it together. But the hole that had formed within him as Tony drove them to the hospital the day before was back and growing quickly. The ache within his chest was painful and his hands shook a little as Cooper settled himself once again. 

A hand came forward to rest on his upper arm. “Are you okay?” 

“The first baby I have held since…” his throat constricted and he coughed to hide the sob that wrenched itself free.

“Want me to take him?” Natasha asked quietly, voice filled with concern.

“I’m okay,” Loki said. “I think your hormones are rubbing off on me.”

He knew that Natasha knew he was being deliberately evasive but he didn’t want to talk about it. It was an unspoken rule between them that it was never brought up and given the situation they were in now it was even more of a given. But Loki could not stop the constant, steady roll of emotions through his body as he held Cooper and remembered what it felt like to hold a baby. A life you had a hand in creating. Then recollected what it felt like to have that taken away. 

Tony had insisted on taking Clint for a proper coffee in the café downstairs as soon as they arrived. Whilst he said it was to give Natasha a break from his constant fussing, Loki knew he was still trying to make it up to Clint for being such a distant arsehole. That and to also allow Natasha and Loki some time alone. 

“Right, you know I can’t deal with you crying so I need you to hold yourself together for what I am about to say.” Loki sniffed but nodded. They both ignored the single tear rolling down his cheek. “We want you to be one of Cooper’s godparents. I want to ask you to be his godfather. What do you say?”

A watery smile broke onto his face. “Yes,” he laughed. “It would be my honour.”

“Great,” Natasha beamed, squeezing his arm. “Now gimme him back because he is only a few centimetres away and I already miss him.”

Loki shifted his hands and carefully supported Cooper’s head as he passed him back to his mother. He knew that Natasha had been terrified about becoming a parent. It hadn’t been something they had really discussed out loud but he could tell from her anxious consumption of every pregnancy book she could get hold of and her sensitivity whenever any of them had attempted to joke about the topic. He didn’t blame her. Parenthood was something that was infinitely terrifying; one of the greatest adventures anyone could undertake. An adventure he longed for even as he was consumed by his fear and loss. 

The ache in his chest amplified again as he was transported from the happy scene in front of him to the dark place he usually kept under lock and key at the back of his mind. On the other side of that lock were three names etched in despair and longing. The newest addition was Frigga, the shining ink still fresh on that one. The other two were a little dulled and tentatively healed. But as Loki’s thoughts turned to them now he felt the wound begin to irritate as their names started to echo in his head. Narfi and Vali. 

******

Babies were one of those things that always freaked Tony out. Not totally in a bad way, more that they intimidated him and he was always scared he would do something wrong (and the many instances of baby scares from his one-night stands did not help the situation). Whenever someone had offered one for him to hold he would refuse on the account of a horrible vision flashing before his eyes of himself somehow dropping or throwing said baby. So, for the most part Tony had avoided contact with them. But he did agree with the general consensus that they were adorable. Especially their tiny hands and noses. 

When Clint had led them into the room he had had no trouble in walking up to Cooper cradled in Natasha’s arms and gently booping him on the nose before allowing him to wrap his tiny fingers around one of Tony’s own. But as soon as the topic had moved to Loki and he holding the baby, he had panicked. Thankfully Loki had eagerly accepted the invitation and easily took Cooper into his arms with a practised motion that had Tony wondering where he had learnt such a skill. Instead of asking, he encouraged Clint to accompany him for a coffee to give Natasha a little space and time alone with her best friend.

“You’re a dad,” he grinned, placing a mug in front of Clint and patting him hard on the shoulder. 

“I am,” Clint said in a stunned voice. “Jesus Christ, Tony, I’m a fucking dad.” They both laughed and took a deep swig of the warm drinks filled with caffeine. “I have no idea what I am doing.”

“You’ll be great.”

“Thanks man,” he said, his laughter easing into a small smile. “And hey, hopefully having a kid is a good enough reason for you to actually stay in contact this time.” Tony’s face fell dramatically and Clint scrambled to explain. “Okay that was a cheap shot, I’m sorry. But you’re my best mate. Hell, I want you to be this kid’s godfather.”

At that Tony’s mouth fell open as he struggled to find words to accurately describe what he was suddenly feeling. “You want me? This complete mess of a human that thinks a different person in my bed every other night is enough to make up for the crippling loneliness I experience on the daily?”

“You are such a drama queen!” Clint shook his head. “I planned to ask you in a better way, like over a drink as we toast to my biggest achievement – somehow being able to convince Natasha not only to marry me but also have a kid with me.” They both laughed. “But I’m serious. I want you in Cooper’s life.”

“Of course I will. Just please don’t snuff it soon okay because I am not ready to take care of a baby at all.”

“Don’t worry you can co-parent with Loki. I assume ‘Tasha has asked him by now.”

Tony pulled a deliberately contemplative expression. “I think we would definitely be in the running for World’s Hottest Co-Parenting Team.”

“I have no doubt,” Clint muttered, draining the last of his coffee and getting to his feet. 

As they made their way back to Natasha’s room Tony let his mind run wild as he told Clint all the crazy things he would do now that he was a confirmed god-father. Not only had he already planned an out of this world eighteenth birthday party for Cooper who didn’t even know what a birthday was yet, he also decided that there would have to be an official photoshoot to celebrate his new ‘title’ as he called it. Amused and unsurprised, Clint listened to his friend’s plans grow wilder and wilder until Tony paused suddenly and released a dramatic gasp.

“Do you know what this will do to my reputation?” For a brief second Clint assumed that the reality of now knowing a baby and having parents as friends was sinking in. But he was mistaken. Tony let out an epic laugh and clapped him hard on the shoulder. “I’ll be fighting them off. I get the sexy dad vibes without the responsibility. Win win!”

His grin faded as he glanced through the window and saw Loki surreptitiously wipe his face as Natasha deliberately kept her gaze focussed on Cooper. Clint noticed too and hurriedly placed his hand on the door handle to block Tony from walking straight in.

“I think we should give them another five minutes.”

“What’s going on?” Tony asked, judging Clint’s reaction as evidence to his assumption. Loki was crying. 

Clint shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, shooting a hesitant glance towards the door. “Look, it really isn’t my place to say.”

“I can’t be the only one to not know what’s going on,” he complained. “Loki is crying in there and I’m the one that’s gotta drive him home later. Do I just sit there and occasionally offer him a tissue as he continues to ball his eyes out with zero explanation?”

“Will you keep your voice down?” At a glare from Tony, Clint sighed. “Okay fine, but if ‘Tasha or Loki find out I’ve told you they’ll hate me so make sure you keep your mouth shut.”

Tony mimed zipping his mouth shut and locking it with an invisible key that he tossed over his shoulder. 

“A couple of years ago Loki was dating a woman called Sigyn. They were together for over year. She was lovely and seemed to make him happy and she actually got on with ‘Tasha which was an achievement. Anyway, she got pregnant. It was twins.”

Tony sobered immediately. Loki had a child. No, children. He was a father. But there was something in Clint’s tone that pulled him back. He remembered the haunted look on Loki’s face as he hastily wiped his tears away and the wistful expression he had worn when he had mentioned Sigyn to Tony the day before. 

“Everything was great. They moved in together, bought all the stuff, painted the spare bedroom. I think it was around thirty weeks when things went wrong. Sigyn couldn’t feel any movement and they went in for an emergency scan. There were no heartbeats. Because it was so far into the pregnancy she had to be induced and give birth. It was-.” Clint’s voice broke. “It was awful.”

“What happened?” 

“Apparently this can just happen. There is an increased risk with twins but that’s all I know. Loki and Sigyn’s relationship fell apart afterwards. I’m not sure if they had been staying together because of her getting pregnant or whether it was the loss, I don’t know. They broke up and sold their flat. Loki moved in with Darcy and Sigyn moved to Norway or something.”

“Iceland,” Tony corrected. “He mentioned her to me as we drove here.” He swallowed hard to try and get rid of the solid lump in his throat but it didn’t budge. 

“That was it. That’s where she was born so they picked traditional names from there. Narfi and Vali.” 

It felt infinitely worse knowing their names. Loki was a father. Loki had children. Except instead of confirming a point this time he was saying it past tense. He _had_ been a father. He _had_ children. Until they were so cruelly ripped away. Now Tony mourned for the man he had known all those years ago who had craved a family of his own. 

They had never discussed family too much, Tony having a painful relationship with his own parents and Loki having had to deal with the discovery of his adoption and the reality of his adoptive father’s mild dislike for him. Despite his pain and his constant attempts to repress the past and assure Tony that he was fine, Tony knew that he wasn’t. Loki wanted a family. He wanted to feel like he belonged somewhere and that wasn’t with the mismatched family he had gained when he was adopted. He wanted a family that was entirely his own. 

And he had gotten so close. So fucking close, Tony despaired, staring back through the window at his first proper love and starting to see the man he was now rather than the man Tony had assumed he still was. 

Clint lead the way back into the room. If Tony hadn’t seen Loki not ten minutes before, he wouldn’t have had any idea about the emotions rolling through him by the expression now on his face. Set in an easy smile, black hair falling round his face and tall frame relaxed against the back of his chair, he was the picture of contentment. 

“Your turn,” Natasha insisted, holding Cooper towards Clint so he could pass him to Tony. 

His immediate response was to refuse but the joyous expectancy on all three of their faces convinced him that he would be rebuffed even if he tried. He held out his arms and allowed Clint to carefully place the baby in his arms. Tension clung to him as he supported Cooper’s weight 

“Move that arm slightly so you’re more comfortable,” Natasha said, pointing to his left arm.

The pressure mounted as Tony attempted to follow her instruction with little success. He hated feeling out of his depth. 

“Here, let me.” 

Loki stood up and rested his hand on Tony’s arm, guiding him into the position Natasha had meant. As he took his hand away, Loki allowed his fingers to ghost over Cooper’s soft cheek before meeting Tony’s eye with a soft smile. 

“Thanks,” he murmured in reply, not having prepared himself at all for the rush of emotions he had for Loki as the man struggled to contain his paternal instincts. 

Tony was familiar with loss. His parents. Yinsen. Obadiah Stane. But they had all been older than him, had been able to live their lives. And all their deaths were at the hands of accidents and betrayals. The loss of Loki’s children were not accidents or someone deliberately trying to hurt him. It was just the reality that life is cruel and unfair and sometimes tragedy strikes when you least expect it, at what should be the happiest moments of your life, and there are no explanations and no one to blame and you are left with a chasm inside of you and no idea how to fill it. 

When they left the hospital Tony’s mind was still reeling. He was hesitant to talk too much in case he raised Loki’s suspicions but he knew if he didn’t talk at all Loki would notice anyway so he was in a no-win situation. Thankfully, Loki seemed lost in his own head as they began to drive back to the city. 

That was until he suddenly broke the silence between them. 

“What’s wrong with you?”

“What?”

“You keep looking at me out of the corner of your eye and you look absolutely exhausted.”

“That’s just my natural look,” Tony joked. “Middle age approaching now and all that.”

But Loki was clearly not ready to drop the subject so easily. With the stubbornness of petulant child, he demanded, “then why do you keep staring at me?”

“I wanted to ask if you were okay?”

“Of course, I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” 

Tony stumbled over what to say. He kept his eyes fixed on the road ahead for fear that Loki would see straight through him if he glanced round. 

“It’s polite to ask,” he replied lamely. 

Loki released a heavy sigh and Tony couldn’t help but look round and catch a glimpse of the vulnerability that flashed across his face before it was hidden again by casual interest. 

“Barton told you, didn’t he?” 

“Told me what?” Tony feigned ignorance. 

It was no good. Loki had been able to see through his facades within months of their meeting and Tony doubted he had changed enough in the time they had been apart to be any better at acting now. He supposed he could reluctantly give himself credit for their breakup. He was still very successfully keeping that truth under wraps. 

“Don’t play dumb with me, Stark.” The sharp reversion to his surname definitely wasn’t a good sign. “I saw you through the window and I know you saw me. I know you would have badgered Barton to tell you what was going on and I know he would have told you.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony mumbled. “And for your loss. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s quite alright,” Loki said, voice tight with the effort to maintain his passive tone. “I have had a few years to come to terms with the tragedy.”

The formality in his speech was a clear warning to cease the conversation immediately. Something within Tony urged him to continue but he managed to hold himself back enough to allow the atmosphere to cool and the comfortable silence between them to resume. Sadly, he could only resist for so long.

“I thought you were going to bite my head off.”

That caused Loki to chuckle. “Maybe it would have if I felt betrayed by Clint for telling you, but I don’t. I’m not angry about what happened anymore, only sad. I would just appreciate you not talking about my personal life to other people. It is not something I would like broadcasted in the papers.”

“God, of course not Loki! I just wanted to check in with you,” Tony said earnestly. 

“Thank you,” Loki nodded, lips turned up slightly in his signature half smile. “You still haven’t explained why you look so tired though.”

Dammit does his brain never quit? But then again, he thought, Loki had just been honest with him about possibly the most sensitive moment in his life. Really it was only fair that Tony shared something with him in return.

“Being CEO of a billion-dollar company can be tiring,” he began, wishing that Loki’s intense gaze would shift away from his face and back out the window where the world was still flashing by. “And right now I am really tired. Tired and bored.”

“You are the face of Stark Industries, have so much money you could never possibly spend it all, endless party invites, endless entertainment – you have the world at your fingertips and yet Tony Stark is _bored_.” 

Tony couldn’t help but laugh along with Loki and his incredulous tone as he laid extra emphasis on his last word. 

“S’pose it’s true what they say, money can’t buy everything,” he shrugged. 

Loki stared thoughtfully out the window and Tony focussed once again on their journey. They were meeting the continuous flow of city traffic now which required extra concentration. The weak sunshine marking the transition of one season into the next reflected off the damp road from recent rainfall causing him to squint slightly. Thankfully he never left his tower without sunglasses which he picked out from the cupholder beside him and slipped on as the traffic paused at another set of traffic lights.

He knew he wasn’t sleeping properly and a combination of catalysts were contributing to that unfortunate habit. Stark Industries had been weighing heavily on his mind in recent times. He was watching Loki opening the doors to the rest of his career and here he was himself sitting on piles of gold, dreams achieved, battles won and nowhere else to go. The bureaucracy of Stark Industries had never interested him. It had been the reason for hiring Pepper in the first place. She dealt with the papers, organised the meetings, consulted, all while Tony could continue inventing in the privacy of his lab with his music blaring and the stresses of running a company an unfelt weight on his back.

Shutting down the weapons division of Stark Industries had caused a rabbit hole he had never foreseen and before he knew it, he was already tumbling down into its depths. Over and over again he was forced to relive his most traumatic experiences as he defended again and again his decision to not supply the government with weapons. Apparently protecting civilians was not a good enough reason, so he was stuck in an endless spiral of pain, anger, regret and scotch. 

Pepper was his saving grace. He had tried for so long to love her the way she deserved but it wasn’t enough. They both knew that now and despite everything she was still always there at the start of the day to deliver his schedule and at the end to wish him goodnight. No matter the frustration he caused, she was still ready with his excuses when he didn’t turn up to meetings which was definitely more often than not. 

But the company didn’t excite him anymore. Even the drink was failing to drive away the crippling sense of loneliness and jealousy he felt as he saw all his friends moving on with their lives when he felt like his own was already over. 

“Tony!” 

He had just enough time to slam on the breaks as another car tore out of a turning ahead. He hammered the horn as the car sped off down the road, barely missing a number of other vehicles that were forced to a stop too.

“Shit! Are you okay?”

Loki nodded, taking steadying breaths with his palms flattened against the dashboard. 

“Fuck,” he grunted, slapping the steering wheel. “Fuck!” he shouted, running his hand roughly through his hair.

“Tony.” The sensitivity of Loki’s tone matched the insecurity behind his gesture as he stretched out his hand and placed it tentatively on Tony’s arm.

The sound of the horns behind them kicked his brain back into gear. They had been sat motionless on the road for over a minute causing a large build-up of traffic behind them. With his gaze now fixed fervently through the windshield, he pulled off down the road to re-join the steady flow of the city.

“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. 

“It wasn’t you,” Loki insisted. “It was that idiot.” Tony could feel the familiar heat as the man’s stare settled on him. “Are you okay?”

He was fine. They hadn’t crashed and he had had far closer calls than that. But he guessed that Loki wasn’t really asking about what just happened. He could so easily lie. In so many ways he was living the dream. How could he not be okay? But there was something in Loki’s tone, the way he angled his head slightly to the left and the faintest frown line appeared on his forehead, the soft warmth of his hand still resting on his arm, that made him want to tell the truth. 

“I am bored,” he started, feeling a twinge of disappointment as Loki finally took his hand away and folded them into his lap. “And I can’t sleep. So I drink and I sit in my lab and try to come up with something revolutionary but when I do I doubt myself. No matter how many years it has been every government in the world is always pushing me to restart the weapons department and are constantly pestering me to sign contracts and deals.” He took a heavy breath. “I want to do better, be better. But I don’t feel like I can.”

A thoughtful silence fell as Loki continued to stare at the side of his face. Tony was thankful for the distraction of driving but he knew their destination was just a couple of turnings away now which meant Loki had only a few more minutes to continue his ruminations before he would have to give an answer or else his silence would be answer enough. This was why Tony hated being honest. Honesty demanded a response and he had never been a patient man.

By the time he pulled into the small row of available parking spaces outside of Loki’s building his impatience was definitely showing. He took off his sunglasses and swung round to meet the man’s gaze as soon as he pulled the handbrake. 

“I get I’m a mess. I wasn’t looking for answers or sympathy but you asked,” he babbled. “You did ask.”

“I did,” Loki replied. “And you are really not a mess.” Tony cocked an incredulous eyebrow. “Just a bit confused.” That was the polite way of putting it, he thought. “How about we have dinner soon?”

“Are you saying a date with you will fix all my problems?” Honestly, he wasn’t entirely opposed to the notion.

“Not a date, more of a distraction,” Loki shook his head, a slight smirk playing on his lips nonetheless. “But it is good to talk and it would be nice to focus on someone else’s problems for a change because I’m rather sick of my own.”

“Thanks,” Tony scoffed. “One dinner though is hardly going to solve much for either of us.”

“A deal then,” he began, running his index finger thoughtfully across his bottom lip. “An eye for an eye situation. I go to work, you go to work, I attend my meetings and you attend yours. I continue to pursue my company and you restart your plans to revolutionise the world.”

“But how-”

“Let me finish,” Loki insisted, his tone far more patient than Tony was expecting. It was softer than his usual crisp accent. “I have pitched to you and now it is your turn to pitch to me. I’m not an engineer but I can listen, I can suggest, I can be a medium you run your ideas through. A continuing arrangement of shared ideas and collaboration. You can help me with the finer details of Yggdrasil and I can help you get your motivation back.”

Tony was almost irritated by how much the idea appealed to him. Although it was wholly unsurprising but still somehow a slight shock, he enjoyed Loki’s company. He was quick, too intelligent for his own good, rarely modest yet still genuine in his belief of others. A breath of fresh air in the stagnant atmosphere that Tony had allowed to fester around him. 

“How many meetings do I have to go to?”

“All of them.”

“Hey hey hey, let’s not run before we can walk. On average I have fifteen to twenty a week and I currently attend three, and that’s me rounding up.” 

Loki snorted. “Get the average to ten.”

“Seven,” Tony countered with the most defiant expression he could muster.

“Ten.”

“You’re supposed to compromise,” he whined. 

“Not when I’m right,” Loki shrugged. 

Tony thought fast. “Fine. I’ll go to ten if you accompany me to a party I have to go to in a couple of weeks. I’ll arrange hotels and transport but you have to keep the dates free.”

The reply came without any hesitation. “Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: discussions of stillbirth/miscarriage.
> 
> Not to sound like a broken record but thank you so much for sticking with me. My break away was a lot longer than I expected but I am back and ready to write. Kudos and comments are always so greatly appreciated. Until next time x


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An early Christmas present with hopefully more to follow soon!

It took exactly forty-eight hours for the Press to discover that Tony Stark and Loki Odinson used to be an item. For two days the newspapers and magazines and social media were flooded with posts about Tony’s next steps in his philanthropic career. On the third these were replaced by blurry photographs of the two together over a decade ago and snippets the tabloids had managed to grapple from the few sources that had come forward to spill the beans. Now every headline was suggesting the possibility of sexual favours getting Loki the deal, a quite literal leg up as some put it. Others focussed particularly on the confirmation that Tony Stark was attracted to men, something that had been speculated for years but he had never bothered to confirm or deny in any interview. 

Pepper Potts’s first thought was damage control. Tony needed to do a statement. However, that would be a lot easier to achieve if he hadn’t just jetted off across the country to visit Rhodey and his home in Malibu. Luckily Pepper was very much used to cleaning up Tony’s messes for him. Not that this one was precisely his fault. 

Next on the list then was Loki. They needed a meeting to discuss his and both companies approach to the issue because, while it would do little for Tony’s reputation to be hit with rumours of a sex scandal, Loki’s initiative was still very new and this could be very detrimental to his plans. 

She sent an alert calling him in for an emergency meeting and received an answer in a matter of minutes. Turning back to her cup of coffee and StarkPad, she resumed her browsing of the morning news, occasionally highlighting sections, saving tabs and making notes on the articles she was reading.

It wasn’t unusual for Tony to suddenly decide he wanted a break from life in the tower but he did have a habit of choosing very inconvenient moments for these excursions. She knew Tony better than anyone and she knew something was wrong. He arrived back from Natasha and Clint’s with a wide grin and a loud hello. Strike one, Tony was only this cheery when he was hiding something. He immediately brought up the company and his upcoming engagements. Strike two, he never took interest in the goings on of Stark Industries unless it directly involved his development of new tech or an event that he organised. That led her to strike three. He offered her the opportunity to take over as CEO of Stark Industries.

“You can’t be serious?”

“Before you say no just think about it,” he had insisted, face set with determination. “You’d be perfect.” 

And she did think about it. For the few seconds she gave herself, Pepper felt excitement and pride rise inside her but she put a lid on those feelings instead and asked, “but why? Are you sick?”

“I don’t think so,” Tony said, patting himself down as though looking for injuries. “Come on,” he smiled. “Think on it, okay? You don’t need to make a decision now but this is a serious job offer. The best promotion I can give you and one you definitely deserve.”

Then he announced that he was heading to Malibu for a couple of days. The plane was already being prepared and Happy would be downstairs in a few minutes to collect him. He threw some clothes in a bag, grabbed his phone, gave her a peck on the cheek and departed.

No matter how many times Tony told her not to worry about him she couldn’t help but do the exact opposite of what he asked. And really, who could blame her? He was hardly serious, rarely rational and had just dropped a bomb on her with the same amount of warning as Simba got before he was trapped by the stampede of wildebeests. 

Now Tony was ignoring her messages and she was about to have a meeting with his ex-boyfriend that she hadn’t spoken to in person for many many years. Whilst her relationship with Loki had been turbulent to begin with, memories that still made Pepper cringe, they had come in the end to reconcile their differences and had got on amicably enough even if it was mostly for Tony’s sake. Beneath her straight backed, professional veneer paired with a welcoming smile and pristinely pressed blazer and pencil skirt, her heart was beating rapidly as she entered Stark Tower’s foyer.

“Hi, Mr Odinson. Thank you for coming so quickly, if you would like to follow me.”

Loki was quick to hide the surprise on his face at her approach behind a small smile and nod, accepting her hand to shake and following her into the elevator. 

It was awkward. There was no doubt about it. Sadly, it was only going to get worse, she thought, as they entered the deserted boardroom and settled themselves into opposite chairs. She was thankful she had chosen one of the smallest meeting rooms they had because even this one felt cavernous with only themselves and the uncomfortable weight that had settled between them.

“Is Tony not joining us?” Loki asked hopefully.

“Unfortunately not,” Pepper said, shuffling the papers before her and sliding a couple to one side. “He flew to Malibu last night and won’t be back for a few days. Very common behaviour for him so I wouldn’t worry too much,” she added at the look that briefly passed over Loki’s face. “If I worried about Tony half as much as I could, I would never get any work done.”

“I can imagine,” Loki said, his mouth turning up at the corners.

“Now, Mr Odinson, as you are obviously aware there has been a definite and significant breech into your privacy. Whilst Stark Industries is used to smoothing over scandals and rumours and so forth, we are very aware how negatively this revelation could impact your plans for expansion and further investment.” She paused for breath, very aware of the weight of Loki’s stare. He had relaxed a little into the black leather chair and as she talked he slightly tilted the chair from side to side while his eyes never left her face. “You know what,” she said suddenly. “I can’t do this.”

His eyes widened and he stopped his chair’s movements with the heels of his feet. “Is there a problem?” he asked in that painfully smooth way that she knew had won over Tony’s heart before and she was sure it was bound to do again.

“I can’t pretend to not know you and I hate calling you Mr Odinson. It feels weird inserting myself into your business because that was something I promised I wouldn’t do but unfortunately it is my job and you’re going to have to accept that.”

“I do accept that.”

“Good,” Pepper said, voice regaining the strength that had started to waver as emotion had taken over.

“I agree with you. I hate you calling me Mr Odinson. This is going to be…uncomfortable, but I’m sure if we have a quick sip of that scotch over there then we will be fine.”

Damn, he had a sharp eye. A decanter of whiskey had been tucked behind a matte black vase with only one side of the crystal cylinder visible so that to most in a busy meeting, the golden liquid inside would go undetected. Tony kept one stashed in most rooms to toast to the success of certain business ventures, but Pepper knew the real reason was to sneak a swig when he thought no one was looking.

She produced two glasses from a sleek hidden drawer tucked underneath the head of the table. “Cheers,” she said, holding her glass towards Loki who followed in kind. “Now back to work. We have located the source of the leak as a contemporary of yours at university. We have made contact but the gentleman, though I use that word very loosely here, is pleased enough with the original pay-out he received from the newspapers he sold the story to that he is happy to go back into anonymity. As I said before, something of this nature to arise will not affect Stark Industries but it could yours so we propose the publication of a statement from our side where we explain the situation, confirm the details of your relationship at the time and dispel rumours about your relationship now. There could still be a potential backlash but we will do our best to keep that to a minimum and work to keep the attention fixed on ourselves rather than you.” 

Loki nodded slowly, taking a couple of notes as she spoke. “How many details of our past are going to be shared?”

“Only things you are comfortable with. Ultimately the Press only have hold of two pictures of you two so in the grand scheme of scandals this is very small and will blow over quickly. It has only been blown up to this degree because the press release announcing our investment into Yggdrasil is one of the only public statements that Stark Industries has given recently and, like the insatiable beasts they are, the tabloids lap up any dirt they can get.”

It wasn’t until the end of the meeting when they were both preparing themselves to depart that Loki paused in the action of tucking his notebook away into the inside pocket of his woollen coat. 

“Have you heard from Tony since this happened?”

Pepper looked up. “No,” she said honestly. “Despite what the Press reports, Tony has always been far more interested in innovation over image. He won’t care what they’re saying about him but that can mean he doesn’t always see that what they’re saying can hurt other people.”

Loki looked like he wanted to protest but thought better of it. Instead he offered her a kirk nod and a somewhat forced smile. “It was nice to see you again, Pepper. A shame it was under such circumstances.” He turned on his heels but he paused with his hand resting on door handle when she spoke again.

“He’s impulsive,” she said. “But brilliant.”

“I know,” he replied, a note of something in his voice that Pepper could not quite grasp. With his back to her she couldn’t read his face. “Good bye, Miss Potts.”

“Good bye, Loki,” she said, trying to ignore the pang of disappointment she felt at the reversion to her surname.

*****

The new offices were still more than Loki could ever hope for and he really couldn’t believe his luck. While he was reluctant for Tony to continually splurge his wealth on Yggdrasil and was frustrated by the man’s sudden disappearance across the country without a word, Loki was grateful and excited. The building was alive with activity when he arrived from his meeting with Pepper. Workmen crowded the foyer. Having already designed and fitted a front desk that perfectly matched the golden details of the surrounding walls, they now had large ladders set up to begin taking the measurements high up on the wall opposite the doors where the organisation’s new logo would eventually be emblazoned. 

Loki mounted the stairs two at a time and found himself surrounded by raised eyebrows and smirking faces.

“You and Tony were just friends in high school then,” Volstagg said, eyes glittering with amusement.

“We _were_ just friends,” Loki said. “Until we weren’t.”

“Sly dog,” he chortled, patting Loki hard on the arm. 

Sif stepped up, hands on her hips in her signature stance. “Why didn’t you tell us?” 

“It wasn’t something I wanted to talk about.”

“We understand that. But you should have said.”

Yes, he knew that now. He probably knew it at the time too when Tony first offered him the pitch but he hadn’t wanted to. There was something about his time with the man that he had always wanted to keep to himself. Even after days spent out with their friends, dinners together, dancing and drinking together, there were those times when it had just been them two together. In those moments they had been the only two people alive, the only two people to know what love was. It was a secret that they kept to themselves. And even after they had broken up Loki found that he didn’t want to lose that magic entirely. Never telling others about their relationship was his way of achieving it. That way the memories always lived on inside them, solely for them. 

It all seemed pointless now that the entire world was privy to their relationship. In some ways he had been grateful that their relationship hadn’t lasted any longer. That way they never had to experience the overwhelming process of going public as Tony rose to become the billionaire CEO of Stark Industries. At least this way he could convince himself he got the easy was out. He would never have to watch them crumble from within as the world hungrily watched on. All the world got now were the fragments that barely resembled the real picture. 

“I knew there was something more going on between you two,” Fandral said as he trailed after Loki into his new private office. 

“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t affect the investment of Stark Industries into Yggdrasil.”

“Does explain it though,” he muttered, picking at his nail to avoid Loki’s irritated gaze.

“Just say what you want to say,” he snapped. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Fandral threw up his arms. “No one invests in their ex’s company and expects it to remain entirely professional. There is no way! And come on, Loki, we are talking about Tony fucking Stark. That man has bedded most of New York and is well on his way to working through the rest of the States.”

“I think you should keep your opinions to yourself in future.” But the coolness of his tone did nothing to stem Fandral’s tirade. 

“He’s using you!” Loki closed his eyes in attempt to cool the anger bubbling away inside him. “How can you not see it? And now everyone is thinking it.”

“Oh really?” Loki said slowly, his limited patience for the conversation finally lapsing into dangerously controlled fury. “So that’s what you are all thinking out there. Does Sif agree with you? Volstagg?” Fandral didn’t say anything. “I don’t care what people say about me but I care when people I am working with and who I trust disrespect me so readily.”

“I’m not trying to-” His protests were cut off by a swift wave of Loki’s hand but when he didn’t speak immediately Fandral cut in before he could. “I care about you and I don’t want you to get hurt. I saw the way you were looking at him when we went for drinks.”

Loki was sure he hadn’t looked at Tony in any way other than with mild contempt during their escapade at the bar. And why was everyone suddenly so invested in protecting him. He was a grown man and he could handle Stark. The snark was easy, the flirting oddly entertaining, what did he have to worry about? 

“I appreciate your concern,” he said steadily. “But it is unnecessary. I ask in future that you keep your comments on my private life out of the office and to yourself.”

Fandral paced the room, running his fingers harshly over his face before he whipped round. “Why did you end things with us? We were going so well and then you just backed out and now your ex is back in your life and you’re falling at his feet.”

The raised voices had attracted the attention of the other three occupants of the open office space beyond Loki’s closed office door. With the blinds left open he could see Sif sending them concerned glances whilst Volstagg debated going in to break up the tension. Hogun sat at his desk but he had his hand raised to Volstagg as he muttered something. Loki guessed he was trying to convince Volstagg against involving himself in a situation that had nothing to do with him. Loki was grateful. Hogun had always been the voice of reason amongst the hot-headed bunch. 

“I do not want to talk about our private lives here. I told you why I ended it all those months ago when I did it. I hoped you would be over it by now.” He realised a split second too late that that was quite the wrong thing to say.

“Well I’m sorry but I can’t just switch my feelings on and off,” Fandral yelled. “You told me I wasn’t ready to be serious and here I’ve been for months showing you how serious I am ready to get and now you don’t want to know.”

“It wasn’t working,” Loki said placatingly. 

“You didn’t even try.”

Fandral flounced out of his office, muttering under his breath words that Loki was unable to work out. He could have called him back, demand to know what he said, reprimand him yet again, even give him an official warning. But the more fuss he made the more Fandral would be convinced in his far-fetched theories about Tony and the likelihood of any of them getting any productive work done for the day would drop to less than zero. 

He released a heavy sigh and thumped his head against the desk where he let it rest on the cool wood. Somewhere in his bag or coat pocket his phone started to ring. It vibrated for almost a minute before the person gave up and the line went dead. There was no little buzz to follow which would suggest the caller had left a voicemail so at least he hadn’t missed anything important. 

After a few more minutes in his slump, wallowing in self-pity, he finally got to his feet and cracked on with his to-do list for the day. First was always correspondence and he was entirely unsurprised to see that he had even more emails flooding his inbox than usual. A lot were junk, mainly gossip-hungry tabloid vultures attempting to get the next scoop on his private life, a few were potential investors hoping to arrange an initial meeting, and the rest were replies to enquiries he had sent out himself to other local organisations, charities and schools to arrange events. 

Through the glass he could see Fandral hunched over his own desk, tapping away on his laptop. He had a pair of headphones on and they all knew that meant he wasn’t to be disturbed. The others moved around him normally, acting as though he wasn’t there at all. Loki hated tension at work. 

He knew getting involved with Fandral had been a bad idea but the hedonistic side of himself that was still grieving his losses and was unwilling to accept the loneliness starting to envelop him had convinced him to go for it anyway. He had had fun. That was what he needed then. Having fun without apologies, feeling happy without guilt. Those things were not what he needed now. He wasn’t looking for a distraction anymore and he didn’t want to use Fandral when he knew the man couldn’t provide what he was looking for. He wanted love. To fall hard and get swept away in the whirlwind of being loved in return. Then Frigga had gotten sick. The loss of her had scared him enough to initially convince himself that he never wanted to love again because with love there was always the possibility of loss, of getting hurt again. Now he was starting to think that it was worth the risk. 

How could Fandral think he was falling at Tony’s feet? The man had disappeared to Malibu without any warning and had maintained radio silence all day as Loki had to deal with the fallout of the Press’s obsession with their personal lives. He had respect for Tony as far as his intellect took him, there was no denying his talent, and Loki was starting to grow a little concerned for him since their almost accident and the following conversation. Maybe the curiosity he felt towards Tony had passed the purely professional boundary he had set himself but that interest in no amount exceeded the platonic. 

By late afternoon he had dealt with all of his emails, organised three meetings for the following week and set up an event in a local school that would take place in the next month. Sif, Volstagg and Hogun all poked their heads through his door to say goodbye before they headed off while Fandral collected his bag and left without a word.

“I’ll talk to him,” Volstagg assured Loki, staring after his friend as he disappeared through the door which he let bang shut after him.

“There’s no need,” Loki said. He didn’t think that anything Volstagg had to say would improve Fandral’s mood today, except maybe if he offered to buy him a couple of pints. 

Volstagg nodded and followed Sif and Hogun down the stairs into the open foyer while Loki remained at his desk. He began to type again when his phone started to ring in his coat pocket and he finally remembered the call he missed from that morning. As the screen lit up he saw the two missed calls but neither had a number attached. Both were marked as unknown.

Assuming they were from telemarketers, he dismissed the mystery and deleted the notifications. He opened up his messages and saw the previous texts he had shared with Tony beneath conversations he had shared with Natasha and Darcy more recently. He had unread texts now from both of them although he chose to bypass them and select Tony’s name instead. The tiredness, the stress, the overwhelming feeling of having his privacy invaded had all added up to put him in a really bad mood and if anyone deserved to hear about it, it was definitely the man that had abandoned him in the middle of this mess and not even bothered to text himself. 

_Next time take your holidays at more convenient times._

He would have really liked a good rant but thought it better to build up to that. Tony actually needed to reply first before he unleashed his pent-up wrath. Luckily, he only needed to wait a few minutes for that.

_My bad. The sunshine was calling my name_ was the reply he received. 

_I’ve been fending off calls from the Press all day. They gathered outside the offices for a while. Please hurry up and make your statement so I can get back to work._

_Pepper’s sorted it. It’ll be published tonight. Give it a couple of days and they’ll get bored._

Loki scoffed and typed, _I’m not a patient man_. He paused after sending the first message before adding, _It’s caused drama in the office and I don’t know how to fix it._

The sharp pain of embarrassment he experienced as he typed only heightened when he clicked send. He hated being so honest but if anyone could help him right now it was Tony Stark.

_Guessing your funny Valentine didn’t like what he read in the papers._ Oh, Loki could just tell he was lapping this up and felt his anger spark again. 

_I take my business seriously. You can just disappear and have everyone else pick up the pieces but I don’t have that luxury. I actually care about who I work with_ , he replied, breathing sharply as he hammered the send button. 

_I’m sorry. The truth hurts especially when you feel lied to, just give him time and it’ll blow over._

Surprisingly kind words from a man who supposedly didn’t have a heart. 

_He thinks you’re trying to seduce me and I’m falling at your feet._

_If I was trying to seduce you you’d definitely know it. The thought of you falling at my feet is lovely though._ Loki huffed a laugh, warmth spreading up his neck. Another message followed saying, _He wants to be your knight in shining armour and you need to make clear whether you want to be rescued by him or whether you can rescue yourself on your own. I’m betting on the latter._

For a conversation that he expected to develop into a fully-fledged argument, Loki was feeling markedly more cheerful. He found himself wishing that he could see Tony’s expression as he typed his replies. 

_When are you back in NY?_

_Do you miss me?_ Loki didn’t need to see him this time to know that he was definitely smirking. 

_Just waiting for that dinner we agreed. You really aren’t delivering on your side of the bargain, how many meetings have you missed today?_

_3\. I’m back on Monday. I’ll make it up to you then._

Loki almost didn’t reply. He clutched his phone tightly as he reread their exchanges over the past few minutes. Part of him wanted to grill Tony some more and really let the guilt sink in that he had abandoned Loki when he needed him. Another part of him relished in the idea of meeting Tony for dinner so that he could do the grilling in person. A third, very small, secret, part of him already couldn’t wait for Monday so that he could see him again. Seeing Tony vulnerable and having him agree to let Loki into his private world as the inventor and innovator rather than the beaming face of the billion-dollar corporation meant something to him. It had awoken memories within him, and a feeling. 

_Dinner Monday night but only if you attend all your meetings that day._

_Scout’s honour (closest emoji to a salute I could find)_ , Tony replied, followed by the emoji of the Vulcan Salute.

Loki laughed and placed his phone back in his pocket, tidied his desk and headed for the door. As he switched off the light, it started to vibrate again. By the time he had scrambled with his office key and juggled his bag as he fumbled in his pocket, the call had ended. He switched on the screen anyway and saw for the third time that day another missed call from an unknown number.


	12. Chapter 12

It was only after he was soaring miles above the Earth’s surface that Tony started to feel the weight lift from his chest. First there had been his conversation with Loki as they drove back to the city. Then their almost crash. Their agreement. All of it had contributed to his already fraught mind coming to the conclusion that he had already been playing with for some time now but had been too stubborn to address sooner. 

He had arrived back to the tower and revealed his intentions to Pepper. Understandably she was shocked beyond words but he didn’t have time to comfort her. He needed her to think and agree as soon as possible and he needed to be as far away from New York as he could get. That was where Malibu came in. Although not as far as he would have preferred to go, there was room to think there and, of course, his guardian and life-long friend, Rhodey. 

The suffocating weight was almost non-existent until he read the headlines two days later and it began to expand once again. He knew he should return Pepper’s incessant calls and he definitely should contact Loki. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He needed time. He wanted space. Most of all he wanted a drink.

Unfortunately, in the rush he had been in to get away from Pepper’s questioning and her worried glares, he had forgotten to grab a bottle for his trip. The last time he had been in his Malibu home he had thrown a large and very impromptu party that had cleared out all his stocks of liquor and it had been so long since he had returned, they had not yet been replaced. 

That was a problem for another day, however, because right that second Tony received a text and his first reaction was, surprising even himself, not to ignore it. Instead he snatched up his phone and opened the conversation. 

Unsurprisingly the message was short and snippy. Really, Tony couldn’t blame him. He would be pissed too if Loki disappeared in the middle of a crisis. His poise, wit and charm were always welcome distractions. Tony wasn’t sure he could say the same about himself so he simply was himself as he typed his reply and hoped that would be enough. And in his defence, the feeling of the hot sun warming his exposed skin was very lovely. Not that Loki could relate to such an experience when he burnt like a crisp whenever he ventured out in summer. Lucky for him  
Autumn had almost taken over New York now and the air was already adopting its crisp coolness. 

Tony’s stomach panged as he read Loki’s next messages, how the Press had been badgering him all day and how he had fallen out with Fandral. Okay, so he may have poked fun a little at that one but he did genuinely feel sorry for him. Loki, that is. 

His heart plummeted as the realisation struck him that he had failed in his promise. Loki didn’t know this but he had. That fateful night Tony had ended their relationship, Tony had silently promised to protect the man from ever having to suffer from the shameless wrath of the Press. It hadn’t transpired in the way he had assumed it would, it had happened years after he had predicted, yet he had still failed. No matter what he did or how he tried to avoid it, Loki always got hurt and it was always his fault.

But the man with the enchanting green eyes and cheekbones like cut glass had no idea. He forgave Tony again so easily. He reinforced his intention to have dinner with Tony. He proved once again why he was the most wonderful man on the planet and Tony had been a damn fool to let him go.

“You need to pull yourself together.” Rhodey’s voice snapped him out of his reverie. “If you’re serious about stepping down as CEO then why are you here and not back in Stark Tower?”

“I’m giving Pepper some space to think.”

“Looks to me like you’re running.” Rhodey looked away from Tony and relaxed back against his sun lounger. His half-unbuttoned shirt caught in the gentle breeze blowing off the sea and he straightened his collar.

“You always tell me I need a holiday and now I’m trying to take one and you’re complaining at me,” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, his own t-shirt still firmly in place.

“Not complaining. Just pointing out that you have really bad timing. You have seen the papers today, right?”

“Oprah’s not dead, is she?” he gasped dramatically.

“Tony,” came the disapproving response.

“Of course, I’ve seen it,” he scoffed. “Stark Industries is preparing a statement as we speak. All done and dusted.”

“Courtesy of Pepper,” Rhodey said, eyebrows pulling together.

“More evidence that she should be CEO.”

Rhodey agreed with him, he knew. The man simply had an annoying habit of interrogating every decision he made just to make absolutely sure it was the right one. Half the time it turned out it wasn’t and that was why Rhodey was his guardian angel, his substitute conscience, guiding him out of disaster even when he was knee-deep in shit. 

“And Loki?”

“What about him?” Tony said.

“Where do I even start, Tony? I’ve learnt everything about your life over the past month from press releases and gossip in the tabloids. I only knew you were at Clint’s kid’s birth because he posted pictures on Facebook.”

He closed his eyes against the blinding rays of the sun and the heavy realisation that Clint wasn’t his only friend he had been neglecting. 

“I feel really lost, Rhodey. I thought I was holding it together, I thought I was doing a good job with Stark Industries and moving on from the past but I don’t think I am anymore. We are all getting older and everyone else is moving on with their lives except me.” He shielded his eyes against the sun as he turned to face his friend. “I want change.”

“And Loki’s the key to that?”

“Loki’s…” he began. “He’s really lost too. He might not see it or want to admit it but he is. And he wants to help me and I think we could help each other. I want to try anyway.”

Rhodey released a deep sigh. “You know digging up the past isn’t always the best way to move on from it.”

Tony matched his sigh with one of his own, running a hand harshly over the centre of his chest. Rhodey’s eyes followed his movement with a concerned frown as Tony said, “I think the past is already here and it is about time I deal with it.”

The two of them drank and laughed and pretended like nothing was amiss until the time came for Tony to return to New York. Rhodey insisted on accompanying him to the airport where they shared a brief hug and insisted that Tony needed to do a lot better at keeping in touch this time or else he would be on a plane to the city as soon as possible. The threat wasn’t necessary, nor was it particularly concerning seeing as it would actually be an enjoyable experience to have Rhodey visit the tower for a while, still Tony heeded the warning as he turned away and boarded the jet.

As promised Tony attended all his meetings after arriving back at the tower. He wished he had taken a picture of Pepper’s gobsmacked expression as he rocked up to their first meeting of the day exactly on time. She hissed something to him that he didn’t hear, holding the door to the boardroom open for her to enter, beaming from ear to ear. 

Turning up to the meeting may not have been the biggest achievement because there was no way for Loki to know whether he was actively paying attention or not. So, he may have zoned in and out at varying degrees throughout the hour Pepper had set aside for this engagement but at least he had bothered to turn up. One hour closer to dinner that night. One hour closer to seeing Loki’s begrudging smile at his success. 

“You said you would be back Monday but I didn’t think you actually meant Monday. And you are attending meetings. What has gotten into you?” Pepper eyed him suspiciously as the other members of the boardroom filed out. 

“I had some free time to kill,” he shrugged, taking large gulps from the cup of water in front of him. 

“You must be exhausted,” she said, staring intently at his face.

“I flew in last night, I slept like a baby. About the next meeting,” he said, changing the subject with practised ease. “NASA’s proposal is surprisingly solid but there are a few amendments I want to propose before we make any decisions about a deal.”

Pepper stared at him incredulously. “You’ve always said you don’t want anything to do with NASA because they want your missile technology. When did you change your mind?”

“Last night,” Tony said, sipping his water again. 

“What has gotten into you?” she hissed. “You tell me you want me to take over as CEO, you have a couple days holiday and now suddenly you’re turning up to every meeting, evidently well-rested, and prepared with plans for new deals.”

He flashed her his signature grin. “I’m glad after all these years I can still surprise you.”

The air was growing chillier with each passing day. If Tony had been walking to the restaurant he would have swapped his suit jacket for a woollen one but thankfully the welcoming warmth of Happy’s car was enough to stave off such drastic action when it was only September. 

He had picked his favourite Spanish restaurant. A high ceilinged, oak panelled room, framed by contrasting beams and walls filled with an assortment of old wine bottles. The tables set aside just for drinkers were made from retired casks and streams of exposed lightbulbs illuminated the room with a wonderful orange glow. 

Loki had already texted that he was running late and for Tony to order them both a drink for when he arrived. Of course, he did one better and ordered two bottles of wine, a red and white, and requested the cocktail menu also just in case Loki wasn’t in the mood for wine. He was only two sips into a glass of red for himself and perusing the specials on offer when the man himself appeared at the door. A waiter immediately met him and lead him over to their table.

Loki had opted for a woollen coat to block out the evening chill. The navy pea coat hugged his figure and, as he walked over shooting an easy smile in Tony’s direction, he unbuttoned it to reveal a black shirt tucked into a pair of grey trousers. Both items were fitted exactly to his tall frame, accentuating his long legs, slim waist, and the gentle curve of his spine as he turned away to hang his coat over the back of his chair before he settled himself in the seat opposite.

“I’m sorry I’m late. A meeting overran and I was halfway across town.” Tony replied with a smile and offered him a drink. “Red, please.”

They examined the menu and decided to order a selection of tapas to share. As the waiter turned away with their order tapped in on his tablet, Tony turned to Loki with a somber expression. 

“I owe you an apology.”

“Yes,” Loki said conversationally, wrapping his long fingers around the top of the stem of his wine glass with his index and middle fingers resting against the bottom of the bowl. “I suppose you do.”

“I didn’t know this was going to happen.” Tony gestured widely and Loki stared at him incredulously. “Okay, fine. I did know something like this would happen at some point but I didn’t know it would be this soon. It’s been so long since Stark Industries entered into any new deals or agreements so the Press pounced on this one and, lucky for them, struck gold.”

“I predicted my personal life would be scrutinised once our agreement went public. My only wish was that you weren’t a few thousand miles away so that you could have offered me some advice. I prefer to keep my relationships private because I do not want outside influences to become involved in business that does not concern them, or rather, in our case, to rewrite the past into something that it wasn’t.”

“I should have flown back and given a statement myself.”

Loki nodded curtly. “Should I have acted any differently?”

“You did everything right as far as you could. The Press storm was far less about you personally and more to do with my position. This sort of situation is like flirting with fire,” Tony finished with a shrug.

“And I suppose you think you are the fire,” Loki said, eyebrow cocked.

“You should know, you’ve been in my bed enough times,” Tony quipped before his brain could stop him. He immediately cursed himself for his insensitivity to flirt at a time like this but to his surprise, and great joy, Loki met tit for tat.

“A long time has passed since the last. My tastes have matured and my standards are far higher now.”

“Sounds like a challenge,” he replied, knowing very well now that he was pushing his luck.

But then. The sheer audacity of the man across the table from him. Loki smirked. The dirtiest smirk that he had seen in a while and maybe it was the warm light, the wine slipping through his veins, or the fact that he hadn’t had sex in months, that Tony felt a jolt run through him straight to his groin. 

What was Loki playing at?

*****

Loki had no idea what he was playing at. 

He was angry with Tony, or at least he had been. But those feelings had melted away as soon as he had entered the restaurant and seen Tony waiting for him at the table. The backlash from the leak had been decidedly small on Yggdrasil’s side. In some ways finding out that Loki was Tony Stark’s ex had put him and his organisation on the map. All the enquiries he had sent out that had fallen on deaf ears were suddenly being replied to in bulk, flooding his inbox with requests for in person meetings, video calls, invitations to private events, and inquiries about jobs. 

His biggest worry had been the journalists prying further into his private life than they had already gone, digging into the reasons for their split, his other relationships since Tony, his adoption. He swallowed thickly at the thought. Yet his anxiety had been in vain because the Press had only been interested in his life to the point that he was Tony Stark’s first confirmed gay relationship and then speculating about the nature of their relationship now. Loki could live with gossip. Part of him even thrived on the chaos of it. 

That might also have something to do with Tony himself. Loki felt something. Nothing significant, he told himself. Just intrigue still, he lied to himself, as he found more and more of his time dwelling on the genius that broke his heart. Tony was more mature now but hadn’t lost his endearing boyish charm. And Loki felt something. But, frankly, he was too preoccupied with work and his own stubbornness to investigate the growing warmth in his chest whenever he spent time with him. 

“I signed a contract with NASA today.”

Loki looked up from his plate. “You’ve always refused to work with them. What changed your mind?” He pretended he didn’t see the pleased grin that passed over Tony’s face as the man realised that Loki knew more than he gave away about his business dealings over the past decade. 

“I remembered you telling me once that you would love to explore space and I said maybe one day you will and you told me not to be so ridiculous, as you often did, and that I was the scientist, not you.” Loki’s heartbeat quickened at the fond expression on Tony’s face. “And I realised, to use your word, how ridiculous I have been. I rejected NASA for years because they wanted my missile technology which I refused to share with anyone after I shut down the weapons department of Stark Industries. But NASA don’t want my technology to make weapons, they want to adapt it to advance their own technology to make space exploration easier.” Loki could see the excitement overtaking the man’s face now as he channelled it through his body, almost vibrating in his chair. “I am now the lead engineer in our collaboration and I’ll be redesigning their tech.”

“That’s amazing,” Loki exclaimed. 

“And there are strict terms written into the contract that any of my tech used or anything designed by me from this point onwards will belong solely to me and I have final say over how it is used and who has access to the plans.”

Loki really didn’t know what to say except to repeat himself. It really was wonderful. The Tony Stark sitting in front of him was already a world away from the one he was sat in a car with a week ago who told him he was bored and tired. Now energy was pulsing from him as he attempted to contain his enthusiasm. His eyes were still framed by dark circles but his pupils glittered now, deep brown speckled with golden, reflecting the exposed lightbulbs illuminating the restaurant. 

Tony sighed suddenly, breaking Loki out of his brown eyed reverie. “I’m sick of running from the past,” he said quietly, honestly.

That struck something in Loki though he was given no time to examine it because his phone started to ring. He fumbled with his pocket, apologising as he whipped it out as the tinkling tune attracted the attention of the few occupied tables near them. The unknown caller was a familiar sight now and he had no problem with immediately pressing decline and slipping the phone away again, this time on silent.

“If you need to take it outside,” Tony offered, sipping his wine to cover up his obvious discomfort. He had never been a man for overt emotional displays, unlike Loki who, when the occasion arose, could act as the very personification of dramatic, so Loki could understand his hesitation at being interrupted at the precise moment he had given in to temptation and decided to speak openly and unguarded.

“It’s not important,” he said. “I keep getting calls from unknown numbers. It’s best to ignore them, they will get bored eventually.

Tony’s cutlery clattered against his plate. “How often do you get these calls?” His tone was earnest, his expression serious. 

Alarmed, Loki answered, “A couple of times a day. It isn’t a big deal, they’re just prank calls.”

“Have you answered any of them?” 

“Yes but no one is ever there. The line is silent or I hear a faint crackle or breathing.”

“And you haven’t tried to change your number?”

“No,” Loki said, rolling his eyes. “It’ll be children messing around or nosey journalists trying to listen into my conversations or something.”

“Wait, when did this start?” Tony’s tone was alarmed now. His spine was a rigid line and his face had noticeably paled.

“After the Press found out about us.” Loki was starting to feel a little unsettled himself now as Tony raised his hands to his face and rubbed them harshly over his skin.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “I need you to change your number. Change your phone. I’ll get you a Stark phone. I-.”

“This is ridiculous,” Loki interrupted. “They’re just prank calls.”

“What if they’re not? Shit, Loki!” What he had construed as borderline anger in the man’s voice he now realised was blind panic. 

“I don’t understand-.” 

“No, you wouldn’t,” Tony said in a rush. “This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. Why I…” His hands shook on the table top. “Please Loki, change your number and change your phone.”

He didn’t understand what was going on but the anxiety pulsing through the man in front of him made him agree. “Yes, okay. Will you please tell me why?”

“There are monsters out there, Loki. Hiding in plain sight and I don’t want them to hurt you.”

Protest was on the tip of his tongue because, after all, Loki wasn’t scared of a journalist trying to find out his secrets. He would prefer they didn’t broadcast his personal life but the world would certainly keep on turning anyway even if they did. There was something about Tony’s words, the panicked glint still in his eye even as his breathing started to regulate, that warned Loki that he wasn’t receiving a full picture. This wasn’t the first time he had felt that Tony was hiding something from him. 

As Tony managed a wan smile across the table, half awkward, half apologetic, Loki felt his curiosity melt away. He hadn’t showed his darkest side yet so why did Tony need to do the same. If something was causing him this much distress then it wasn’t Loki’s responsibility to force it out of him. It was his job to support him. That’s what their new agreement was about anyway. 

Instead of pressing further, he reached across the table and took Tony’s hand in his. He refrained from lacing their fingers together despite his brain continually instructing him to the contrary, and hoped the weight of his cool hand against Tony’s warm one would be enough reassurance for now that everything was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A week late now but happy New Year to you all! And to begin it with a (little) bang, we have some hand touching! Move aside period dramas because we have got you covered right here folks. Stay tuned for more!


	13. Chapter 13

As expected, a small box was waiting for Loki on his desk the following day. Sleek, candy apple red with a golden seal that he broke to reveal the shiny new Stark phone and a hand-scribbled note of his new number, accompanied by a childishly drawn smiley face. Unsurprisingly, Tony had taken it upon himself to completely set up the phone so that all Loki needed to do was transfer over his contacts. 

“I didn’t know we were getting freebies.”

“Perks of habitually having dinner with the CEO,” Loki said, raising his eyes to Sif who was leaning against the doorframe of his office.

“Don’t let Fandral see. He has only just about calmed down from your last blowout,” she said, sitting down in one of the two seats on the opposite side of his desk. Loki sighed. Fandral’s temper was certainly becoming an issue. “Have you considered giving him another chance?”

“Yes,” he admitted. “We wouldn’t have worked in the long run. It was fun and I don’t think I only want fun anymore.”

“No,” Sif smirked. “You want a sexy billionaire showering you in dollar bills.” He shot her an exasperated look. “Oh, come on Loki, lighten up a bit. You could do with some fun.”

“But I-.”

“It doesn’t have to be with Fandral,” she interjected quickly. “He means well. Surely you remember what it was like to be young and stupidly in love.”

“Vividly.”

Sif’s expression softened at the solemn expression overtaking his face. When she spoke again her voice was gentle, consoling. “If you don’t just want fun anymore, you have to accept the possibility of being hurt.”

Again, Loki finished her sentence for her. Again and again and again. He had been hurt, he had loved and he had lost so many times. He wanted to hope, he wanted to be brave and try. Was he ready yet? Maybe. The problem wasn’t readying himself to be vulnerable; the problem was who he was readying himself to be vulnerable to. And whether the sentiment would be returned.

Somehow Sif seemed to guess what he was thinking. With a knowing nod, she got to her feet and squeezed his hand reassuringly. 

“It’s worth a try,” she smiled, turning to leave. “The possibility of love is always worth the risk.”

“When did you get so wise?” he called after her but she just tapped her nose and left, shutting the door behind herself. 

He hated being vulnerable. He hated to visibly show weakness. Much easier to lie his way out a situation or evade it with his talented tongue, especially when the latter could sometimes be taken in the far more literal sense and that was always more fun. But Sif was right. If he wanted fun now he wanted it to mean something too. 

He had lost endlessly and most of those losses he couldn’t get back. His children would haunt him till the day he died and joined them. Frigga’s warmth would never envelop him again when he needed her most. But Tony. The man he had assumed he would have grown old with who instead he was growing older without. He could get him back and he was starting to realise that he might actually want to. It wasn’t love, he was sure of that at least, but there was a feeling, a hopeful sort of knot in the pit of his stomach whenever the genius shot a smile his way, that made him think it might be worth the risk. 

Hadn’t Tony said it himself the previous night. _I’m sick of running from the past._ Loki was so sick of running from the past too and if Tony could stand to be in a room with him after everything that transpired between them, could say he forgives him, could continually seek out opportunities to spend with him, then surely there was a chance. 

If chaos ensued then so be it. Loki was becoming tired of wondering. 

That was until he went to check that morning’s headlines.

_‘Tony Stark enters into NASA contract’_

_‘Stark Industries to boldly go where they have never gone before’_

So, the first few headlines were to be expected and perhaps even applauded, but it was the next one that made Loki stop short. 

_‘Stark spotted with new fling’_

_‘Old habits die hard: Exclusive images of Tony Stark’s newest conquest’_

_Tony Stark, CEO of Stark Industries, recently made headlines when it was discovered that his new investment project is headed by his ex-boyfriend. Whilst Mr Stark has always declined to comment on his sexual preferences, this revelation was enough to prove that he was definitely not straight. However, last night Stark was photographed cosying up to actress and model Lola Ashley. Now we are wondering, was Stark’s boyfriend a one-time thing? Is he bisexual? Too afraid of his true feelings to fully come out of the closet? Confused? Or is this all just a radical publicity stunt? NewsNow are still waiting for comment. Turn on notifications to get exclusive updates as soon as they occur._

He felt sick. Of course, how could he be so stupid to forget Tony’s reputation as genius, billionaire, _playboy,_ philanthropist? And that was all Loki was to him in the end, another of his philanthropic causes to support and publicise before running off to his fancy parties and armfuls of women only too happy to pander to his every whim and desire. 

Loki slammed his laptop shut and grabbed the new Stark phone. The urge to throw it against the wall was strong but he fought it. How would he explain that to Tony? Oh, by the way, I smashed the phone you gave me because I briefly considered giving us another try but then I saw you already cracked one out last night and remembered you are allergic to commitment. Loki snorted at his own crudeness and the absolute absurdity of the situation which he blamed Sif for entirely. If she hadn’t gotten so sentimental he would never have gotten these thoughts into his head in the first place. 

Still, as he left the office for an early lunch, he couldn’t help but dwell on how bothered he was that Tony had left their dinner to run straight into a model’s waiting arms.

* * *

Loki was taking a lot longer to reply to texts today Tony realised with some disappointment. Then again, the man was trying to establish a career for himself and that surely meant not checking his phone every five minutes. Still, Tony wasn’t a patient man and when he actually sought out someone to make plans with, he rather hoped they would do him the courtesy of responding. 

So maybe he had gone to bed really late and what sleep he had managed to get was interrupted by flashes back to a dark cave, his head being held under freezing water. He awoke in a pool of sweat, eyes darting round the dimly lit room, rubbing his hand forcefully across his chest where the visible reminder of his capture was forever emblazoned on his skin. The disturbed night had left him in a crabby mood that only worsened when he saw the headlines that morning.

The only person that seemed to understand his feelings of being entirely lost was Loki. Pepper was good at feelings mostly because she was good at sympathy. She had always been there to pick up his pieces and helped put him back together. But this was different, he wanted someone who understood what he was going through. He was cracked from head to toe and he desperately needed to find some glue. And that was where another dinner with Loki came in, if only the man would answer his text.

Instead of sulking like the child he was very aware he could be at times, he dropped his phone onto the only clear workbench and turned back to the chaos of his lab. He preferred the one at his house in Malibu with his cars to tinker with when he got stuck on another project, the scent of the sea air, and at least three times the amount of space to blow things up. Not that he ever blew things up intentionally, he reassured Pepper often. 

The lab in the tower was a little cramped for his taste. Whilst almost taking up a whole floor, minus the main exits, emergency exists, and elevators, Tony liked to have as much space as possible to spread out his ideas as he often jumped from one project to another. Still, being surrounded by cool metals, soldering irons, dissected Stark tech, and the welcoming presence of good music blaring through his speakers, he couldn’t really complain.

The buzz he had been waiting for came an hour after he had lost himself in equations for the adaptation of his thruster technology into something that would improve the current system NASA was using. It was another two and a half hours later when FRIDAY interrupted him with a reminder to drink some water, an addition to her systems courtesy of Pepper, that he glanced at his phone long enough to see the reply.

_I am free Friday evening._

Loki had gotten the phone he had sent then and was using it like he agreed. He had half assumed that Loki would have shrugged off his promise as soon as he had left Tony’s company the night before.

_Friday’s perfect. It’s your turn to choose the place._ His mind flickered back to the headlines that morning before sending a second message. _I’d prefer somewhere quiet though, away from the vultures._

Loki would have seen them too, he would understand. To his slight surprise, he received a clipped message in response.

_My flat at 6?_

No banter, not even a snide remark. Clearly, he wasn’t in a good mood either. 

_See you then._

He didn’t hear a word from Loki for the rest of the week. The headlines about Tony’s latest conquest were replaced by in-depth examinations of his past as news of the NASA contract reached the masses. To say his mood didn’t improve as the days passed was an understatement. Every meeting he attended he was met with more forceful stares; every time he was spotted out of the tower he was bombarded by journalists wanting to know exactly why he had agreed to work with NASA after avoiding it for so long. They wanted to talk about Afghanistan. His nightmares worsened.

By the time he arrived outside Loki’s flat on Friday, he was utterly exhausted. He rapped his knuckles against the cheap wooden door and waited for it to open. 

“Good evening,” Loki greeted smoothly, stepping back to let him in.

“Hey,” Tony said. “So, I know I said I wanted to go somewhere quiet but I’ve had a hell of a week and would much rather order some Chinese and bitch about every single person that has pissed me off this week.” It was only after he paused that he picked up on the wonderful aroma permeating the room. “Wait, did you cook?” 

“I did,” Loki replied, glancing almost awkwardly, Tony thought, towards the kitchen. “You said you wanted quiet and I had a free afternoon.”

In that moment Tony could have kissed him. Okay, maybe not the smartest idea, but he was so relieved that he didn’t need to spend the night putting on a false face for waiters who pandered to him in hopes of grabbing a quick selfie or discreetly snapping a picture of him to post of Instagram that would surely encourage a hoard of people to his exact location.

“You’re the best,” he said, clapping Loki on the shoulder, a gesture far less likely to open a can of worms. “And it smells delicious in here. If I knew you were cooking I’d have brought dessert or wine or something.”

“It’s fine,” was the reply as Loki swept past him into the kitchen to check on the oven. Tony followed at a distance, sure now that there was something wrong with him. He was immediately distracted however by the contents of the oven that were suddenly revealed to him.

“You made pizzas!” Loki smiled at Tony’s enthusiasm but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Perfect. These only need a few more minutes. What would you like to drink? I’m having white.”

Tony had the same, taking a seat at the table that had been laid for their dinner. It had only been laid for two; clearly they weren’t expecting a sudden interruption from Darcy today. Shame, she might have known how to cheer up Loki or know what was wrong with him in the first place because Tony was stumped.

He tried to make conversation but the replies he received continued to be short and there was little enthusiasm to continue talking. At least the food was good. For all his sulking, Loki was a damn good cook and that alone was enough to improve the rather dismal evening so far. 

Full of pizza and two glasses of wine later, he was feeling talkative again and was determined to get the other man to reply to him properly. 

“What is the matter?” he finally asked, setting his empty glass down and staring at Loki across the table who was still picking at the food on his plate. “And don’t you dare say you’re fine because I know that look on your face.”

“I’ve had a very stressful week,” Loki shrugged.

“So have I but I thought the point of this was to cheer each other up and escape from how shitty our lives can be sometimes, not depress each other even more.”

“My apologies,” he replied, looking entirely unapologetic as he topped up their glasses. “I am not feeling myself today.”

Tony looked into his face. A smooth path of pale skin was visible from his neck to his chin as he leant back in his chair and tilted his head up. Angular cheekbones framed his long delicate nose and soft pink lips. Well, he assumed they were still soft. They certainly looked it. He directed his gaze away up to the man’s eyes. A rich green that he remembered could look ethereal in certain lights. There was that weight settling in his abdomen again, the unsettling sensation of want for a man he would never be able to get again.

“If you weren’t feeling up to this you should have called. Do you want me to go?”

He half expected him to protest, the suggestion of Tony leaving being enough of an incentive to step up as host. Instead, he received a cool reply that sent the warmth slipping through his body to quickly retract, causing his stomach to turn uncomfortably.

“I’m sure you have someone else waiting to occupy your time,” Loki muttered, not meeting his eye.

Now he understood. “You know, I never pegged you to believe everything the media printed.”

“You don’t deny it,” Loki replied, his voice stronger now.

“Yes, I met someone after our dinner. Why does it matter?” Loki didn’t answer, continuing to stare resolutely at a spot just over Tony’s head. The frustration he had been feeling all week was starting to bubble over now. How could Loki sit there and judge him like everyone else? What right did he have to question how Tony spent his time? “What is your problem?” He asked again.

“I suppose I forgot about your insatiable reputation. I did not realise that a dinner with me was keeping you from your desires.”

“My desires. Are you serious?” Tony spluttered. “Not that I owe you a damn explanation but Lola is taking a casting director to court for sexual harassment. I’m helping her to finance the case.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“No, you wouldn’t because those journalists don’t care about truth. They care about the easiest scoop and what better way than to prey on a young actress spotted with someone that has a reputation like mine.”

He was breathing hard now but at least Loki had the decency to look ashamed of himself. They stared at each other across the table, one flushed with lingering frustration and the other ashen-faced. 

“I’m sorry,” Loki murmured and he looked it too. 

Tony started talking again as though he hadn’t spoken. “Do you know what the worst part is?” Loki looked at him dumbly. “Actually falling for someone when you have the playboy banner hanging over your head. Yes, I like sex, please show me the crime in that. But how would you feel if after every time you thought you’d made a genuine connection with someone and the next day they go running to the Press to dish the dirt on you? After a while you stop believing in love.”

“That’s not fair,” Loki said quietly, looking very much like he wanted to reach out and take Tony’s hand again. Tony really didn’t think he would mind if he tried. But he didn’t. He kept both hands in a neat pile resting on the table top and his green eyes fixed on Tony’s own. 

“No, it’s not,” he sighed, feeling his frustration fade. He took a large gulp of wine, enjoying the slight burn as it slipped down his throat. 

This was really not the evening he had hoped to have with Loki. He had pictured teasing, laughter, coy smirks, sarcastic comments. There was still time to salvage it though, he was adamant about that. Clearly Loki was of a similar mind because his next remark caused a grin from Tony.

“Well, she was a bit young for you anyway. I definitely thought you were pulling above your weight.”

“Hey,” Tony cried, pointing a finger at him. “You can’t comment on my love life when I can’t comment on yours.”

“I suppose not,” Loki conceded, smirking slightly. 

“But while we are on the topic. Fandral? What were you thinking?”

“He is only a couple of years younger than us.”

“Could have fooled me,” Tony grinned, leaning forward to rest his elbow on the table and run his fingers over his goatee. 

He liked the way Loki’s brow crinkled as he thought of what to say. The way his long fingers held his glass in a delicate grip as he raised it to his lips. The quick dart of his tongue afterwards to ensure not a single drop was wasted. 

“Fandral was the first person after Sigyn. The first and only one since to be precise.” Tony didn’t say anything, listening intensely as Loki continued to speak. “It was nice,” he sighed. “But I knew we wouldn’t last. I know he wasn’t the person for me but I continued it anyway. I’ve hurt him,” he admitted.

“You feel like you used him,” Tony replied, thoroughly aware himself of filling the time with company he didn’t much care for and filling his bed with bodies he knew would amount to nothing. Loki nodded, looking at Tony across the table as though he were challenging him to reprimand his actions. “That doesn’t make you a bad person. You were grieving.”

The oddly hopeful expression that had crossed Loki’s face faded to disappointment as he took in Tony’s words. “It had been over a year since I lost _them_ ,” he bit out. “That is no excuse.”

Tony knew that _them_ meant his children. In Loki’s eyes he could see the barely suppressed despair threatening to overtake him as he tried to talk calmly about what was still ripping him apart. He was determined to punish himself for everything, Tony could see that now. That must have been why he was so defensive the first time Tony taunted him about Fandral because it was painfully obvious how Fandral felt about Loki, who would never be able to return that affection. 

“Grief isn’t just physical loss and time means shit when it comes to healing. You didn’t just lose them, you lost the person you thought would always be there, you lost that stability, the future you believed in. That doesn’t stop hurting because other people think you should be over it.” Loki’s eyes were fixed on him now, mouth in a thin line, sitting as still as a stone. “No, it isn’t nice what you did to Fandral but you have been honest with him since, you’ve told him that it wouldn’t work. But do you want to know what I think?”

“What?” Loki rasped.

“I think you’re worried someone’s going to get close to you again and you’ll lose them too.”

The weight of his stare was almost unbearable but Tony didn’t dare look away. He willed Loki to let him in. Urged him to believe the words he was saying. 

“Maybe,” he said. 

He blinked and the connection was broken. Air flooded back into the room as Tony was spared a laborious death in the glittering green pools that were Loki’s eyes. 

“Honey, I wrote the rulebook on abandonment issues, believe an expert when you meet one,” he flashed him his signature grin and was pleased to receive a half-hearted smile in return. “And you’re stuck with me now so you better get used to it, we have a deal remember? Which reminds me, it is time for you to deliver on your end of the bargain. First things first, that party you agreed to go to is two weeks Saturday, we are heading up on Friday. Now get yourself ready because we are going for a drive.”

Loki looked bewildered, still catching up with the abrupt change of tone back to casual conversation. “Where to?”

“Just the tower, I want to show you what I’ve been working on. Chop chop.”

Tony clapped his hands together and was pleased that Loki didn’t question him any further, instead stacking up their empty plates and heading towards the kitchen.

* * *

Loki was breathless when he made it to the kitchen, thankful for a few moments respite away from the intensity of the living room scene. He had just confessed something to Tony that he hadn’t even shared with Natasha or Darcy and he actually felt better for it? That was new. Even more new was the urge he had felt to share. He loathed vulnerability in himself, reminded of his youth spent begging for his father’s love and wondering why it was only half-heartedly returned, but that regretful weakness was forgotten with Tony. The man made him feel that his vulnerability was something to be celebrated, not feared and buried. A realisation that caused fear to flare in him once again, this time for an entirely different reason.

Now he had about thirty seconds to compose himself before Tony ushered him out the door. Thankfully, he was still an excellent liar when he wanted to be. 

“Don’t you have a dishwasher?” Tony asked, eyeing Loki quickly rinsing their plates in the sink.

“We don’t have a television but you expect us to have a dishwasher,” Loki said, arching an eyebrow at him and convincing Tony easily that he was perfectly fine and that his heart wasn’t hammering in his chest. 

“I also expect you to have a driving licence but seems like I am going to be sitting on that one for a while.”

“Why are you so bothered that I don’t drive?” But his question faded away as Tony picked up a tea towel and started to dry the dishes on the draining board. “What are you doing?”

“You’re about to step into my world so I might as well dip a toe in yours.” That grin was far too charming for Loki’s over-active heart. “Besides, the quicker you’re done the quicker we can leave.”

He was right about that. It took less than half the time as normal, although Loki may have left the saucepan he had made the sauce in soaking in the sink but he would drop Darcy a text to apologise. She was sure to be at least three drinks in by now so by the time she stumbled home he doubted very much she would be able to remember what a sink was let alone complain about the dishes not being fully cleaned. Every Friday night the teachers from her school braved the pubs and clubs to remember their own youth and forget about the vomit they had to wipe up that day or the rude word they had to convince a five-year-old to stop screaming. 

The drive to the tower was very quiet. Tony’s driver had been parked around the corner the entire time he had been inside Loki’s apartment, waiting for him whenever he needed. Happy seemed nice enough and made no gesture to suggest that he knew who Loki was even though he definitely knew which was refreshing. He and Tony shared passing conversation as they drove while Loki kept his eyes on the lights flashing by.

It was an odd feeling stepping back into Tony’s penthouse without the tug of business bringing them together. The space was largely bare and there were few possessions to actually suggest someone lived there full time. But he wasn’t given much time to dwell on the fact because Tony had grabbed his wrist, directing him towards the thin staircase nearby. The contact was only brief yet he couldn’t help but think that just a few centimetres further down and Tony would have been holding his hand.

At that thought, Loki was only too pleased to see the man produce a bottle of scotch and two glasses as they made it to the bottom of the stairs. 

“And this is where the magic happens,” Tony declared, throwing the glass doors open impressively.

And really it was some kind of magic. Loki’s eyes widened as he stepped into the room, careful not to touch anything. 

“All of this is you?” he said in awe.

“Me and this guy,” Tony replied, tapping his head. He was clearly thrilled by Loki’s reaction.

There were wires and chunks of metal everywhere. Some projects looked close to completion while others looked abandoned at phase one. There was an assortment of paints and spray-paints in one corner of the room while another was taken up by the body of a motorbike, its wheels laying detached beside it on the floor. A few scraps of paper littered one surface but Loki was drawn towards another table whose surface was glowing faintly. 

Tony saw where his attention had gone and said, “FRIDAY, do your thing.” Instantly the table came to life, projecting complex images around the room full of diagrams, graphs and Tony’s own scrawled writing. “Helps me keep track of a lot of ideas at once,” he explained.

“And you can understand all this?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “I created an artificial intelligence and you’re still surprised that I can sketch some ideas.”

“I’m not surprised,” Loki began. “I’m…” But he couldn’t seem to decide on exactly what he was.

With a grin that made his eyes glitter, Tony poured some of the golden liquor into a tumbler and passed it over to him. “Want me to tell you about it?”

“Yes,” Loki said, taking his eyes off the dancing displays and focussing them again on the wonderful man in front of him.

Really, he thought, after Tony had been talking solidly for twenty minutes, surprised just wasn’t the right word. It did not do justice to the magnificence of his brain. Loki always knew the man was intelligent and had always believed in his talents from the first time he entered Tony’s teenage bedroom and saw his walls pasted full of his ideas. There was something in the way he spoke. The way his eyes lit up like a child’s at Christmas, the way his hands were perfectly still as he showed Loki certain prototypes but immediately started to shake and jitter once he had put it down because his excitement was overwhelming his senses. The way he explained things once and then explained them again because he wanted Loki to understand, he wanted him to be a part of what he was creating, not just an interested party on the side. His brain was electric and Loki relished in its shock.

“You think you could build a rocket now?” Tony asked him a few hours later, tinkering away at one of his workbenches with what Loki assumed was some kind of circuit.

“Maybe with some assistance,” he said, stretching where he sat on a spare wheelie chair that Tony had dug out for him. He yawned and checked his watch. “I should leave, I didn’t realise how late it is.”

“Stay the night,” Tony said, not moving his eyes off the wires he was disentangling.

“What?” 

“It’s late, we have both been drinking, Happy will definitely have finished for the night, and I have a spare room.”

Loki was surprised by how readily he was to accept the invitation but he continued to resist. “I can get a taxi, it’s no trouble. I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“Loki, I am inviting you to stay.” 

Now Tony was looking at him with those eyes and that slight grin and he couldn’t help but delight in the way the man spoke his name. He knew he could protest some more and the outcome would be the same anyway because he really wanted to say yes. So instead of beating around the bush, he said just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two oddly specific headcanons I have for this story:  
> 1\. Loki can't drive and no one understands why he hasn't learnt yet  
> 2\. Tony is a Dolly Parton fan (revealed in one of my favourite scenes coming soon)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed and stay tuned for more goodness!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some mature content to open this chapter!

_Loki sighed at the contact, the feeling of blunt nails pressing into his hips. Lips kissed over his stomach before moving lower, ghosting over his exposed flesh until they finally made contact with the head of his cock. He moaned at the wonderful sensation of a warm mouth wrapping around his length. He buried his hand in soft hair and laid gentle pressure on the back of the head, guiding the rhythm until it suited him perfectly. Scents of vanilla and sandalwood filled his head. Dazedly, he blinked his eyes open, taking in the mess of brown hair that his fingers were tangled in and enjoying the sight of the head bobbing up and down. He sighed again and tightened his grip, slightly tugging at the strands of hair._

_Feeling the pull, the warm mouth removed itself from his cock and the head tilted up to meet his gaze. There was that signature grin he knew so well, this time framed by lips that were pinker and more swollen than normal. Golden brown eyes shone with arousal._

_“Tony,” Loki breathed, or moaned._

He jerked awake in a pool of sweat, his erection uncomfortable against the restraining fabric of his briefs. The room came into focus around him in the dim light. White walls, dark grey furniture, including the solid headboard he thumped back against as he sat up. A Stark Industries television was built into the wall opposite the bed. He groaned audibly as the realisation set in. He had just had a very vivid (and very enjoyable) sex dream about Tony. Not only that, he had had it in Tony’s guest bedroom. Fantastic. 

In his own defence, he thought, attempting to calm his racing thoughts, it wasn’t like he could control his subconscious. However, in this very moment, his subconscious was fixed on betraying him. The pleasant thrum of arousal still pulsed through his veins and he did little to resist placing a hand into the waistband of his underwear and removing his still hard cock. 

There was something oddly thrilling about holding himself in this intimate way in a space that belonged to Tony. Flashes of the dream rolled over in his head and his heartbeat quickened. He should not do what he wanted to do. Definitely not. Loki got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. A shower would sort him out. Wash away the memories of his dream. 

Unsurprisingly, the ensuite was immaculate, all smooth marble and sparkling clean glass. He immediately switched on the shower as he finally stripped out of his underwear and grabbed a towel from the cupboard under the sink. The heat of the water was enough to make him hiss as he stepped under the powerful jets. The room quickly filled with steam as the glass fogged. Behind the opaque screen, Loki’s hand began to wander again.

He couldn’t shake the feeling of Tony’s hands on him, his mouth wrapped around Loki. He knew it was a dream. He kind of wished it wasn’t. Tony was attractive, there was no denying that. If he was still half as good as he was in bed all those years ago then Loki would definitely be in for a treat. If Tony’s skills had been improved and refined since then, which Loki assumed they had, he would be ruined. Perhaps he already was. 

His head dropped back against the cold wall of the shower as he took himself in hand. With thoughts full of Tony, his calloused fingers, the slight scratch of his beard, the weight of his stare, the feel of his lips against Loki’s exposed flesh, it didn’t take him long to come apart under the cascading water. 

Out of the suffocating heat of the shower and dressed in his clothes from the night before, Loki opened the bedroom door and was thankful that all the lights were still off. At least he had time before Tony awoke to compose himself. He made his way into the kitchen, FRIDAY helpfully illuminating his way and lifting the blinds when he entered the main living space. 

“Thank you,” Loki said automatically, not realising until a second later that he had just thanked a computer.

“You are welcome, Mr Odinson,” came the crisp female voice in reply, causing him a slight jump of surprise.

“Just Loki is fine,” he said, wondering if a computer really cared that he cringed whenever he was referred to by his adoptive father’s name.

“Your preference has been noted, Loki. I have switched on the coffee machine and it is ready for use. I am sure Sir will join you shortly.” 

The first sip of coffee was heavenly. He wandered over to the huge windows overlooking Manhattan’s skyline and marvelled at what he saw. There was something beautiful about a city from above. You can see the intricate paths weaving between the buildings, the towering structures housing so many people that from this vantage point resembled ants scuttling about their business. 

Then a most horrifying thought occurred to him, interrupting the tranquillity of the cityscape below. Tony’s AI was imbedded into the building and likely had access to every room. What if it? She? Knew what Loki had done? What if she told Tony? He opened his mouth to demand the computer, who he didn’t understand and definitely had no authority over, remove all evidence it might have of his shameful exploits in the guest bedroom. 

A noise jolted him into movement. He turned in time to see Tony stumble into the room, eyes still thick with sleep and a gentle smile curling his lips. 

“Good morning sunshine,” he said, pouring himself a coffee and taking a swig immediately despite the steam rising from it. “Sleep well?”

Loki’s heart was already betraying him. It hammered inside his chest as he remembered exactly what he had just done in the man’s shower, and what he had dreamed about and how he wished that it was reality. His anxiety throbbed at the prospect that FRIDAY might have video footage of the whole thing. 

“Yes, thank you,” he managed, turning back to the view out the window.

Tony padded over. “Got much planned for today?”

“I have an informal meeting this afternoon and I believe Darcy has booked my time for a movie marathon,” Loki said. “Disney,” he added, rolling his eyes.

“Nothing wrong with a bit of Bambi but I’m much more of a Princess and the Frog man myself.” Tony grinned before singing, “I got voodoo, I got hoodoo, I got things I ain't even tried! And I got friends on the other side.” He swayed his shoulders and wiggled his eyebrows at Loki who couldn’t help but laugh.

“I haven’t seen that one,” he admitted. That warm feeling he had started to get whenever Tony sent a smile his way was starting to spread again.

“You haven’t seen?” Tony spluttered. “Make sure you watch that one tonight and I will check in to make sure.”

“Noted,” Loki said, finishing off his mug and setting it down on the coffee table. 

“A meeting on a Saturday though? That’s rough.”

“It’s informal. We are meeting in a local café, nothing very fancy.”

“Funny way to describe a date.”

“It’s not a date,” he insisted, a little more forcefully than he intended to. “The gentleman approached Yggdrasil about getting some support. He has two very young daughters that he adopted with his late wife and he is struggling.”

Tony released a low whistle. “That’s rough. I wish him and you guys luck.”  
“It’s down to you it can happen at all,” Loki said. “Without your funding we could never be where we are already and there is still so much further to go.”

“Hey, money grows on trees around here, I’d rather you put it to good use.”

Loki couldn’t be sure but it occurred to him that Tony looked embarrassed. Tony Stark didn’t do embarrassed, did he? He certainly didn’t do modest. Yet here he was looking rather sheepish as Loki complimented his generosity. The man got more confusing by the day. A fact that very unfortunately made him all the more appealing to Loki. 

“I should get going.”

“Before breakfast?” 

“I should probably check to make sure Darcy hasn’t choked on her own vomit,” he replied.

Tony pulled a face. “Yeah, please go check. We don’t need to be involved in anymore scandals at the moment.”

“I thought you loved a scandal,” Loki teased.

“Only when I’m in control,” Tony winked and he felt heat rise in his cheeks.

The lobby was quiet as he left. Neither the guards watching the elevators nor the bright faces behind the desks seemed to take any notice of his presence as he slipped out of the building and into the crisp city air.

* * *

It was an odd feeling to wake up knowing that Loki was sleeping in the room opposite his. Even odder was the pull in his chest to throw open the doors separating them and climb into bed next to him. As far as Tony was concerned, he was too old to have a crush. And that was the exact logic he used to convince himself that he didn’t have feelings for Loki. 

He clambered out of bed and stretched, enjoying the satisfying pops and clicks of his muscles. Throwing on a pair of sweats and an old band t-shirt that was so faded he didn’t even know what group it was supporting anymore, he left his bedroom with a yawn. 

Loki was already awake and was leaning against the long windows when he entered. His posture was relaxed and he cupped a mug of coffee between his palms, eyes on the wide expanse of city below. Tony’s smile grew as he took another step into the room. Unfortunately, with his gaze fixed on Loki, he forgot about one of his cabinets and proceeded to trip over its leg causing him to stumble and the man at the window to whip around. Damn expensive and trendy furniture for having oddly angled legs that were clearly a hazard. 

To his disappointment, Loki left about ten minutes later. Tony hadn’t really expected him to stay long; he had been shocked that he had accepted the invitation to stay the night at all. But he would have at least liked to have made Loki breakfast first. Or rather attempt to make breakfast, fail terribly in a way that would be sure to amuse Loki to no end, then, as he was being mercilessly teased, Tony would order a selection of delicious pastries from his favourite bakery and the day would be saved because he would be graced with Loki’s most genuine smile. The one he reserved for private moments, the one that barely curled his lips but made his eyes shine. The one that made him look vulnerable and entirely content.

Maybe Tony was letting his imagination run wild. More coffee would fix that. 

“You’re dressed,” was Pepper’s shocked first words to him an hour later as he walked back into his living room, now dressed in a clean and ironed shirt. 

“I’m all grown up now,” he shrugged with his usual grin. “Even managed to tie my own shoelaces.” He kicked out his foot to show her the neatly bowed laces. 

“Are you going somewhere?” she asked, still looking his outfit up and down. White shirt, pressed trousers and of course, because he was Tony Stark and didn’t understand the concept of subtlety, paired with deep red sneakers. 

“We are going for brunch.”

“What?” 

But Tony was already steering her back towards the open elevator door.

“Can’t a boss treat the new boss that is soon to replace him without it being a big deal?”

“They could,” she reasoned. “If they weren’t you.”

He nodded. Touché.

Their ride to the lobby was quiet but Tony could feel the heaviness of Pepper’s stare on the side of his face the whole short journey to his favourite café and only looked away when the waiter came to take their order.

“There’s something different about you,” she said, taking a sip of her orange juice. 

“Is it the beard? I think I shaved it a little too short on this side,” he said, examining his reflection in the back of a spoon.  
“Happy told me you had company last night.” He didn’t even know why he bothered to act shocked. Of course, Happy ratted him out. “And that company didn’t leave until this morning. Looking quite flushed apparently. But you know Happy, he could easily be mistaken.”

Flustered? Now Tony was all ears. 

“Alright,” he rolled his eyes. “Loki stayed the night but nothing _else_ happened.”

Pepper eyed him disbelievingly. “So Loki spends one night with you and –”

“Nothing happened,” he insisted.

“If nothing happened then something _definitely_ happened,” she countered deftly. Tony was screwed, he could feel it. “Tony Stark does not ask very attractive people to spend the night unless other, less savoury activities are on the cards. The fact that you didn’t sleep with him tells me that this is something different.” She was smirking now and Tony was very much regretting his generosity. 

Their poached eggs arrived along with two pots of coffee and a rack of toast. He busied himself with pouring the coffee and generously salted and peppered his eggs. 

“Is he why you’re making all this effort? If I didn’t know any better I would say you are dressing to impress,” her tone was teasing. She cut into one of her eggs and let the yolk pour over her toast. 

“It’s a good thing you don’t know any better then,” he replied, voice light. “Because I am dressed up to have brunch with you, not Loki. You complain I only have two outfit options, complete scruffs or thousand-dollar suits. I’m just proving to you that I have a middle ground.” 

“Oh, come on Tony, lighten up. Why can’t you just admit you like him?”

“Right, that’s it,” he said, getting to his feet dramatically. “I’m going back to the tower to change. Enjoy your lonely brunch and don’t forget to tip.”

He wasn’t really going to leave but who would he be if not a showman. You had to give the crowd something to keep them on their toes. Sure enough, all the eyes in the café had turned to their table. Pepper shot daggers at him but he managed to catch the slight twitch of her lips. 

“Sit down, you idiot,” she hissed, glaring at his chair until he resumed his place. Tony took a bite of his now cold eggs with disappointment. Then Pepper was smiling and he knew he was back in the danger zone again. Damn this woman and her uncanny ability to see through every lie he told himself. “It’s nice to see you with a crush again.”

He groaned dramatically, clonking his head against the table top and once again attracting the attention of the room. “I’m not seven galavanting in a playground trying to pull some blonde’s pigtails.” 

Pepper ignored his petulance and pressed on. “He’s why you’re attending meetings, isn’t he? You’re getting more sleep too and I haven’t seen you drunk in a few weeks.”

“Stop looking at me like that,” he grumbles.

Inside, however, his heart skipped as Pepper’s expression changes from one of hesitance to joy. She approved of whatever it was he was feeling. Or what he might feel if he actually bothered to examine the weight that had settled in his stomach a few weeks before and had refused to shift ever since. 

“Fine, I’ll drop it. But don’t wait too long, okay? Neither of you are patient men.”

Understatement of the century maybe but Tony didn’t bother to comment. Instead he said, “yeah, so I need to ask you a favour.”

The change of his voice to a delicate, buttery tone made Pepper’s eyes narrow. “Now we get to the real reason why you’ve brought me out. What do you want?”

“I need you to find a room for Loki in my hotel for the Stark Industries anniversary party.”

She released a deep, frustrated sigh. “Those rooms were booked up weeks ago. You know how far in advance we have to organise this.” Tony could tell he was in for a full-blown rant. Her nostrils flared and she was so distracted she didn’t even hear the waiter offer her more juice. “Every year I ask you if you want any extra rooms reserved for personal guests and every year you say no. As your assistant I do as I am told. There are no rooms left. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I forgot,” he said honestly, cringing a little at the glare he received. “Come on Pep, please. Work the magic that I know runs through that pretty head of yours.”

“You can’t flirt your way out of this.”

“I can try.”

He raised his eyebrows and winked at her very slowly and deliberately, making sure to poke his tongue out slightly at the corner of his mouth, his lips turned up in a smirk. 

“You look ridiculous,” she said, voice deadpan. But then the façade cracked as a slight smile curved her lips.

“You are the best woman in the world!” He cried, reaching across the table to plant a kiss on her forehead.

Tony might have omitted the detail to Loki that the party he had invited him to attend was in fact the huge annual extravaganza to celebrate the anniversary of Howard Stark founding Stark Industries. There was part of him that worried that if he had been honest then Loki would have refused to come. Tony might have used their little deal to give him extra leverage to convince Loki to attend but even without that excuse, he was always going to invite him. 

The rest of the day he spent running over the previous night in his head. Loki’s indignant reaction to the assumption that Tony had left their dinner for a hook-up. Loki’s clear jealousy. Now that was definitely an interesting thought, one that made his stomach swoop. But then the evening had taken such an unusual turn and Loki had opened up and allowed himself to be vulnerable in front of Tony. He kept thinking about the way the man’s face had twisted in distress and the heartbreakingly hopeful expression he had tried to hide as Tony reassured him that he wasn’t a bad person. 

Tony rarely let anyone into his lab. But he had let Loki in. And Loki had understood him. He had listened. He had asked questions, questions that were inciteful. Spending time with Loki was like that first sip of coffee in the morning: always cheering and endlessly satisfying. Each second they had spent in his lab together he had fallen a little bit harder and that was only cemented more the next morning by the sight of Loki leaning against his window, soft expression on his face and his hair hanging somewhat unruly around his shoulders. 

Knowing Loki had been just across the hall as he lay in bed was something he never expected to happen. He had assumed that strict, work-prioritising, boundary-protecting Loki would have refused his offer repeatedly until he had disappeared into the elevator leaving Tony deflated but not that surprised. But he had agreed to stay. Surely that meant something, right?

Pepper gave him a look across the table that told him she knew exactly what was going through his head. He was fucked.

* * *

The café was unsurprisingly crowded when Loki arrived. He managed to find a table in a distant corner from the door. With his back to the wall he could watch the room around him as he waited. He liked to watch how other people interacted and enjoyed reading their body language to work out their conversations even when they were out of earshot. He entertained himself in the intervening time by focussing on two women on the opposite side of the room. Both had large mugs full to the brim with a milky coffee that made him feel sick just at the thought but his mood was improved by the quick realisation that one of the two was desperately trying to flirt. Every attempt she made fell on deaf ears as the other chatted away, entirely unaware of how deeply she was desired. He definitely didn’t miss those games, he lied to himself just as his company walked through the door and spotted him immediately. 

“Have I kept you waiting long?” the man began apologetically.

“Not at all. Coffee?”

“Latte, but please let me pay. After all it is my fault that we have to meet on a Saturday.” Loki conceded with a polite smile, hiding his revulsion that the man had chosen his least favourite caffeinated beverage. “Next time it can be your treat.”

His eyes widened as the man shot him a very obvious look and he was suddenly struck by an ominous feeling that made him want to keep this meeting as short as possible. 

“You wanted to discuss the new education support system we are introducing. It is still in very early stages but we would be more than happy to support your children as we iron out the details. What are their names again?”

“You are quick to jump into business,” his guest replied, settling their cups of coffee on the table.

“That is why we are here, are we not?” Loki didn’t know why but he felt flustered by the intensity of the man’s gaze.

He smiled easily. “Nebula and Gamora.” 

“Unusual names,” Loki commented. “Mr-”

“Thanos, please,” he said, the smile not dropping from his lips. “And they are unusual girls.”

“I imagine the loss of their mother so young has been difficult for them,” he said, an uncomfortable lump settling in his throat.

Thanos sent him a sympathetic look but Loki knew he could only guess at the reason behind the slight shift in his tone. 

“I adopted these girls with my late wife. It has been difficult to grieve when I still have two mouths to feed and at their little age they are desperate for attention.”

Loki opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by his phone vibrating.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to put it on silent.” He intended to switch it off as soon as he picked it up but he paused when he saw who the text was from. Thanos must have guessed from the look on his face that he wanted to answer the message immediately.

“Go ahead,” he nodded, that slightly disconcerting smile growing wider. 

The message was very short. In fact, it didn’t say anything at all. Tony had sent him a gif of the man Loki assumed he had been mimicking earlier, singing the song about voodoo. He snorted and tucked his phone into his pocket. 

“Someone special?” Thanos asked, taking a gulp of his latte.

“Hmm,” Loki hummed absently, determined to get the meeting back on track.

Thanos, however, seemed to have very different ideas. He flicked his eyes over to Loki’s phone now stashed away and back to his face. “A StarkPhone. I suppose having Tony Stark as an investor has its perks.” His tone was overly friendly. Overly interested in Loki’s opinion.

“It was a gift,” he replied before he had really thought about what he was saying.

Thanos’s eyes lit up. “You must be close with the man. I must admit I did see the articles about how you two used to date.”

He wanted to leave. But the thought of those poor children, adopted children, who desired a good education and the same opportunities as everyone else rang in his head and glued him to his chair.

“Yggdrasil intend to hire an education manager to run the school schemes we hope to launch. I have interviews scheduled next week and I-.” 

“I’m being intrusive, please forgive me,” Thanos sputtered, interrupting him. “I suppose we can all fall victim to gossip sometimes. And, if I am being honest, I wanted to know if there was any truth in the rumours. You see,” he continued, his tone giving way to nerves. “I wondered if you would like to do this again. Informally.”

It took Loki’s brain a moment to catch up with the man’s intention. He blanched as the words sank in and he was sure he wasn’t quick enough to hide his shock from his face. Thanos’s expression fell and he felt a brief pang of guilt.

“I am sorry,” Loki said delicately. “I don’t think that would be a good idea. It would not be a good idea to mix professional engagements with personal relationships.”

Thanos stiffened. “Is that not what you are doing with Stark?” 

Loki’s mouth fell open but no words followed. He felt cornered, like this man could somehow see into his mind and read his every thought. The skills he had perfected over years of slight manipulations and easy lies fell away as Thanos’s intense stare broke through every layer of his usual facades. 

“I think this conversation has gotten outside the realm of professionalism now and I am going to leave. If you would like to still receive support from Yggdrasil, please give our offices a call.”

With that Loki got up and walked out of the café, leaving his half-drunk cup of coffee on the table. He didn’t realise until he was halfway down the next street that he was shaking. The uncomfortable weight of Thanos’s eyes boring into him followed him all the way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for reading and reviewing and kudosing, you all mean so much to me!


	15. Chapter 15

“How was your coffee date?”

Loki glanced over to Tony in the driver’s seat. The man’s eyes were on the road ahead, hidden behind tinted glasses. The glare from the setting sun flooded the car with orange late as they sped towards the hotel.

They hadn’t seen each other since Loki spent the night at the tower but they had texted often. His Disney night with Darcy had proved a good distraction from his uncomfortable meeting with Thanos and, as promised, he had messaged Tony that night to assure him that he had watched The Princess and the Frog and loved it. Safe to say the man was thrilled. Thrilled to the point that he impulsively created a TikTok and posted a rendition of himself lip-syncing to the entirety of ‘Friends on the Other Side’ which naturally broke the internet. Tony really was ridiculous. So ridiculous that Loki had watched the video at least ten times since just to remind himself of the man’s absurdity (not at all to marvel at the swing of his hips as he performed his own choreography to match). 

“Not a date,” he corrected, closing his eyes against the stream of light.

“That bad, huh?” He could hear Tony’s grin.

“So so. He called by the office to apologise.”

“I hope you threw him out.”

Loki snorted. “I’m all for second chances.”

He didn’t need to open his eyes to know that the man’s grin had turned into a smirk.

They reached the hotel as the sun dipped below the horizon bathing the sky in purple. A valet stepped up to the car immediately, opening Loki’s door as Tony climbed out the other side. He tossed the man the key with ease and Loki marvelled at how comfortable he was in this environment. A bellboy stepped up to unload their bags onto a luggage trolley, picking up Loki’s suit carrier and laying it carefully on top before doing the same with Tony’s, then followed behind them as they entered into the hotel’s foyer.

“Mr Stark, it is wonderful to welcome you back through our doors again,” the receptionist greeted brightly. 

“It’s good to be back,” he said, sauntering up and leaning casually against her desk as she started to type away on her keyboard.

“I have your reservation here. A double room, two guests, and expressed privacy as instructed by your secretary,” she shot them both a knowing look.

Loki frowned. _A double room_. As in one. Singular. A room. Two guests. Clearly Tony was thinking the same and immediately raised the questions speeding through his head. 

“I’m sorry, I think you have made a mistake. There should be two double rooms, each with one guest.”

“I will check our systems again.” She tapped away before looking back up at them. “I am sorry Mr Stark but the only room under your name is for the Honeymoon suite, booked for two guests for two nights. There is a note here saying that Miss Potts called yesterday to confirm the reservation.”

“Did she now?” Tony said, rubbing a hand over his goatee. Loki stood dumbly by his side. “Is there any chance that another room may be available?”

“Unfortunately not, Mr Stark, we are fully booked for the weekend. After all, you should know that the Stark Industries anniversary party is the event of the year. We have been booked up for months.”

Stark Industries anniversary party. Loki’s eyes widened as he turned to stare at Tony who did have the decency to look slightly apologetic. He knew from years of attempting to avoid seeing Tony’s name anywhere in the news that this was the one unavoidable event that he had been reminded of the man’s existence every year over their decade long estrangement. How could he have forgotten it was coming up? He remembered reading about it not many weeks ago but somehow he hadn’t put two and two together. 

“If it helps, it isn’t a big one this year. The big five-oh is next year.”

He sent Tony a look that said very clearly that it didn’t help one bit.

The receptionist stared between them, her hand suspended in mid-air, halfway through handing over the room key. To save her from herself, Loki reached out and took it. 

“Could we have another please?” he asked.

“Of course,” she replied immediately, reaching under the desk and retrieving an identical key that Loki shoved into Tony’s hand. 

“Shall we go up to the room or do you want to stand around here all night?”

“I-ugh,” Tony mumbled dumbly before turning and hurrying after Loki who had already strode off towards the elevator. “Are you okay with this?” he said finally as he caught up at the doors.

“We are adults, I think we can handle sleeping in the same bed for two nights. Mix-ups happen, it is hardly something to have a panic about.” He kept his tone curt, easily concealing his own rising panic. 

As the elevator door closed behind them he saw the receptionist breathe a sigh of relief and his lips twitched. He felt quite sorry for her that whatever deal she had to sign to not tell anyone about Tony Stark’s roommate prevented her from spilling what would have been the most thrilling story to her friends.

It wasn’t until they got to the room that the reality of what he had agreed to really struck him. Two nights sharing a bed with Tony. A beautiful bed with silky sheets and an oak frame that was intricately chipped away at so that the once-smooth columns resembled the grain of bark. It was beautiful, sensual. The exact opposite of what Loki needed. 

He felt a rising urge to dunk his head into an ice bucket. He was sure that room service would provide.

* * *

That woman had a nerve beyond anyone he had ever met and Tony knew that was the exact reason why he had hired her in the first place and why she was first choice to take over as CEO. She had guts and that’s what he liked in a person. He could give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that Pepper was right in her indignation at brunch when he asked her to find another room at such short notice for Loki to stay in. But he didn’t buy it. Pepper Potts was a miracle worker and if she didn’t work your miracle it was because she had specifically chosen not to. Really, he was impressed with her. Impressed and nervous as he led Loki into the honeymoon suite they now had to share and pretend that the room wasn’t built for the sole purposes of romance and sex. 

The bellboy appeared a few minutes later with their bags and took the liberty of hanging their suit carrier in the closet for them. 

“Please tell me that is your new sexy suit?” Tony teased, easing the tension that had settled between them in the time they had been left alone with their thoughts. 

“That is for the people to decide,” Loki shot back.

“My God,” he gasped dramatically. “Are you going to try and pull at the party I’ve invited you to? I’m so proud.’

He wasn’t. His heart hurt. 

Loki grinned at him, all teeth and bright eyes and he felt that dull ache resume within his abdomen as he busied himself with unpacking his bag.

“At what point were you planning on telling me that this is your party?” 

Tony turned to see he had stretched out on the right side of the bed. His t-shirt had riled up enough to expose a few centimetres of smooth alabaster skin. He quickly turned his back again. 

“I’m surprised you hadn’t already figured it out but then again I know how you love surprises.”

“I hate surprises,” Loki muttered.

“Liar. You like surprises as long as they’re good.”

“And you think this is a good surprise?”

“I guarantee it,” he said, turning enough to flash him a crooked grin.

Were they flirting or was Loki really acting this petulantly because he was slightly misled on a key detail of their trip? Tony didn’t know and he didn’t think he had the brain power to try and work it out at that moment. But if Loki was flirting then two could definitely play at that game. 

Picking up his tablet, he threw himself down on the bed beside Loki, stretching and letting out satisfied groans as he let himself relax against the pillows. He switched on the tablet and began tapping away at some new formulas he was working on. The numbers made no sense to Loki but Tony could still feel the other man shift slightly so he could watch what he was doing. He preened at the attention yet made no move to accommodate Loki’s interest. If he wanted to be involved he would have to ask.

It took exactly one minute before Loki lost his patience. 

“Have you begun work on the prototype yet?”

“I need to get these calculations right first. Don’t want any more explosions or Pep will ban me from the lab.”

Tony could feel the weight of Loki’s gaze shift from the screen onto himself. It was the first time they had been this close in weeks, close enough for Tony to pick up on the hints of mint and the scent of something distinctly floral that clung to Loki. 

“Can I be there when you test it?” he asked quietly.

“What, so you can be there to witness me potentially maim myself?” Tony laughed, turning to face him.

“No,” he replied, fiddling with the seam of the duvet. “Because I would like to see your creation. It was part of our deal after all.”

Tony’s face fell. If he actually had people skills beyond talking people into his bed and impressing other rich people into letting him do what he wanted, he would think that Loki was upset by his attempt at a joke. He would also guess that Loki did want to see his work very much and that his final comment about their deal was nothing more than a deflection away from his honesty. Not for the first time and definitely not the last, Tony felt like a bit of a dick.

“Hey, if you’re really interested you can be there every step of the way. I’ll even clear one of my benches so you can do your work too,” he replied enthusiastically. 

He still wasn’t used to the idea of someone actually being interested in his projects in a way that didn’t involve their own financial gain. 

“My colleagues may think I am being neglectful,” Loki said, his tone still hushed but his lips now formed into a half smile. 

Tony wasn’t used to getting what he wanted. Not in the way that everyone would expect anyway. Sure he wanted lots of sex and that was often what he got. Sure he wanted success and money and fame, three things he had in droves. But Tony wanted the happy ending. He wanted to big house on the hill with bay windows and a big bed filled by the same person every night who he loved and who loved him right back. 

He spent almost three years believing Loki was that person and even spent some time after that believing it too. Freezing and alone in the cave he tried to forget, his brain had often turned to the black-haired man that turned his life upside down. But that was past and this was now. And Tony was confused. He was starting to want again but his brain kept reminding him of how it ended the last time. With lies and tears and pain. He wasn’t sure he could go through that again. 

Yet here Loki was, wanting to be part of his life again, interested in his work, pushing him to be better, to believe in himself. He would be the world’s biggest idiot if he let his fear take that away from him. After careful consideration of his options, Tony made a mental note that night as he lay in bed with his back to Loki to _try_. 

Trying began with surprise breakfast. He awoke in the morning still on his side of the bed and with his hands thankfully kept to himself. As he climbed carefully out of bed, he stole a glimpse at the sleeping lump beside him. 

Black hair fanned across the pillow in a way that would definitely be considered unruly if it was anyone else but, because it was Loki, there was an elegance to it. Somehow Tony knew if he ran his fingers through it he wouldn’t hit any knots. Loki’s face was completely passive and entirely relaxed, one hand resting on the pillow next to him and the other on his stomach. He had chosen to sleep in a t-shirt and boxers overnight which had been excellent news because Tony had already been having enough issues controlling his body’s urges without having to hide the definite reaction it would elicit if he saw the man’s entire naked torso. 

Quietly, he slipped out of the room and by the time he had returned Loki was sitting up in bed, hair now a hanging mess of waves around his face. He smiled as Tony walked in.

“I thought you had left me for better company,” he said, arching an eyebrow at the boxes Tony was carrying. “What’s that?”

“I bought breakfast,” Tony replied, placing the boxes in front of him on the bed and sitting down opposite. 

Loki looked at him suspiciously. “You’re being very giving.”

“I thought I’d make up for not telling you about the whole anniversary party thing. And for not booking you your own hotel room.” He opened up the boxes revealing pains au chocolat, cinnamon swirls, blueberry muffins, pasteis de nata, and a selection of croissants. 

“I think you should be sorry more often if this is the treatment I get,” Loki said with wide eyes.

Tony grinned and offered him the box of croissants. He chose an almond one and picked up a napkin before biting into the flaky pastry and releasing a slightly obscene groan of delight. 

Before he did something he might regret, Tony said, “so what kind of treatment can I expect when you’re apologising to me?”

Loki took another bite of his pastry as he thought. “That implies I would ever do something wrong to need to apologise for.” 

Tony laughed. “You think you’re that innocent?”

The smirk on Loki’s face sent a shiver down his spine. 

“Oh definitely. You may even get to see my halo tonight.”

They made a valiant effort with the pastries but even with their sizeable appetites the treats bested them and those left were tucked away in their boxes for later. After that the day was rather dull. Loki disappeared for a walk as Tony was summoned into a video call with some of the top bosses at NASA who he still hadn’t learnt the names of. Almost two hours had passed by the time Loki re-entered their hotel room, face flushed from the crisp autumn air and with two takeaway cups in his hands. 

“Coffee,” he said, handing one of them to Tony before taking off his coat and hanging it on one of the hooks by the door. 

“Thanks,” Tony said, unsure as to why the simple act of being given a coffee was enough to set his body alight with a warm tension. “So who gets to use the shower first?”

Loki sipped his coffee, thinking. “Out of politeness for your guest I do believe I should get to go first.”

“That’s how you’re going to play it?” Tony grinned. “Doesn’t the amazing breakfast I provided you in bed this morning sway you another way?”

“And yet I have the longer hair and so will take longer to get ready.”

He already knew he was going to let Loki get his own way but doing this dance was worth it every time to see how he could poke and prod the other man into letting out amused sighs. His decision was quickly regretted after Loki took quite literally an age in the bathroom. Tony didn’t even have time to ogle at him in his towel as he left because he was now running exceptionally late for his own party that he had to open. 

Loki was still lounging in his towel when Tony left the bathroom now dressed in his crisp new suit, this time a navy-blue jacket and tie complimented by a grey check waistcoat. Despite his frustration that Loki was nowhere near ready, he very much enjoyed the moment as the man gave him his fullest attention. 

“Don’t you look ravishing,” Loki dared to say, voice dangerously sweet.

“Easy darling, we need to be downstairs for seven.” Loki pouted and oh how Tony wished they could skip the party altogether. “You aren’t even dressed yet.”

“Perfection takes time,” Loki smiled, brushing past him and disappearing back into the bathroom. 

“Perfection needs to be ready in thirty minutes,” Tony called after him. 

Ten minutes passed and the door remained firmly shut. Fifteen minutes and he finally heard the scream of a hairdryer. The hairdryer switched off as twenty minutes ticked into twenty-one. 

He didn’t want to be a dick. He really didn’t. But a second later he found himself hammering on the bathroom door. “Loki, we gotta go. I have five minutes before I need to be downstairs.”

“Just go,” came the reply, muffled through the solid wood of the door. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

“You sure?”

“Yes!” 

So Tony went, leaving behind Loki who was still locked in the bathroom. 

“Where’s your bed friend?” Pepper asked as soon as he entered the foyer.

“Still getting ready,” Tony sighed, straightening his tie and pushing a pair of tinted glasses onto his nose. “And don’t think you’re off the hook for that little stunt either,” he warned her. 

“Hey,” Pepper said, holding her hands up. “I said it was late notice to get another room. I thought you would be pleased for the company.”

“I’ll get back to you on that one. Let’s get this show on the road first.”

The ballroom doors were thrown open to tumultuous applause. Tony stepped out with his usual swagger and gusto, arms wide and grin fixed firmly in place. Pepper followed two steps behind as they made their way through the crowd towards the stage. Many circular tables were filled with clapping individuals while the rest of the guests had gathered on the dancefloor in the centre of the room, waiting impatiently for their turn to shake Tony’s hand or even give him a passing pat on the back. 

“Forty-nine years!” he whooped as he made it onto the stage. Pepper remained at the bottom of the steps, beaming up at him. “You all probably thought we would get bored by now, sell this old machine for parts and get the hell out. But we are still hear, still creating, still innovating and that isn’t going to change any time soon. My father, Howard Stark, quite literally gave his life for Stark Industries and I am proud to carry that name forward into the twenty-first century and beyond.” There was another round of applause at that and Tony paused to let his audience bask in the moment. “I-,” he tried to continue but was distracted by the door to the hall opening and the words died in his throat. 

There Loki stood finally dressed and ready for the party. And he looked fucking stunning. Tony forgot that he was on stage and the room had gone quiet in anticipation of his next words. He didn’t hear Pepper hissing his name. All he could see was Loki and Loki stared right back. 

“Tony,” Pepper said sharply.

“Wha-Oh yeah.” He dragged his eyes very reluctantly away and directed them back on the crowd in front of him. “The night is young and there is a free cocktail bar that I think we should all be hitting up. More speeches later but for now, welcome to the forty-ninth anniversary party of Stark Industries!” He cried, raising his hands as the room was once again engulfed in cheers and applause.

“What happened up there?” Pepper asked as soon as he was off the stage.

But Tony wasn’t listening. He was already pushing his way through the crowd to where Loki was now leaning against the wall beside the door.

“You’re a cruel man,” he said immediately.

Loki smirked at him. “I make this much effort and yet you are surprised that I make a proper entrance. Do you not know who I am?”

“Oh, I do,” Tony said, taking his time to look the man up and down. “You’re Loki fucking Odinson, drama queen extraordinaire, and the way you look should be criminal.”

Loki’s suit hugged his figure perfectly. The fabric was a rich royal purple and decorated with flowers, the green of the leaves complimenting the deep colour it was set against and the glittering shade of his eyes. He had foregone a waistcoat but kept one button of his jacket closed over his midnight black shirt, accentuating the curve of his hips and spine. 

Then there was his face. The sharp cheekbones that were softened by a slight pink blush. Was he wearing makeup? And his hair. Falling in delicate waves down to his shoulders except for the front strands on either side of his face that had been pulled back in intricate braids and held by a silver pin at the back of his head. 

Tony was sure of two things in that moment. One, that he wanted Loki more than he had ever wanted anyone. Two, this evening was going to be the death of him.

* * *

Loki continued to look very smug as he pushed himself off the wall and took a step towards Tony. 

He hadn’t actually intended to make an entrance and had certainly not meant to interrupt Tony’s opening speech. But the obvious look of desire on Tony’s face and the way he now raked his eyes over Loki’s body, he was pleased by the reaction he had received and his mind was reeling with possibilities that set his body alight.

“Shall we get a drink or do you need to mingle with your guests?” He asked, breaking the thick silence between them.

“Drink, definitely drink,” Tony insisted, laying a hand on his arm to guide him through the crowd towards the bar set against the opposite wall. “You’re here to keep me entertained tonight. Stop me from getting bored in conversations and saying stupid things that Pepper will make me regret.”

“Oh, so you didn’t invite me here out of the kindness of your heart?” Loki teased.

They reached the bar and Tony ordered two drinks so quickly that he didn’t catch what was in the glass that got handed to him about thirty seconds later.

“Of course not,” Tony grinned. “This trip is purely business.” He raised his eyebrows at Loki as he took a sip of his drink.

“Who exactly is invited to the most illustrious anniversary party of the year?” His barely suppressed sarcasm only made Tony’s grin widen.

“The usual,” Tony said, pointing out each group as he listed them. “Ambassadors for the company, staff and their partners, politicians, top military personnel.”

“The military?” 

“They are purely invited for entertainment value. I like to see how long they can butter me up before they try and pitch me a new contract for weapons manufacturing. The most satisfying feeling is rejecting a man who thought he had convinced you to sign.”

“You’re a twisted man,” Loki said.

“You love it,” Tony replied.

And, of course, he was right.

“Out of curiosity, do you make the guest list?” he asked suddenly, catching sight of a familiar face making their way towards them.

“Not personally, I give Pepper an idea of who to invite and she sorts the rest. Why?”

His question was answered immediately. No longer hidden behind his dark glasses, Loki caught Tony’s eyes widening as he recognised the face standing in front of them. 

“James,” Loki nodded.

“Loki, it’s great to see you,” Bucky replied. “I’ll admit I didn’t expect you to be here.”

“Nor I, you.”

He couldn’t deny that Bucky looked good standing there in his uniform. The last time he had seen the man it was watching him leave through a busy bar before Loki drank himself into a stupor and called Tony for help. That was the beginning of the chaos that had led him to this very moment and now Bucky was back, stature still that welcoming and face still that kind. He’d lost the sadness that had clouded his eyes on their last day together and Loki was grateful for that. 

The room was getting louder. Couples had started to gather on the dancefloor as a band had now set up on the stage, striking up a slow tune to ease the party-goers into the swing of things. The rest of the guests milled around at their tables or around the bar, chatting and laughing and paying no mind to what anyone else was doing. 

“I know it’s early in the night but I wondered if you would like to dance with me. It would be really nice to catch up.” Bucky startled as though he had only just noticed that Tony was there. “But I don’t want to steal you away.”

“No stealing,” Tony replied immediately, face set in an overly cheerful expression. “Have fun, kids. I’m going to do some mingling.”

Before Loki could say or do anything Tony had been swallowed into the crowd and was lost from view. With a hollow weight settling in his chest, Loki accepted Bucky’s offered arm with a gracious smile and accompanied him onto the dancefloor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bed sharing! Parties! Alcohol! Dancing! Exes! 
> 
> Thank you so much for all sticking with me, I'm enjoying writing this story a lot and it means the world that you're all still here!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a while coming but so much exciting stuff has been happening for me...I have had a proposal accepted for an academic journal so I am going to have an article I've written published this year! And just last week I was offered a new job after three intense interviews! 
> 
> I hope you're all well and that you enjoy this chapter, I can't wait to hear what you think. Thank you for sticking with me, you're all wonderful!

“Damn Loki moves quickly.”

Tony thought he had hidden himself well against the back wall where he maintained an excellent view of the dancefloor but was tucked into enough shadow that he wouldn’t be disturbed. A lapse on his part that he had forgotten about Pepper’s inhuman ability to sniff him out whenever he wanted to be avoided. There she was, beautiful gown hugging her figure in a layer of gold and one hand taken up by a martini glass.

“When you do the invites for these parties do you look up who you’re inviting?” Tony asked, his gaze not wavering from the pair revolving round the dancefloor. 

“Why? What’s your problem with the guestlist this time?” Pepper sighed, preparing herself for the usual ramble she had to endure every party.

“That man there is James Barnes,” he said. “He is Loki’s ex and became his ex on the day of Loki’s mum’s funeral.”

“Oh shit.”

“Yep. Bottoms up I think.” He downed the rest of his drink and placed it on a nearby table. 

“I had no idea,” Pepper said, sipping her martini. “I sent out the usual invites to the military and I heard Steve was back so I sent him two tickets. I thought you’d be pleased to see him.”

“Steve, yes. Loki’s ex, I’m undecided.”

“I’m not spending my whole night watching you sulk.”

“Fine,” Tony pouted. “May I have this dance, Miss Potts?” he asked in his most sickly-sweet tone.

She rolled her eyes but gladly accepted his proffered arm as he escorted her onto the dancefloor. 

There was a ripple around the room as their host re-emerged from where he had disappeared to and began to twirl his assistant around the floor. He hoped that Loki’s eyes were one of the many pairs now tracking them although he told himself he had too much pride to turn around and check. Instead he took Pepper’s hand in his and placed the other on her waist and tried to remember a time when his life didn’t feel like a poorly-timed drama turned romcom. 

He sometimes found himself wishing that things had worked out with Pepper because it would have made life so much easier. They would have been the epitome of power couple. They had tried too many times and Tony finally realised he had been kidding himself into believing what he felt for Pepper was romantic love rather than a deep affection that encompassed every type of love except the one he craved most. Now she was happily in love with someone else and he was happy for her. Tonight was just another night to be reminded of everything he could have and everything he always seemed to be losing. 

The song was soft and Tony didn’t recognise it. Usually he was strictly in charge of music for his events, especially the anniversary party, but the pressure of the new NASA contract had pushed it out of his mind enough for Pepper to swoop in and ensure that Black Sabbath and Guns N Roses weren’t the only tracks on demand throughout the night. 

“Are you ready for the speech?” Pepper asked quietly into his ear. 

“Never been readier for anything in my life,” he grinned against her shoulder.

Did he have a thing for people taller than him? It was something he had never thought about before. When you tallied it up there was Pepper who was a couple of inches taller, Loki who was roughly a head taller, his brief passing crush on Steve. The numbers didn’t lie and as a scientist he was all about statistics. 

“It’s not too late.”

Tony twirled Pepper again before pulling her back towards himself in a graceful movement. “Pep, I was sure before I even asked you. We signed the paperwork. I can guarantee I will wing my speech when I get up there but I promise I’m sure. You’ll be a hell of a CEO and I couldn’t think of anyone better to take care of my baby.”

She didn’t reply. She smiled and squeezed his hand. 

They continued to waltz and that’s when they both caught a burst of laughter nearby. Tony knew that laugh. He glanced round enough to see Loki smiling at Bucky as his burst of joy ebbed away into contentment. As he turned back he caught Pepper’s eye. Why did he offer her a dance when there was a perfectly good bar nearby he could drown his sorrows in and he wouldn’t have just had to witness that painful display?

“You’re bothered,” Pepper said knowingly.

“I don’t own him,” he replied more sharply than he intended, more than aware of what and who she was referring to. 

“No, but you want him.” 

“If I say yes will you stop bugging me?”

Pepper pressed her forehead against his. “Maybe if you get over yourself and just tell him how you feel.”

“I can’t,” he mumbled, closing his eyes to shield himself from the intensity of her stare. 

“Why not?” After a few seconds pause in which Tony pretended he hadn’t heard the question, she answered for him. “You’re worried he’s going to turn you down.”

He pulled back. “I wouldn’t exactly blame him.” 

“Will you stop feeling sorry for yourself and step up!” Her voice was louder than he had expected. Enough to catch his attention and a few of the couples revolving nearby. “You’re Tony Stark, you’ve picked yourself up from more knockbacks than anyone and done it with swagger and a smirk. The song’s ending so get your ass over there and do something.”

When the song finally reached its last lingering beats and they let their hands drop, Pepper shoved him towards the edge of the dancefloor where he could see Loki sat alone at a table. Alone. That was surprising. Tony had at least expected a struggle to prise him away from his dance partner. 

Loki jumped as he sat down. Clearly, he hadn’t expected to be disturbed. 

“All good?” Tony asked, wishing he had something to do with his hands. He made do with adjusting his cufflinks to distract himself from the pensive expression on Loki’s face.

“Yes, thank you,” Loki replied politely. They sat in silence watching as Pepper was asked to dance and was swept back onto the floor. “Another drink?”

“Got my big speech in a few minutes. Have one ready for after?”

Loki nodded and Tony was disappointed to see that the man’s brief smile didn’t reach his eyes. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Positive,” Loki said. He got to his feet in one annoyingly graceful motion. “I’ll have a scotch on the rocks ready for your return. Good luck with your speech.”

Then he was lost in the sea of people leaving behind the floral aroma that had flooded their bathroom earlier that night and a lingering sense of yearning and despair. 

God this party sucked.

* * *

Bucky Barnes was not the person he had expected to see at this party. Really, he was the last person Loki had wanted to see. Besides Odin, maybe Thor, obviously Fandral – Bucky was definitely up there in the top five. Judging by Tony’s reaction, Loki’s ex-boyfriend was also the last person he had expected to attend his own party. 

In Loki’s mind the party was not off to a good start. He could hardly refuse the man the dance he had offered so Loki followed Bucky to the dance floor and allowed him to place a hand on his hips and the other around his own. 

They revolved on the spot, Loki ensuring there were a few centimetres between their bodies. It had been a long time since he had been asked to dance and even though he may not have gotten his first choice of partner, the experience was actually quite pleasant. The familiarity of Bucky’s body close to his own hadn’t been lost to him yet as he relaxed into the man’s touch.

“Are you Tony Stark’s date for the evening?” Bucky asked.

“This event is purely business. I was contractually obliged to be here.” Loki couldn’t see Bucky’s face to know if his lie had been believed. “What brought you here?”

“Steve,” Bucky huffed a laugh. “He has been an amazing support through my rehabilitation. Hopefully it won’t be too long before I can resume active duty.” 

He caught sight of Loki’s confused expression and moved the hand resting on his waist so that he could see. 

Through the thick fabric of his suit jacket he hadn’t been able to feel the cool metal against his skin. Bucky’s arm was largely hidden by his own jacket yet Loki could make out the bumps against the fabric that told him that the metal extended the length of his arm and up over his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry,” Loki said quietly. “I had no idea that happened to you.”

“Yeah, well, after our last conversation I didn’t really think you would appreciate a call telling you my arm had been blown off.” He shrugged. “And I’m doing good now.”

“Yes, I suppose you are right.”

It wasn’t that he wanted Bucky back to try again, there was just something comforting about having him close. Like a sliver of his old life still existed despite the earth-shattering loss of his mother that had started him on a path he had never dreamed of taking. 

“You’ve been attracting a lot of Press attention recently,” Bucky commented.

“The perks of working with Tony,” Loki replied with a sarcastic smile.

“Do you think that was a good idea?”

Truthfully, Loki still wasn’t sure but he was hardly likely to admit that. He felt his smile slip anyway. “His investment has transformed Yggdrasil. I am very grateful for him.”

He was many other things for Tony Stark too, although that was another conversation entirely. 

The song hit its crescendo and began to ease into its mellow final notes. Bucky took the opportunity to twirl Loki once in a surprise move that left him laughing.

“You seem happy,” Bucky said. “Keep looking after yourself.”

Loki’s laughter faded as he caught the man’s gaze settling on a point over his shoulder. He turned to see Tony waltzing with Pepper. She really was the belle of the ball in her elegant dress and her arms wrapped around the most desired man in the room. And, well. Tony was everything. Inventor, business man, showman and, in this moment, gentleman. 

A sigh escaped his lips and he felt Bucky’s grip on his hand tighten minutely before he let go. The song had finally reached its end. 

“I need to go find Steve,” Bucky said and Loki found he was irritated by the man’s apologetic tone. “Hopefully we can catch up some more later.” 

As Bucky made to turn away, he placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder with his fingers brushing the exposed skin of his neck. The gesture was too tender and only served to annoy Loki more. 

“Life is more than the past, Loki. You’re better than this place and these people.”

Then the contact was gone and he was left alone on the dancefloor.

He was lost in thought at a table by himself when Tony joined him. Loki didn’t notice his new company until he spoke and caused him to jump. 

It was easier to tell Tony that he was okay rather than attempt to voice the chaos of emotions swirling inside of himself. He could hardly turn around and say that Bucky thought Loki was too good to be in Tony’s company, physically and in terms of Yggdrasil’s joint venture with Stark Industries. 

He owed Tony so much already. Without him Yggdrasil wouldn’t be what it is now. He had been a great comfort at his mother’s funeral. Tony hadn’t had to pick him up when he was drunk and make sure he got back safely the next day. He hadn’t had to invite him to a talk at their old school. He hadn’t had to invest in Loki’s company. But he had wanted to. And the flutter that Loki felt as he thought those words made him realise that Bucky was wrong. 

A sudden hush overtook the room as he collected their fresh drinks from the bar. A spotlight blazed into life to illuminate Pepper in the centre of the stage. She said a few preliminary words before there was another echoing round of applause as Tony twirled onto the stage. Quite literally twirled.

Drama queen, Loki smirked. 

“All right settle down,” Tony called as the thundering continued. He smiled widely. “Finally, you all get what you came for, to see me up on this beautiful stage giving a speech about how great Stark Industries is and how you’re all the best for being here to help us celebrate.” A smattering of claps and catcalls followed. “But this year our celebrations are going to be a bit different because I have a very big announcement to make. Something we at Stark Industries have been working on for some time now and it is time to let you all in on the big secret.”

Loki had been relaxing against the bar, observing with amusement at how well Tony was able to work a crowd. That man was born to be a showman. When Tony’s tone shifted into the realm of somewhat serious and he hinted towards an announcement, Loki felt himself inhale sharply with the rest of the room as he waited impatiently for all to be revealed. He wracked his brains of any hints Tony may have dropped about it but he came up short of any solid ideas. 

“I don’t think there is any point in depriving you any longer so let me just say it. I am stepping down as CEO of Stark Industries.”

The reaction was immediate. And predictable. Loki managed to spare a brief thought for the poor journalists who had been denied access to this prestigious event and were instead gathered at a twenty-metre distance from the front doors of the hotel. He was sure there would have been a casualty in their rush to get to the front of the stage and accost Tony with their questions. 

“It is an honour and privilege to announce that my successor is Miss Pepper Potts,” Tony called over the uproar. 

He stepped to the side of the stage and took Pepper’s hand. They exchanged smiles, hers closed lipped and tearful, his wide and stuffed with glee.

The next ten minutes passed in a blur of more words, the guests snapping pictures on their phones and flooding the internet with news before the Press could get hold of it and take all the credit. Really Loki applauded Tony for his dramatics. He certainly knew how to wind up the establishment. 

He sank back into his chair by the dancefloor and perhaps the world was destined to repeat itself because there was Tony beside him again, taking the scotch Loki hadn’t realised he had still been holding.

“Surprise,” Tony said lamely, swigging his drink with relish.

“Surprise,” Loki repeated, eyes fixed on the stage where the band were resuming.

“I wanted to tell you.” Tony sat down beside him. “This has been such a huge shit-show to sort out and keep quiet. It is a relief to finally say.”

“You’re retiring?” Loki asked. He couldn’t wrap his head around what he was hearing. 

“Hell no! Stark Industries will always belong to me but this move takes all the heat off me for important decisions and paperwork that I have never been bothered with. It means Pep no longer has to chase me down to sign documents that I never bother to read anyway and I can keep inventing without the pressure to attend meetings I don’t want to attend. So basically, I can carry on as I am now, except I now have a valid excuse to skip all the meetings I should have been attending. It’s a win win.”

Tony’s grin was infectious and Loki reluctantly matched it with his own half-hearted attempt.

“I wish you had told me. I hate secrets,” he said sulkily. 

“I know you do.” Tony jostled his arm. “How about a dance to make it up to you? And hopefully it’ll get you out of whatever funk Bucky worked you into.”

He really was too smart for his own good. 

“Come on, Loki,” Tony implored, swaying from side to side as a new song began. His face lit up as he recognised the tune. “This is one of my favourites! Get up off that seat right now.” 

The song was vaguely familiar to Loki though he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. Then the voice started to sing. 

“Dolly Parton?” 

“A national treasure!” Tony cried in a rush. He was lip-syncing now and waving his arms wildly.

“People are staring,” Loki mouthed.

“My party, my rules. You either get with Dolly or hit the lobby.”

And really, he already knew what he was going to do. The allure of Tony shaking his hips in a crowded room and knowing the only person he wanted to dance with right now was him made the fire reignite inside himself again after Bucky’s words had doused it.

In the time it took for Loki to get himself up and join Tony in the centre of the dancefloor where he had retreated to, the man had already devised specific moves for the chorus. 

_“Two doors down, they’re laughing and drinkin’ and having a party,_ ” Tony sung loudly, pulling Loki towards him. _“Two doors down, they’re not aware that I’m around.”_

His joy was infectious and Loki allowed himself to be taken along with the music and the wild shapes that Tony threw his arms into. The room was alight with laughter as one by one the guests flooded the floor, dancing and drinking. 

Loki couldn’t remember how much he had had to drink. A wonderful buzz hummed through him. The air was too warm and sticky, the party loud and unfiltered, but the way that Tony was beaming across at him as they both moved to the beat made all the unpleasant aspects of the evening melt away.

Then the track faded. A hush overtook the room as couples paired off and swayed to the softer beat. Tony was staring at him, stationary now with his hand outstretched.

“For old time’s sake?” he offered.

Loki took his hand and went willingly into the man’s arms. They revolved in a small circle, waltzing to the band’s rendition of The Drifters’ ‘Save the Last Dance for Me’. Tony mouthed along to the song and his breath tickled the skin of Loki’s neck. 

“Do you get to dance much?” he asked.

“It has been many years,” Loki replied, fighting the urge to tighten his fingers around Tony’s.

“Did you miss it?” 

Tony hesitated before he finished his question and Loki wondered what he had been going to say. He knew what he hoped Tony would say. Did he miss them dancing together? Yes. Irrevocably yes. No sensation could compare to the gentle press of their bodies as they surrendered to the tune. They were such unique moments. The world would melt away, the stresses and the noise, every other person near them, the very room that contained them. It was never about sex or specifically about being romantic. It was closeness. The knowing that when they held each other they were the only people that mattered. It was comfort. 

“Yes, Anthony. I did.”

Tony stiffened against him. He lifted his chin to meet Loki’s eye before settling back into the rhythm. 

They didn’t say another word to each other until the song ended. There was a tension in Tony as he drifted off to say good bye to some guests that were heading back to their rooms. 

“I’m sorry about the room situation,” Pepper said, sitting down in a chair opposite his own. “Tony has very poor communication skills.”

“I am well aware of that,” Loki said. 

They both looked over to him shaking hands and kissing cheeks. Tony caught them looking and grinned. When the guests moved towards the doors, he made his way over.

“What are you two gabbing about?” he asked, back to his usual jubilance. 

“The wonder that is you, of course!” Pepper said, rolling her eyes and patting him sympathetically on the arm.

“I’m ready to retire,” Loki interrupted. “I expect you-”

But he was cut off by Tony saying, “great. Let’s go.”

He turned to bid Pepper good night and Loki could have sworn they shared a look. He had assumed that Tony would stay till the very end of the night, or at least a little longer as the room was still bustling with activity. All night he had been preparing himself for the inevitable reality that he would head up to their room alone and the next time he would see Tony would be late the following morning as he snuck back into their room after spending the night occupied elsewhere. 

The more time he spent with Tony, however, the more Loki was realising that a lot of what the media spread about the man was false or else greatly exaggerated. It was with a lighter heart that he stepped into the elevator to carry them back up to their room.

* * *

They kept the lights low as they got ready for bed. Tony stripped down to his undershirt and boxers while Loki was in the bathroom. The tap switched off and the door opened to reveal Loki in an even greater state of undress. His suspicion that Loki had been wearing makeup was almost confirmed as his skin had now lost its glisten and his eyelids no longer shone as he blinked. Not that it mattered. He was still ridiculously gorgeous and Tony unashamedly ran his eyes up and down the tall, slender figure before him clad only in underwear.

The previous night had been far more awkward. Loki had gotten ready for bed in the bathroom as he had done tonight but yesterday he had insisted on sleeping in a t-shirt which meant that Tony had had to do the same. He was very much a person who preferred to sleep in the nude so what had begun as an awkward night had morphed into the realm of downright uncomfortable as he forced himself to resist the urge to constantly toss and turn while he forced his brain away from more unsavoury thoughts, thoughts like what the skin of Loki’s chest felt like, or the curve of his lips against Tony’s own.

Luckily, they were both marginally tipsy which made it far easier to shrug off his very obvious appreciation of Loki’s body. The man smirked at him as he crawled under the bedclothes with a sigh. Tony hurried into the bathroom and brushed his teeth in a frenzy before tossing his undershirt to join the rest of his suit draped haphazardly over a chair, and climbed into bed. When he was settled, Loki reached over and dimmed the lights until the room was engulfed in darkness.

Tony managed two minutes of silence before he whispered, “Loki?” There was enough of a gleam reflecting through the curtains from lamps illuminating the outside of the hotel for him to make out a vague outline of Loki’s features.

“What?” Loki groaned.

“I’m not tired.”

“I don’t care.”

“Yes, you do,” Tony whined. “Let’s play a game.”

Loki shifted. “What kind of game?”

Tony grinned into his pillow. He knew that would get his attention. “Do you remember our first date?”

“You’re not serious?” 

“Twenty questions!” Tony said, amusement flooding his tone. “Remember how it works?”

“Vividly,” Loki said and Tony could hear his eyeroll. “You can start. Let’s get this over with.”

Despite Loki’s emphasised disgruntlement with the situation, Tony knew he was as amused and engaged about the game as he was himself. Anyone who had ever met Loki knew he wanted to know everything about everyone, he just liked to do it in a backwards, gently manipulating manner that usually avoided uncomfortable situations where he was forced to admit he was actually interested.

The first question was easy. “Do you wear makeup?”

Loki’s answer was immediate. “Yes. When I feel like it, when I feel the occasion calls for it. When I am trying to impress.” His voice dropped an octave as he spoke the last few words and Tony thought he might be a few seconds from exploding. 

“Who are you trying to impress?” he asked, masking his urgency with mockery.

A hand came out of nowhere and swatted him on the arm playfully. “It is my turn to ask a question,” Loki teased. “Why do you let the media paint you as a harlot?”

“Because that’s what I am,” Tony said truthfully. Loki clicked his tongue and he conceded. “Fine, what I _was_. It wouldn’t matter if I cared what they printed because they’d do it anyway. At least my way I get to have some fun and mess with them. That’s why I didn’t let journos in tonight, I can’t wait to see the crazy headlines tomorrow. Question two for you, are you getting back with Mr Tall Dark and Handsome, James Barnes?” He deliberately filled his tone with sarcasm and to his relief Loki snorted. 

“Most definitely not.”

Tony waited for a few seconds before saying, “Wait! That’s all I get? No gossip? No drama? That was some serious dancing I witnessed.”

“Oh, so you were watching?” And damn could Loki play coy when he wanted to. Tony was so grateful for the darkness of the room. “There is no gossip or drama to share. What’s past is very much past.”

He really hoped that Loki wasn’t tarnishing all his exes with the same brush in that statement. 

“Are there any potential people on the horizon vying for a place as Tony Stark’s next conquest?”

There was no denying that he was definitely overthinking Loki’s question. And yet he couldn’t help but allow his brain to slip into the realm of sweet possibility and wonder if his question was an unsubtle hint to gauge information about his potential competition. If only he knew, Tony thought. 

But he couldn’t know. And Tony knew he was being ridiculous. So he lied. 

“There may be two or three potential suitors on the horizon,” he said smugly. “But I hate to kiss and tell.”

Another lie. If he had his way he would snog the face off Loki right in front of the journalists that he was sure were still gathered outside. 

He tried to steer the conversation back into safer waters by asking a series of mundane questions but Loki was having none of it. It seemed that the closer to sleep the man got, the more personal he was willing to get.

Groggily, voice half lost into his pillow, Loki asked, “Do you think you will ever have children?”

“Ugh maybe? I haven’t really thought about it. Pep never mentioned kids when we were together.” He paused. “Yeah, maybe. If I was with the right person.”

The only reply he received was Loki’s deep breathing as he sunk further into his dreams. Tony knew what question he wanted to ask next but the reaction he might receive was entirely unpredictable.

Hesitantly, he asked, “And you? Would you have more kids?”

There was silence for a moment before he heard Loki whisper, “yes. If I was with the right person.”

It was definitely the booze and the atmosphere, the adrenaline of the evening still coursing through his veins, the super sexy man in his bed, that made Tony want to be the right person for Loki. That had him praying that he already was.

“Hey.” He nudged his knee against Loki’s. “It’s your turn.”

“Hmm,” came the reply. “Oh. What’s your favourite fruit?”

He laughed quietly. “Pineapple.” 

Tiredness was starting to creep into his own bones. The weight of the day and the excitement of the night finally catching up with him. There was so much comfort in sharing a bed with Loki again. The man exuded a serene energy that carried Tony away from his worries and the possibility of regret to focus his brain on the real questions he wanted to ask before they were both lost to sleep.

“Why don’t you call me Anthony anymore?” 

Loki didn’t move. His breathing remained slow and even. “You never liked being called your full name except when I did. Calling you Anthony was always personal. It was something special between us,” he mumbled.

The moment was coming, Tony could feel it. He imagined this was what it was like to fly. Those few seconds running through all the ‘what ifs’ before you jump and see if the sky catches you. 

“You called me Anthony earlier when we danced,” he said quietly.

“Because that was something special.”

It was now. It was time to jump. 

“Loki?”

He hummed in reply, more than halfway asleep. 

“Can I kiss you?” he breathed.

Loki’s eyes flicked open in the darkness. Tony could see them reflecting the tiny specks of light escaping into the room through the gap in the curtains.

“It’s my turn to ask a question.”

“Hurry up then.”

Loki chuckled and said, “why do you want to kiss me?”

“Because I want you to call me Anthony again.”

“You don’t need to kiss me for that. You could just ask.”

They were so close now. There were barely a handful of centimetres separating them. Tony could taste Loki’s cool, minty breath against his lips as he spoke. 

“Loki,” he said. Maybe it was a question. His brain was foggy and he couldn’t think straight. There were no more what ifs. 

“Yes, Anthony.”

Tony closed the gap between them.


End file.
